The Worst Pen Ever

[terminal]

1980s A.W. Faber Castell "hologram" pen. Worst. Ever.

[dogpoet]

On the Safari: if you're looking for a flexy responsive nib that dances over the page, then it's not for you. But I enjoy them immensely, they remind me of when I was a kid. And they are quite possibly the best entry-level, first fountain pen out there.

Fair enough, but I can think of at least half a dozen better. Even with the Phileas and Kultur gone, there's still the Schneider Base, the Parker Frontier, a couple by Pilot and quite a few cheap Chinese things that make mincemeat out of it.

[fncll]

Can't agree with you on those pens that make mincemeat of the Safari, which I also believe to be near the top of the entry-level list, but as this thread grows I think it will become easier to list which pens *aren't* included by someone as the worst pen ever. I'm wracking my brain trying to think of a pen I have yet to see bashed on this board somewhere!

[smodak]

What is the absolute WORST, stupidest pen you've ever had in your possession?

 

I mean the crappiest, most non-usable FP. The hardest to start, the scratchiest nib. Whatever.

 

Now is thy chance to rant.

 

That would be Noodler's Ahab for me. YMMV

[Olliwerder]

An online fp (don't remember the name). The nib was probably the scratchiest I've ever used, it had problems with drying up, and, on top of that, it started leaking THROUGH the plastic section with no discernable cracks or irregular openings after around a week of use.

[lizzzielou]

It's a toss-up between the first two pens I bought: Sheaffer Viewpoint (I think that's the model, not positive - it's a $7.00 pen) and Zebra v-301.

 

I realize that for $7 and $5 respectively, I couldn't expect amazing quality, but these two pens are almost unusable. The Sheaffer especially - it dries up after a few seconds off the paper, and sometimes stops writing mid-stream. The Zebra is just scratchy, and has a tendency to dry out, although not as quickly as the Sheaffer.

 

I now have a Pelikano Junior, which I adore, and I almost worry that it has spoiled me for anything else. Does any other pen write that smoothly and consistently? *swoon*

 

Anyway...that felt good. Cathartic

[kwpalzang]

Lamy Safari. Absolutely terrible in all ways and nothing could make it better.

 

Ditto. Can't buy a decent nib. I don't know why.

 

I think the Safari's a great pen. It's reliable and I've never had a functionality issue at all with the pen, minus the cap - it has a tendency to strangely fall into periods of nonfunctionality after intense and prolonged use, but if I leave it be for a day or two, it snaps right back on again. Strange. Maybe it's something to do with an inner cap's warping or something? Huh. But truly, other than that, the pen has had no functionality issues - it's been reliable and has worked up to all penly expectations like a charm.

 

I have other, eh, qualms about the pen, but they're just subjective and personal. I'm not extremely fond of the looks of the pen - it is unique though, and I'm sure some love how it looks. Two, the so-called "EF" nibs are ridiculously huge - I think the nib is more of a medium?? Maybe even a medium-broad? ._. Or maybe I just have handwriting that's ridiculously small. Darn, I really do miss my black, fine-nibbed Pilot 78g. X_X But a very kind certain someone did send me a replacement green 78g in medium, though, among other things, and for that I am immensely thankful. The straight-up kindness of some folks here can be astounding.

 

I digress (I always do). I'm not sure what pen I have in my possession that I would consider the worst. Candidates: Platinum Preppy and Manuscript Dodec (a calligraphy pen). Both have crappy caps that are really prone to capping.... which then basically renders the pens useless. Well, useless as normal pens. You can't exactly lug around a pen whose cap can't stay on over its nib, right? -__-

Edited May 2, 2012 by phr4nkr4wk5

[79spitfire]

You can, but it would be messy...

[imadeadend]

Parker vector that has a real sharp point to it, basically unusable.

 

Hero 616s have a failure rate of around 1 in 3, as shown by my 10 pack

[dogpoet]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

[imadeadend]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

 

Come on man, they're two bucks a pop!

[JimB]

Stupidest pen? New(-ish) Platignum No 5, with its cap clutch that fails at the first opportunity. No choice other than to convert it to a desk pen. Which never gets used as there are so many other, better pens. Link is to a page from the mists of time past, as Cult Pens have apparently stopped selling Platignum althogether. Good riddance!

Same opinion here! I bought a Platignum (can't recall the model) from the bay mostly for the italic nib. It was interesting but scratchy and had flow issues. I sent it off to have the nib and feed adjusted. When it came back, the section was cracked. The grinder told me it was common for this brand pen, and said "sorry." I Googled Platignum and found lots of examples with the same issue of brittle sections and breakages. I tossed the pen and ate the loss. Never tried Platignum again. Or the grinder.

