What Do You Look For In A Great Penpal Letter?

[asnailmailer]

I know everyone is different, you like different pens, inks, paper, books, films, genres, hobbies.. but what to you makes a great penpal letter? What makes one not so good?

 

A given - it has to be legible.

[MHBru]

Following..

[CraigR]

Over the years and many pen pals later, I really enjoy a letter that tells me about the writer: their lives, interests, family, books they are reading, etc. I think of a pen pal as a friend, maybe a new one or maybe one I have gotten to know over time. Yes, we have interests in pens, inks, and papers in common, but that does not completely define us or our relationship. I like to sit down to write a letter with the intent of having a conversation with the recipient and hope that they feel the same way and it is reflected in their letters. That is probably way more than you asked for, but I think it sums it up for me.

Edited May 8, 2018 by CraigR

[johnboz]

For me, a good letter from a penpal is one that discusses topics we've already covered to some extent and also offers opportunities for new conversations. For example, if we have travel in common, here is one of many threads that might weave through a series of hypothetical letters:

 

Penpal: "I'm really excited about my upcoming vacation to Paris."

Me: "Oh, how fun! I've never been, but am going to be in London in a few months. Is it worth the trip from London to spend a few days in Paris? What were your favorite things you did?"

Penpal: "London looks like such a fun city! I've always wanted to go, but couldn't fit it in on this trip. Paris was just lovely! The food is amazing and the museums are some of the best in the world. You should definitely go if you can. I loved going to..."

 

From this conversation we can discuss Paris, London, food, museums, and anything else that gets mentioned in our future letters. I feel like a series of letters is similar to a couple of people improvising jazz. Each person is listening to the other and giving him or her opportunities and space to say what they need to say, while at the same time taking cues to carry the conversation to a new place that both people can work from.

 

What makes a penpal letter not so good? When it asks no questions, has answers that are flat, and doesn't leave room for expanding on topics.

[Sailor Kenshin]

I like 'em short, lighthearted, and humorous. It's a plus if we can squee over shared obssessions (kitchen gadgetry, horsies, knitting/crochet.)

[Goingbuddha]

I, apparently, don't have what it takes. I started corresponding with about 6 people. I'm down to one. I like to learn. I like information as well as opinion. Though, opinion must be backed with knowledge.

[PaganArcher]

Acceptance, understanding, and tolerance.

 

Be it due to different cultures, religions, political stances, etc... A mutual acceptance and willingness to learn without projecting one's own bias is key to a good and enjoyable dialogue.

[WaskiSquirrel]

I enjoy different people! A little insight into a different world or a different life is great. Shared interests are great, but so are different interests. And it's great if there is communication going on: acknowledgement of each others' letters, some continuing conversation.

[asnailmailer]

Some of my successful correspondence has been with people I might not have gone up to talk to face-to-face. There are many penpalling sites out there, with people having profiles listing interests, hobbies, etc.. I have found that many I wrote to with mostly similar hobbies, the correspondence hasn't worked out. InCoWriMo has been great - you barely know anything about them, so starting from a blank slate, without prejudice. There are a couple of sites where letter exchanges are set up, randomly or you write to everyone in a group. These have also been good.

 

In general, politics and religion should be avoided. One penpal has mentioned a huge rift in her family due to US politics.

 

You want your letters to bring joy, or at least a smile to the face especially if circumstances are difficult. A letter should make someone's day. 3 people made my day today (including at least one person on this forum). All three letters are different, but all three bring me joy (and I don't mean the Lamy version!).

[thinker630]

I think detail makes for a great penpal letter. Saying: “We went on vacation. We went to the beach. It was fun. Now I’m back at work. It’s fine but I miss being on vacation” may all very well be true, but it’s so dreary to read.

 

On the other hand, I have had amazing descriptions of someone’s ordinary day, even just how they woke up and what the sunlight looked like, streaming in through their window, and I was completely charmed. If you can take some time to describe ANY aspect of your life in detail, I will feel engrossed and delighted. Your life is fascinating to me... I have never seen what you see, after all! So, please, tell me all about it.

Edited June 24, 2018 by thinker630

[LizEF]

I think detail makes for a great penpal letter. Saying: “We went on vacation. We went to the beach. It was fun. Now I’m back at work. It’s fine but I miss being on vacation” may all very well be true, but it’s so dreary to read.

 

On the other hand, I have had amazing descriptions of someone’s ordinary day, even just how they woke up and what the sunlight looked like, streaming in through their window, and I was completely charmed. If you can take some time to describe ANY aspect of your life in detail, I will feel engrossed and delighted. Your life is fascinating to me... I have never seen what you see, after all! So, please, tell me all about it.

 

Yes! Thank you. This is what we've lost in the age of twitter and it's 128 (or whatever)-character limits - most of us don't seem to know how to think this way anymore, or even notice these details.

[asnailmailer]

I think detail makes for a great penpal letter. Saying: “We went on vacation. We went to the beach. It was fun. Now I’m back at work. It’s fine but I miss being on vacation” may all very well be true, but it’s so dreary to read.

 

...

 

Though if you are writing in a foreign language, this type of short sentences may be almost all you know how to write. You probably would give some leeway to someone writing in a non-native language.

 

I did have one brief correspondence with a native English speaker but their letters were so dreary, the sentences (similar to your example) barely told me anything I didn't already know from a previous letter.

[pen_master]

The tone should be conversational, though that does not mean serious ideas can’t be discussed. It should sound like two friends talking to each other over a coffee or beer.

Recognition of the ideas mentioned in the letter is important and then adding something interesting keeps the conversation going. A pen pal letter should open opportunities to future discussion.

Timely response is an underrated quality. Pen pals that take months to respond just don’t have the same impact as those who send more frequently. The bond that pen pals have is strengthened by more frequent communication.

Genuine interest in their letter in the form of adding pictures, stories, recipes, etc. show that you have considered their words.

Attention to details such as paper (e.g. not using cheap paper), using a wax seal, and careful handwriting can elevate a regular pen pal letter to a special one.