Fountain Pens And Cancer

[FOUR X FOUR]

Go buy or rescue a puppy. This will elevate your wife's mood.

[Bklyn]

Go buy or rescue a puppy. This will elevate your wife's mood.

 

Not a bad idea. Since we lost our last one, she has spoken of it.

[flipper_gv]

That's like the healthiest coping strategy I've heard of. If fountain pens soothes your mind in the face of such a terrible situation, consider yourself lucky. Write, write, and write more!

Wish the best for you and your wife.

[fatswimmies]

Bklyn, thank you for posting this. I'm very touched by all the posts in this thread. My mom is undergoing chemotherapy for a second breast cancer after having a lumpectomy and radiation last year. This time is was a different type of breast cancer and much more aggressive. It's been a very challenging year for me and my family and navigating various tensions in my personal life as well as maturing as an adult and becoming my own person. Writing for me has been very therapeutic and the fountain pen hobby has gotten me back into journaling and letter writing, which I've been able to use to share my thoughts and feelings with loved ones (including my mom) when it's been too difficult to talk.

 

I've been taking my mom to treatment every other week, alternating with my brother, and I just sit and write with my pens. I agree, it's calming to see the ink flow especially during the time spent in the chemo wing just waiting and waiting for the IV bag to finish and try to remain calm and positive. It's so scary to see the effects of chemo on your loved one, I can only repeat the advice friends have given me to be there and be positive for your loved one and remember to care for yourself too.

 

I wish you and your wife the very best, you're in my thoughts.

Edited June 5, 2016 by fatswimmies

[IrishEyes]

Oh, dear. I am SO very sorry to hear that you and your wife are having to deal with this scourge of humanity. Cancer is such a nasty thing, and whether the afflicted wins out over it or not, it affects everyone around them for the rest of their lives. True, one learns to appreciate the little things in life, more, and true that it's an opportunity to grow closer to family and one's faith (if any), but it's an awful way to learn those lessons, and imho, no one should ever have to know this kind of suffering! I will most certainly pray for your wife, for you, and for your family. I know it's probably not any comfort at all for you right now, but it looks like you have people from all over the world holding you both close in their thoughts and prayers. Maybe it just helps us to cope, but hopefully it helps you both, too. Having helped care for both of my parents as they struggled with, and died from, cancer, I can certainly empathize with what you're going through. My dad died w/in weeks of his diagnosis of non-small cell lung cancer. It took my mother 3 years before she succumbed to the duodenal cancer that took her life. Both times, we were with them, by their bedsides once it came to that, and before, helping them as they underwent their various surgical and chemotherapy treatments, or in my father's case, just by being at his bedside, and taking care of his financials and other needs, too. Watching someone lose their war with cancer is no fun task, but such is life--at some point we all realize the mortality of the human condition, and have to deal with it as best we can. I'm sure you already know to keep your wife close and to be there during her time of greatest need, but also, I hope that you can find some time for yourself, too.

 

I, too, find comfort in writing. I write in one of several journals daily, and I really enjoy writing postcards to my PC pen swap friends. When my mother was sick, and we weren't there after she was sent back home after a year and a half or so in the various hospitals undergoing not just the original surgery, but also a couple more, afterwards, and her chemo treatments after that before she decided to go home for them instead of hang around in Portland any longer (365 miles from us), I sent her a letter every day. I like to hope that it made her smile a bit, but it certainly helped ME to be able to put into words how much I loved her, and tell her about the little things in our days. Later, when she became bedridden and it was obvious she would never get back out of bed, we traveled to her, and worked in shifts with other family members to care for her needs, as she chose to stay home as a hospice patient. Then, I found other things to occupy my time, and when I had a little bit of "me time", I would write a little in my journal. It was about the only comfort I had during that time, especially while zwack returned to work during the week and I stayed with Mom and my family.

 

So, by all means, if it brings you calm and/or comfort, write! Maybe in a journal, or maybe small love notes to your beloved wife. Whatever it takes to help you cope during this time. I empathize with you, and will keep you both in my prayers. I am more touched by what you're going through than you know. As they say, "been there, done that"--and I dearly wish I hadn't had to! Hopefully, more effective and less invasive treatments will be found for all cancers, soon. God willing, maybe even in time to save your wife. Peace be with you.

 

Irish

[IrishEyes]

I used them by her bedside today as she slept. Very relaxing. I mention ed ti her and told her that I might get a MB 149 and use it at her bedside. She asked the price. I told her. she said that she is not THAT sick. Oh well, nice try.