[impossiblebird]

Stupidest pen? New(-ish) Platignum No 5, with its cap clutch that fails at the first opportunity. No choice other than to convert it to a desk pen. Which never gets used as there are so many other, better pens. Link is to a page from the mists of time past, as Cult Pens have apparently stopped selling Platignum althogether. Good riddance!

Same opinion here! I bought a Platignum (can't recall the model) from the bay mostly for the italic nib. It was interesting but scratchy and had flow issues. I sent it off to have the nib and feed adjusted. When it came back, the section was cracked. The grinder told me it was common for this brand pen, and said "sorry." I Googled Platignum and found lots of examples with the same issue of brittle sections and breakages. I tossed the pen and ate the loss. Never tried Platignum again. Or the grinder.

Good move. At school, we used to laugh at the girls who owned Platignum pens. I never met one I liked, and they weren't at all robust. The new No5s and No2s I've tried have nibs so smooth, you could be writing on glass, but does anybody really want to write with a nib that's feedback-free? Oh, I'm sure there's one model out there that someone will put in a good word for, but, as far as I'm concerned, it can stay out there!

[funkypeanut]

Easy, my Zebra V301. If you dislike someone so much that you wish they never get the joy of fountain pen use, just buy them one of these and they will stay away from FPs for decades.

 

Well, it's actually not that bad, it's worse, much worse.

Yup, what he said.

 

Festering piece of poo

 

Not so much a pen as a pointed stick.

 

Second worst: The Retro 51 Director pens I bought on impulse at Tuesday Morning last year because they were marked down to $6 each. I bought two different nib sizes, a 2 and a 6, and they're both horrendously bad starters and skip like a six-year-old on a sugar high.

[bicfan]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

 

Come on man, they're two bucks a pop!

 

Pilot Precise V5 are $2 a pop, write for 2 km with smooth liquid ink, and never have problems. We often excuse crappy fountain pens because they are cheap.

Edited May 2, 2012 by bicfan

[Sailor Kenshin]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

 

Only if you get the fakes. I have a twelve-pack off a reliable dealer and they ALL write.

 

I bet every pen mentioned in this thread is someone else's favorite. I liked the Z-pen, love my Preppys, and just bought a bunch of Safaris that work just fine.

 

It's all vewy mystewious.

[fncll]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

 

Only if you get the fakes. I have a twelve-pack off a reliable dealer and they ALL write.

 

 

My experience is that, with the fakes, about 10% work properly. With the real thing, about 80% or so. Still a good value!

I too have had good luck with many of the pens in this thread. That's life in the fountain pen world, where the only consistency is the inconsistent quality control...

[thumabr]

I had a lemon of a black platinum preppy. The purple one starts every time no matter how long it has been stored nib up. The black one on the other hand needs a shake and scribble to start even when store upside down. I flushed it out and its just sitting in my desk waiting until I need it. I probably wont ink it up again and Ill find another pen to be my go to black pen. Maybe a smoke VAC700.

[imadeadend]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

 

Come on man, they're two bucks a pop!

 

Pilot Precise V5 are $2 a pop, write for 2 km with smooth liquid ink, and never have problems. We often excuse crappy fountain pens because they are cheap.

 

Knew someone would say this sooner or later.

 

Yes you can buy a Preppy or a Pilot for 2 dollars, but a Hero 616 uses a metal cap and an aerometric filler unit, hooded nib etc. So they are more like cheap pens with higher end features. A vpen, varsity, preppy, etc. are low end pens with low end features and a low end price tag.

[bicfan]

Oh, don't even get me started on those 616s. Look up "quality control issues" in a dictionary and there's just a photo of one of the things...

 

Come on man, they're two bucks a pop!

 

Pilot Precise V5 are $2 a pop, write for 2 km with smooth liquid ink, and never have problems. We often excuse crappy fountain pens because they are cheap.

 

Knew someone would say this sooner or later.

 

Yes you can buy a Preppy or a Pilot for 2 dollars, but a Hero 616 uses a metal cap and an aerometric filler unit, hooded nib etc. So they are more like cheap pens with higher end features. A vpen, varsity, preppy, etc. are low end pens with low end features and a low end price tag.

What good are high-end features if the pen won't write worth a damn and it's a (bleep) shoot whether you'll get one that works. I bought 3 Hero 616s from yespens. All duds. Garbage.

 

You know what's a high-end feature? The Pilot nib on the VPen. It writes and writes well at any rotational angle.

 

Seriously, though, I can see your point. Would be awesome if my three Hero 616s worked for that price. Would probably use them and nothing else.