How To Say No To A Borrower Without Looking Like A Jerk?

[adrian44]

You've probably been there; at a bank's teller/stand filling the slip then someone next to you asks nicely if they can borrow the pen for a few seconds, you're on a plane filling the landing card when the person next to you -whom you've been chatting with- asks to use your pen, etc.

 

Of course never a problem when you have a $1 rollerball pen, but what if you have a lovely fountain pen with a gold nib and you can imagine the person being unfamiliar with it pressing too much and damaging the nib or even simply dropping it and and there goes your $800 investment?

 

I don't want to have to carry an additional loaner pen all the time, I do not want to leave my nice pens at home all the time fearing this situation, and I can't imagine myself telling anyone "sorry, it's an expensive pen and you will probably damage it".

 

How would you handle this conundrum, and do you have any personal anecdotes?

Edited January 28, 2017 by adrian44

[jar]

Why say "No" in the first place. This is always a great opportunity to introduce someone to fountain pens and it's always best to do so with a really fine example. Here is your chance to do an "Introduction to Fountain Penology 101" short course. Start with the basics, shiny side up, keep the rubber on the road, what make and model it is, light hands are good hands, make filling out forms fun, "Yes, it did cost about the same as my laptop...".

[Chrissy]

I rarely go out with take any of my more expensive pens with me when I go out, I just prefer to leave them at home and carry cheaper pens with me So I don't experience the problem. However if I didn't trust the person to handle one of my pens without hurting the gold nib, then I would say no. I have let some of my friends try out the odd one or two though, especially when they have been in my house where i consider it safer.

 

On balance though,I would rather look like a jerk than have someone ruin one of my Montblanc or Omas gold nibs.

[Bo Bo Olson]

Fountain pen 101,,,,for beginners. Hold behind the big knuckle....press like writing on a blasting cap.

 

 

If not then the Big Lie...can't took me weeks to get the nib to write to my Hand...even a minute of you writing will ruin that.

Edited January 28, 2017 by Bo Bo Olson

[Cryptos]

I think if the person asking thought the business end of the pen was called a "nip" then I would have some reservations about lending my pen to them quite frankly. But that's just me.

[Chrissy]

OP for future reference, just in case you weren't aware, the part you write with is always a 'nib' not a 'nip'

[chromantic]

Unfortunately, the easiest solution is to carry a 2nd pen, a rollerball or ballpoint, in your pocket and, when they ask, say "of course' and pull that out and hand it to them.

 

The little Herbin rollerballs are great for this - uncap it and only hand them the pen, it's too short for comfort and they'll be only too glad to return it. Plus, you'll have something to use on carbonless forms and that you've filled with a color of your choice. Whatever you do, don't hand them the used Pelikan red striped K800 ballpoint you just paid $205 for on ebay!

[adrian44]

OP for future reference, just in case you weren't aware, the part you write with is always a 'nib' not a 'nip'

 

Done!

 

[thygreyt]

I'm quite comfortable saying no

[Ghost Plane]

I'm quite comfortable saying no

This. Unless they are genuinely interested, at which point I mention it's been specially customized for me.

 

The public expects a value under a dollar/euro and must be educated that they're asking the equivalent of borrowing your watch or car keys.

[TheRealMikeDr]

Frankly I don't recall the last time someone asked to borrow a pen. I typically don't take a pen with me when I leave the house unless traveling for business - in which case I take a cheap (robust) pen (usually a Pilot Metro) with no sentimental value and I would be happy to loan it to someone.

[dogpoet]

I'm with thygreyt as well. Myself, I don't particularly care if somebody thinks I'm a jerk because I refuse to lend them something of mine. It could even be argued that going somewhere where you know you're going to be filling out a form and trying to mooch a pen off somebody because you can't be bothered to bring one yourself is a lot jerkier than refusing to give a stranger something they can walk off with.

[ethernautrix]

Once, another passenger asked if I had a pen she could use to fill out the customs form (so, on an airplane). I had a favorite (cheap) ballpoint in addition to the pen I was using, and I reluctantly (but not so's she noticed) handed it to her. When she was finished, someone asked to borrow her pen, and she handed it - my pen - right over. I had that Kids In the Hall moment: MY PEN!