 

LOL! How nice that she has kept a sense of humor :-). May she have many more happy years with you--even if it means you can't get your MB 149 for awhile! :-)

[IrishEyes]

Go buy or rescue a puppy. This will elevate your wife's mood.

 

My cure for everything, which is undoubtedly why we are now owned by 9 dogs . Puppies are a fantastic distraction from one's own troubles, and if you have the time to spend with a puppy, I can't think of any better way to help both of you during this time! My mother loved her 2 dogs more than any human in her world, I think, and I'm pretty sure they are the reason that she survived twice as long as the doc's prognosis. There's nothing more comforting and wonderful than a warm, wiggly puppy and sweet puppy kisses :-). I think getting a puppy if you're up to it and like dogs is a VERY good idea, at least ime.

Edited June 6, 2016 by IrishEyes

[zwack]

My cure for everything, which is undoubtedly why we are now owned by 19 dogs .

I am sure that that meant to say 9 dogs... If not I haven't found the other 10 yet.

 

Bklyn, I won't add to My wife's list with more...

 

May you and your wife pull through this hard time. Peace be upon you both.

[Bklyn]

That's like the healthiest coping strategy I've heard of. If fountain pens soothes your mind in the face of such a terrible situation, consider yourself lucky. Write, write, and write more!

 

Wish the best for you and your wife.

 

I thank you. I will indeed continue to write.

[Bklyn]

Bklyn, thank you for posting this. I'm very touched by all the posts in this thread. My mom is undergoing chemotherapy for a second breast cancer after having a lumpectomy and radiation last year. This time is was a different type of breast cancer and much more aggressive. It's been a very challenging year for me and my family and navigating various tensions in my personal life as well as maturing as an adult and becoming my own person. Writing for me has been very therapeutic and the fountain pen hobby has gotten me back into journaling and letter writing, which I've been able to use to share my thoughts and feelings with loved ones (including my mom) when it's been too difficult to talk.

 

I've been taking my mom to treatment every other week, alternating with my brother, and I just sit and write with my pens. I agree, it's calming to see the ink flow especially during the time spent in the chemo wing just waiting and waiting for the IV bag to finish and try to remain calm and positive. It's so scary to see the effects of chemo on your loved one, I can only repeat the advice friends have given me to be there and be positive for your loved one and remember to care for yourself too.

 

I wish you and your wife the very best, you're in my thoughts.

I am so pleased to meet you here and I am so terribly sorry to hear of your mother plight. When i was a kid, I thought that life was going to be easy. I was incorrect. You are in my prayers and I am going to think good things about you and your mom. Please give her a hug for me.

[Bklyn]

Oh, dear. I am SO very sorry to hear that you and your wife are having to deal with this scourge of humanity. Cancer is such a nasty thing, and whether the afflicted wins out over it or not, it affects everyone around them for the rest of their lives. True, one learns to appreciate the little things in life, more, and true that it's an opportunity to grow closer to family and one's faith (if any), but it's an awful way to learn those lessons, and imho, no one should ever have to know this kind of suffering! I will most certainly pray for your wife, for you, and for your family. I know it's probably not any comfort at all for you right now, but it looks like you have people from all over the world holding you both close in their thoughts and prayers. Maybe it just helps us to cope, but hopefully it helps you both, too. Having helped care for both of my parents as they struggled with, and died from, cancer, I can certainly empathize with what you're going through. My dad died w/in weeks of his diagnosis of non-small cell lung cancer. It took my mother 3 years before she succumbed to the duodenal cancer that took her life. Both times, we were with them, by their bedsides once it came to that, and before, helping them as they underwent their various surgical and chemotherapy treatments, or in my father's case, just by being at his bedside, and taking care of his financials and other needs, too. Watching someone lose their war with cancer is no fun task, but such is life--at some point we all realize the mortality of the human condition, and have to deal with it as best we can. I'm sure you already know to keep your wife close and to be there during her time of greatest need, but also, I hope that you can find some time for yourself, too.

 

I, too, find comfort in writing. I write in one of several journals daily, and I really enjoy writing postcards to my PC pen swap friends. When my mother was sick, and we weren't there after she was sent back home after a year and a half or so in the various hospitals undergoing not just the original surgery, but also a couple more, afterwards, and her chemo treatments after that before she decided to go home for them instead of hang around in Portland any longer (365 miles from us), I sent her a letter every day. I like to hope that it made her smile a bit, but it certainly helped ME to be able to put into words how much I loved her, and tell her about the little things in our days. Later, when she became bedridden and it was obvious she would never get back out of bed, we traveled to her, and worked in shifts with other family members to care for her needs, as she chose to stay home as a hospice patient. Then, I found other things to occupy my time, and when I had a little bit of "me time", I would write a little in my journal. It was about the only comfort I had during that time, especially while zwack returned to work during the week and I stayed with Mom and my family.

