Love Letters

[tobycain]

Hello, fellow letter lovers:

 

 

I'm writing to you with an unusual epistolary request.

 

I have the opportunity to travel the world, through a fellowship by the Thomas J. Watson Foundation, researching the role of the love letter in the modern world, but I need your help with my proposal.

 

I want to explore the importance of love letters in times of conflict, and, more generally, the role of post in the modern world. I would like to travel to England and Italy, looking at epistolary archives from the World Wars. I hope to travel to Serbia and Bosnia to see the role letters played in the Yugoslav Wars. I would also like to visit Japan, to see how letters connected individuals after the earthquake and tsunami. I plan, too, to travel to Argentina, Spain, and maybe even South Africa. My hope is to volunteer at postal museums and in philatelic societies in these countries. In order to connect with people and hear their stories, I plan to visit independent paper mills to get acquainted with paper, the origin of all letters. I would host letter-writing nights where we could share our experiences with the post.

 

 

 

Do any of you have unique stories to tell about relationships strengthened or maintained through letter writing? Do you have personal experience with the power of written sentiments? Do you have any suggestions for the direction of this dream of mine? Any insights you can offer me will be incredibly appreciated.

 

 

Thanks for your time, and happy letter-writing!

 

Sincerely,

Toby

[USMCMom]

How interesting ... no fascinating ... and enlightening that would be!!

[Ghost Plane]

My advice to you is to include post cards, not just traditional letters, in your research. Many people crammed more than you think on those cards, but in veiled language due to their public nature.

 

If you're focusing on war time in particular, I believe the V mail home from US troops may be available - try the Library of Congress.

 

Good luck!

[Tiffanyhenschel]

I would add that love letters should not be limited to those sent by post. A love letter thoughtfully written to a husband, wife, son, daughter etc. can be particularly meaningful when simply left where they will find it. My mother did this with me when I was a teenager and going through the typical strained teenaged relationships. Even though there were times I would not speak to her then, I kept the letters ( and still have some of them. )

My husband and I write formal love letters to each other. Taking time to write special thoughts and seal them in an envelope adds an element of importance to the relationship.

[stonezebra]

This sounds like a fascinating adventure! What will be the result - a book, a paper presented somewhere? Pleae keep us updated!

[Scribblescrub]

How interesting.

 

I dated a Merchant Seaman some 22 years ago. I dumped him because he never bothered to write me any letters whilst away.

[marvinreader]

I would add that love letters should not be limited to those sent by post. A love letter thoughtfully written to a husband, wife, son, daughter etc. can be particularly meaningful when simply left where they will find it. My mother did this with me when I was a teenager and going through the typical strained teenaged relationships. Even though there were times I would not speak to her then, I kept the letters ( and still have some of them. )

My husband and I write formal love letters to each other. Taking time to write special thoughts and seal them in an envelope adds an element of importance to the relationship.

 

I would second this...my mom gives my sister and I cards during times that are rough or to commemorate small successes...it makes a huge difference.

 

I also began writing love letters to my SO as a way to practice handwriting, but it actually served to bring us much closer. It allows me to express how I really feel and allows him to see how much I care. I never really know what is going to come out of my pen until I put it to the paper...sometimes I surprise myself with how I really feel.

[MrClegg]

My Grandmother and Grandfather were in the WRAF/RAF during the war. Actually they worked in the ops rooms in London, charting and guiding the fighter squadrons to the enemy planes. They met during the battle of Britain, married in London during the blitz, but shortly after they were married my Grandfather was sent to Gibraltar, North Africa and I believe Italy.

I'm a little rusty on the dates etc. but he caught TB and was in Hospital abroad until late in 1945. That was 4 years apart with only letters to keep in touch. They both kept the letters they sent to each other: his were very reserved limited a lot by the inability to disclose where he was and what he was doing, hers were a little bit more outgoing being in familiar surroundings with friends.

Most of her letters had little sketches in them, but most noticable were the decorated envelopes, paintings of "pin-up" girls in underwear (similar to the Jane cartoons of the time), by today's standards very tame but in 1943/4 I imagine they were very saucy. I remember my Grandfather saying after he read the letters the rest of the men wanted to look at the envelopes!

 

Sadly most of them were destroyed when a waterpipe burst, but my Sister has the two or three that survived framed and on her wall. I doubt it will work very well, due to the glass, but I can if you are interested, ask her to attempt to photo/photocopy them.

 

Craig

[Jimothy]

My wife and I had a long distance courtship. She lived near Leicester and I lived variously in London, Southend and County Durham. This lasted for 3 years and we wrote to each other regularly throughout that time as we were only able to get together abnout once every three or four weeks. I worked shifts and spent many a long night shift writing long letters to her. To this day if I have personal correspondence to write (not love letters) I tend to do it late into the night> Now my snailing pals know why my handwriting looks like I'm falling asleep After those three years we got married and, obviously, have lived together ever since.