 

It finally was returned to me, but sheesh! (I did have to insist on its return, by the way.)

[Jamesbeat]

I believe that the only elegant solution is to have a loaner pen.

A Fisher Space Pen is tiny, and is very useful for situations in which a fountain pen won't do, such as filing out duplicate forms or addressing an envelope (most fountain pen ink is not sufficiently water resistant).

 

Looking at it from the opposite perspective, if you only had a fountain pen and needed to fill out a duplicate form, you may have to ask someone else to lend you their ballpoint

 

I work in a busy office where it is considered normal and not at all bad mannered to grab a pen from someone else's desk to quickly jot something down.

 

I get around this by leaving ballpoints within easy reach near the entrance to my office and keeping my fountain pens close to where I sit.

Everyone knows about my nice pens, and they know to look for a ballpoint instead.

I return this courtesy by always making sure I have a ballpoint for guests to use.

 

You have to remember that pens are not considered to be personal possessions by 99% or people nowadays. They are a cheap (often free) commodity.

[Bluey]

Keep a spare Jinhao in your inside top pocket. Mention that your other(one asked to be borrowed) pen has been specially ground to your hand so you don't want to risk undoing the work, and that not even your own family are allowed to use it.

 

That way you can not only introduce a possible new person to fountain pens, but they won't feel so offended that you will at least lend one of your fountain pens to them.

Edited January 28, 2017 by Bluey

[Astronymus]

I made the experience that many people dislike the touch brushed steel pens. "Ugh."

So I kept one of those in my pencil case back in school. From that day on the mysterious disappearance of my ballpoints ended. Even the requests to lend it stopped.

Nowadays I always have a Lamy Pico with me. A gift from my wife. But if people don't see I have a pen with me I often tell them I wouldn't have one with me.

At work I have one or two cheap, advertising ballpoints that don't write so good around to lend them. If they don't return it doesn't matter much.

 

Once, another passenger asked if I had a pen she could use to fill out the customs form (so, on an airplane). I had a favorite (cheap) ballpoint in addition to the pen I was using, and I reluctantly (but not so's she noticed) handed it to her. When she was finished, someone asked to borrow her pen, and she handed it - my pen - right over. I had that Kids In the Hall moment: MY PEN!

It finally was returned to me, but sheesh! (I did have to insist on its return, by the way.)

I hate when people do that. Tracking your pen in the room is distracting while filling out a form.

Edited January 28, 2017 by Astron

[Kelly G]

I always have two or three pens in my pocket, running the gamut from cheap to expensive depending on my pen mood that morning. If someone needs to borrow a pen I remove the cap, hand them the pen while explaining the need to write very softly, and remind them the shiny part goes up. I've found over the years that keeping the cap in my hand is critical; I've had more potential damage from the cap being crammed back on than any thing else and it assures you get the pen back. I've never had a nib damaged, but I do watch closely if I sense they are unaware of proper technique.

 

The upside is that occasionally you have a nice conversation about fountain pens and create a potential convert.

 

My favorite pen loaning story: Several years ago I had a regular monthly meeting with a few colleagues. One woman at the meetings was in her early 80's. One day she needed to borrow a pen to take notes so I handed her my Parker 51. Her eyes lit up and she said she hadn't seen "one of these" in a long time. She knew exactly how to write with it. Point forward she used my Parker every meeting and she got to have the cap in her possession; never a problem with her.

Edited January 28, 2017 by Kelly G

[adrian44]

You have to remember that pens are not considered to be personal possessions by 99% or people nowadays. They are a cheap (often free) commodity.

 

Very true!!

[Sandy1]

Hi,

 

I refer to the rather slim Texan, Lyle Lovett: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U_L5Z3JZMU :: You can have my girl, but don't touch my hat.

 

Let us be kind to our friends. Mates who've pulled the rotring 600 from my shoulder sleeve needed it more than yours truly...

 

Bye,

S1

Edited January 28, 2017 by Sandy1

[ethernautrix]

Yes, it's important to remove the cap first. I learned that after a beefy stranger ripped the cap off instead of unscrewing. No lasting damage, thank goodness.

 

It was a Montblanc 146.

Edited January 28, 2017 by ethernautrix