 

So, by all means, if it brings you calm and/or comfort, write! Maybe in a journal, or maybe small love notes to your beloved wife. Whatever it takes to help you cope during this time. I empathize with you, and will keep you both in my prayers. I am more touched by what you're going through than you know. As they say, "been there, done that"--and I dearly wish I hadn't had to! Hopefully, more effective and less invasive treatments will be found for all cancers, soon. God willing, maybe even in time to save your wife. Peace be with you.

 

Irish

I thank you so much for your post. It is so sad to be in the midst of this nightmare that gets worse each day but I intend to be there for her. Spent most of the day at the hospital today. A GREAT hospital but still and all, up against the limits of what they candy to help her. She spent almost all day sleeping and fighting off an infection from the first, and maybe last chemo session.

 

The time you spent helping your parents must have been so very hard. I can only try to imagine. I wish you peace and good things. Interestingly, today, as spoke with one of the MD's, I find myself playing with my fountain pen in my pocket. It was comforting.

[Helen350]

I was not sure as to where to go with this topic so I thought I might go to this group as it seems to be so many peoples first stop on all things fountain pen.

 

I was wondering if anyone takes comfort in using a fountain pen as a soothing element in their lives.

 

For me it is helpful. My wife has cancer; stage 4 and in operable. It is so terribly sad and she is so afraid. I am so afraid as well. Truth be told, I am terrified of her not being with me anymore.

 

I sit and use my pens after a day of work and then my time at the hospital. I do a bit of writing and a bit of drawing. The ink flowing onto the paper is calming. It is almost Zen in a sense and helps me to relax and hope for better things tomorrow.

 

I wish you all well, love to hear if you find your pens soothing and hope you will say a prayer for my wife.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious wife. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2012, and find writing extremely soothing to me. .Apart from my prayer journal, I am currently trying to complete a commentary on the Book of Romans. Inking my pens and sitting down to write helps me to be focused, and thankful for each day the Lord has given me. I pray that the Lord keeps you strong in the midst of this crisis. Know that you are not alone. I also pray that the physicians & team that is involved with her care, will walk in wisdom regarding your wife's specific medical needs.

Edited June 6, 2016 by Helen350

[Bklyn]

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious wife. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2012, and find writing extremely soothing to me. .Apart from my prayer journal, I am currently trying to complete a commentary on the Book of Romans. Inking my pens and sitting down to write helps me to be focused, and thankful for each day the Lord has given me. I pray that the Lord keeps you strong in the midst of this crisis. Know that you are not alone. I also pray that the physicians & team that is involved with her care, will walk in wisdom regarding your wife's specific medical needs.

 

I thank you so much for your kind words. Sadly, the decision to go to hospice has been settled on today. So terribly sad. Beyond belief. I am numb.

[Mr5x5]

 

I thank you so much for your kind words. Sadly, the decision to go to hospice has been settled on today. So terribly sad. Beyond belief. I am numb.

Continues prayers for you both.

[pen2paper]

forgive me as I muddle through expressing a thought that is sometimes overlooked in worry, pain, and grief...

Wish I'd not been so exhausted during the last days of parent care so that I could have used pen and journal to capture the sweet moments..

Despite it all, there were many, and I still treasure these, but in memory only.

 

I also look back at that difficult time and think, while we sure wished the tough parts weren't occurring, (but not wishing time away), I feel deep in my heart it was a great privilege to be there, and also the trusted one for all the dignity issues. Every wish, as we all try, was fulfilled to the best of my ability. And now, all of it together is a surprising comfort.