[Chevalier]

I still receive mysterious postcards and letters from a woman that knows me pretty well, reaching me from all over the world (mostly while she seems to be on holiday vacation). She never writes her full name and I am unable to remember who she is. This really bothers me, because her letters and cards are always nice and reflect a certain kind of care towards me.

Edited September 14, 2011 by Chevalier

[WhiskeyMan]

I can only speak of tragedies from doing so. This is certainly a study of history because I haven't yet met anyone who has appreciated such a thing. Maybe you should pinpoint the exact day when the general population gave up on writing meaningfully.

 

And Chevalier, perhaps it is your Mother. Maybe an Auntie?

[Laike]

I can only speak of tragedies from doing so. This is certainly a study of history because I haven't yet met anyone who has appreciated such a thing. Maybe you should pinpoint the exact day when the general population gave up on writing meaningfully.

 

And Chevalier, perhaps it is your Mother. Maybe an Auntie?

 

Whiskey, I'm on the same boat. My gf dumped me after I sent her a love letter. Mind you, it wasn't out of falling out of love at least :S

[spiv]

My gf dumped me after I sent her a love letter. Mind you, it wasn't out of falling out of love at least :S

 

I once got a perfumed Dear John letter :blink:

some people look better in your rear-view...

receding...

quickly.

[pajaro]

When I was in the USAF in the early 1970s, my girlfriend and I wrote each other a lot, like near daily. I got letters from family sometimes. It must have been after that that people quit writing en masse.

 

 

[Captmdnght]

I would write my wife love letters when we were first married. We worked opposing shifts and were together about two days a week. I would write them

as if we were indeed separated by distance. I believe she still has all of those letters.

 

Jim

[Dino Silone]

I don't know if it's off-topic here, but does email count? Before we start moaning about how the art of writing love letters has disappeared, we should note that, according to Time Magazine, 30% of all couples meet online today, and meeting via the internet is second only to introduction by mutual friends as a way for two strangers to connect and form a romantic relationship.

 

Often, couples will have corresponded by email or PM or some textual form of communication (often daily or more than once a day) for weeks or months before meeting face to face, and the exchange of electronic love-letters will continue well into the relationship (until they've gotten so used to one another that their habitual means of communication becomes one asking the other where the remote is... ).

 

On the topic of pen-and-paper love letters, a second-cousin of mine met his future wife while he was working in Venezuela, and rooming with an Italian family from a town a couple of miles from his home town. The family thought he was a decent, industrious young man, so they offered to introduce him, by mail, to their niece back in Italy. My cousin and the niece corresponded for a number of months, fell in love based on their letters, and became engaged. He needed to keep working in Venezuela (this was the 1950s, and work in Italy was really hard to find...), but they wanted to begin their lives together. It would have been considered very improper for her to travel to meet him without being married, and he couldn't leave his job, so they got married by proxy - her brother stood in his place at the altar.

 

She then sailed for Venezuela, and they met for the first time a couple of weeks later -- as man and wife.

 

The amazing thing about this story is that they were the happiest long-term married couple I've ever known. I remember visiting them, and noticing how he would break out in a silly, hopelessly besotted smile as his eyes would follow her around the room - even in the middle of a conversation with a group of people. And her eyes would be riveted adoringly on him every time he opened his mouth to talk, no matter how mundane what he was saying was. They acted like a couple in the first rush of being in-love. Except that this was after twenty-five years of marriage!

[Ondina]

Great project, I wish you luck.

On the love letters, a woman in my family that dated and married her penpal after 2 years. She asked to be buried with them, 79 years after.

Edited September 22, 2011 by Ondina

[rogerb]

Welcome to FPN, Toby

 

A member here (who seems to have dropped-off the radar) asked a rather similar question about 3 years ago, and I hand-wrote for him a short account (<1000 words) of having 2 female pen-pals when I was in Saudi Arabia around 1970. I have an 'electronic' copy which I'd be happy to share with you, if you'd like to have it.

Edited September 25, 2011 by rogerb

[jkavi]

I was able to maintain a long-distance relationship with a girl in Manila, whilst I was away in Vancouver. I sent her 19 letters in 8 months, and she replied 4 times.

 

The lack of effort on her part played a crucial factor in the termination of the said relationship.

[JSButterfly]

When I saw this post, I immediately thought of the movie, Letters to Juliet. I don't think it's all fiction. In the movie, there was place in Italy where broken hearted ones could leave a letter for Juliet. In the movie, all the letters received a response from one of a group of "Juliet's secretaries" -- each with a different specialty -- Married woman, widowed woman, etc, etc.

 

There was a documentary style "Special Feature" on the DVD that highlighted the work of these women and the location in Italy.

 

For me it was a great love story!