Keeping your family, as well as all here, in gentle good thoughts and prayers with hope for the future.

p2p

[FOUR X FOUR]

I gotta add to this. I can't stand to see this thread end on such a sad note. Is your wife one of those mushy dog lovers? We have 5. We also have a cat named Grady. When I walk my dogs, Grady tags along. My neighbors think it's the funniest thing, seeing a kitty cat walk along with a bunch of dogs. My pit bull, named Pharoah, likes to irritate my two smaller dogs, Cleatus and Sheldon. Pharoah will push them down and when they get mad at him he'll run and they'll chase him. Sky is my Saint Bernard. She's ten years old and her hips are starting to go, but she's the matriarch and she keeps every body in line. Gladys is my Beagle basset mix. She has a thing for Pharoah. Theyve all been fixed, but Pharoah is a muscular stud muffin and Gladys is a chubby little hound. Makes sense that she's always sharing her toys with him. Cleatus is a Shitzu Yorkie mix. He's called a Shitzi poo. Sheldon is a Dachshund poodle mix. He's called a Dachsy poo. The neat thing about Baby Cleatus and Shey Shey is, When they walk with Pharoah, they're alittle more confident. They'll bark at another dog and dare him to mess with them. Alright, I'm not writing a book, so I'll end it here. HERE.

[DNC]

 

I thank you so much for your kind words. Sadly, the decision to go to hospice has been settled on today. So terribly sad. Beyond belief. I am numb.

 

You remain in our thoughts and prayers as you began another day. I wish you peace.

[Uncial]

Keeping you both in prayer.

[inkstainedruth]

 

LOL! How nice that she has kept a sense of humor :-). May she have many more happy years with you--even if it means you can't get your MB 149 for awhile! :-)

 

I had just been thinking the same thing.

I wasn't into pens when my mom died (ovarian cancer, after having been a 35 year melanoma survivor). But I brought a drop spindle and some silk fiber with me on the plane and used it there and in her room for the last day. It kept me sane (my flight to Newark was delayed and I had fears that I would not get there in time, and showed up at the hospital about 10 PM, and then at my parents' house around 10:30 without having let my dad know I was coming). I got to talk to her for a bit that night. By the next morning when my dad and i went back over to the hospital she was completely out of it.

It's very hard, and thoughts and prayers are being sent your way.

Ruth Morrisson aka inkstainedruth

[Old_Inkyhand]

LENGTH ALERT - a long and insignificant post - you can keep scrolling if you wish to!

 

So far I've been fortunate enough to avoid such situations - life of my loved ones has never been in danger and I hope it will stay this way. When my beloved great-grandmother was terminally ill, I was too little to understand everything, thus I have no bad memories.

However this year my horse died (I hope you don't find it inappropriate that I talk here about horses).

I loved her so so much - we created a unique bond and understood each other very well. I was always shy and insecure, I had few friends and a lot of worries, but she made me forget about all those bad things. I had many plans about the future and she always played a big role in them. People kept telling me that she was the most wonderful and sweet horse they had ever met - and I could fully agree. She was my best friend and I did everything I could to make her life carefree and painless.

Unfortunately, shortly before her birthday, she was poisoned (probably unintentionally). After a long fight for her life (she was very calm and brave, good girl), when everything started to look fine and she was supposed to come back home from a clinic, she died of heart attack. I was heartbroken. I thought I wouldn't be able to lead my usual life for some time. But then someone told me that he has never seen a horse which would live a better life. We've spend so many wonderful moments together. She didn't experience neither cruelty nor hunger, she was always safe and warm, she used to spend all her free time (and she had plenty of it) on endless meadows, playing with other horses and resting in a shade. She had the best equipment, high quality food and vitamins. Everyone loved her. And finally, she died very fast, probably not knowing what was happening, she didn't suffer much.

And then I realised that what really matters is the quality of life, not it's length. It is important to have goals, to be loved, to be kind, to have some nice memories, to feel excitement, to help others, to find joy and satisfaction in little things. Every beautiful life is too short, but we shouldn't be too upset about its shortness. There are so many reasons to be grateful for its beauty and the happiness it has brought to other people. We will all die - some of us will die very young, but surrounded by friends and family, some people will lead a long, but sad and fearful life... If someone makes us smile, we shouldn't feel too much pain once (s)he's gone. There's no need to turn the magical moments spent together into tears, because these are an eternal gift which we can treasure and pass on. Now when I think about my mare, I think about all the times she made me laugh; about all those amazing adventures we had together, all the calm evenings and lazy mornings. I am very proud of her and thankful that we could spend a few years together. It was a lovely period in my life and although it still makes me cry a bit, deep inside I am happy to bring back memories.

 

Stay hopeful - miracles do happen, no matter if we believe in them or not. And when they don't seem to be coming around, we should think if they haven't already happened quite a few times...

 

I'm happy to hear that FPs help you a bit. I feel the same about them.

 

Sorry for such a lengthy post! I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of you and everyone else who has such a terrible time.

Edited June 8, 2016 by Old_Inkyhand