Keeping a journal

[JDR]

I use a journal to write about many things, but mostly I use it as a kind of therapy. As a result I often write entries that are very personal. Many of my writings are personal enough that I would not want others to read. As a result I keep my journal in a place that no one else knows about, not even my wife. In fact, my wife doesn't even know that I keep a journal. What about the rest of you? Is your journal off limits to everyone, or do you share your personal writings with others?

[Ghost Plane]

I live alone, so it's not a problem. If I can ever bag and tag the delectable Catnip, he's welcome to read it - at his own risk.

[Bearcat]

I live alone, so it's not a problem. If I can ever bag and tag the delectable Catnip, he's welcome to read it - at his own risk.

 

If he's bagged and tagged, he won't be doing much reading....Unless "bag and tag" has a different meaning for you than the common parlance.....

 

[jakespeed]

My wife reads mine all the time. Which is why she is no longer in the 'circle of trust'. It's actually become a joke between us, but I am thinking about keeping my new one, when I fill this one, in a different spot.

[David III]

My wife read mine once. She didn't like what she read. I told her that if she didn't want to get upset, then she shouldn't read it. She knows where it is, so anytime she thinks she wants to get mad again, she's free to take a look.

It is MY therapy, not hers.

[Chris H]

My ex-wife respected my privacy and did not read my journals. If the subject of my musing was of general interest I would share with her and even my daughter.

 

However, my current wife is less respectful of privacy. She seems to be of the opinion there should be no secrets between husband and wife. So, while she knows I am keeping a journal, I tend to keep it out of sight so it is out of her mind. No sense tempting fate.

 

However, I find the touch of secrecy to cramp my freedom to write. At this point the entries are mostly short and not of any profound interest. We live in a smallish apartment and that also exacerbates the problem, forcing me to write mostly not at home.

 

I think a journal should be private and each spouse should respect the other's right to keep his or her thoughts -- even if on paper -- private. Of course once on paper, I guess they could also be considered fair game.

 

Chris

[DixieAmazon]

My journal entries are brief and not especially personal. My DH can't stand to not read it.

[all my hues]

I think a journal should be private and each spouse should respect the other's right to keep his or her thoughts -- even if on paper -- private.

 

Chris

 

I'm not married, but I'd be seriously (whoa there) if my SO didn't keep his hands off of my private journal....and yes, my journals are always private. I'm a very private person

My dad is always trying to read over my shoulder (can we say "immature"?), but my boyfriend was always very respectful and if it fell open, would be very careful to not read anything as he picked it up for me. Now that's what I'm talking about.

[fpweasle]

I too consider my journal a form of therapy. Many entries would be disturbing to my friends and family. I don't share it with anyone. It is kept out of sight in a desk drawer. The desk behind a locked door in my home office. To read it without permission is to risk loss of trust, relationship and possibly place of residence.

[Otter]

I keep two journals at the moment. One is my therapy, which I often find I don't take enough time to write in. It doesn't matter if I leave it lying in plain sight, my husband would never open it. Nor would the kids. Though I'm not worried they could understand it as my handwriting is atrocious. The other is to be a present for my husband. In it I write notes to him and thoughts about our life and such. It is private for a different reason - it's meant to be a surprise when finished. I also don't have to worry about him reading it, but it's hard to write in it when anyone else is around so it's also taking a long time to fill.

Either way, I find my problem isn't in keeping the journals private but in finding private time in which to read them.

 

Otter

[RandyE]

I have no idea if my wife ever reads my journal, but if she did I would not care. After 24 years we have no secrets (not sure if we ever had secrets to be honest - I can no longer recall much before she showed up ). However, if I had asked her not to read it she would not have ever considered doing so. As for what's in there, my journal serves many purposes, and there is quite a bit of personal 'commentary' between the boards, but I would only be upset if someone other than my wife read it. By the by, my comments are intended to mean no disrespect - they are simply a reflection of my personal situation, not a judgment of others...

 

- Randy

[altecniblick]

I think privacy is very important regarding a journal especially as the ideas I put in them are often unformed thoughts. As such, they may not be a true representation of my beliefs, and should not be read by others lest they think that is a true representation.

 

Simon.

[Ghost Plane]

I live alone, so it's not a problem. If I can ever bag and tag the delectable Catnip, he's welcome to read it - at his own risk.

 

If he's bagged and tagged, he won't be doing much reading....Unless "bag and tag" has a different meaning for you than the common parlance.....

There's a secondary meaning involving rings

[Con]

I used to journal.

 

I was very open because my privacy

hadn't ever been invaded, up until that point.

 

Ex-boyfriend decided since there were no

secrets between us, it was fair game to read.

 

He took issue, not with anything I did, but

with my thoughts ... or perhaps with the way

my mind worked.

 

I've started journaling again, after 20 some years.

 

For now it's just a "this might be found and someday read"

journal.

 

I'd like to keep a "for my eyes only" journal because

it helps me think and to sort things out but I don't

know as I'll ever dare again.

 

 

I hope I do; it really helps.

[Pippin60]

My Journal is also therapy, ideas and other meanderings. Its very private, I am married but there is an understanding and so far my wife has not attempted to read it. She may keep one as I do see a journal at her desk that I gave her and I also have not attempted to read hers. I don't lock it away but I would know if it was opened. It's a Renaissance Journal and I tie it closed in a special way.

[JDR]

This is great, keep it coming! Something I had never thought of before was articulated by altecniblick. I find it a fascinating idea that entries in a journal are sometimes just thoughts and not beliefs. Obviously they are, and mine is no exception. I had just never thought of it that way. To make a judgement about someone based on thoughts and not beliefs (or actions) would indeed be sad. So please, continue. Thank you.

Edited February 26, 2009 by JDR

[ethernautrix]

Here's a point about privacy and reading other people's journals without their knowledge or permission: You can't un-know something. So if you now know something that you weren't supposed to know, you have to pretend you don't know it.

 

That is hard work.

 

Also, you are responsible for your own reaction, and you have calculate how much more you don't know (that you can't ask about) and keep in mind context and all these variables that affected the writer of the journal that you have no idea about.

 

Again, that's hard work.

 

 

It's a good reason not to pry. If you explained this to your spouses or whomever, it might dilute their curiosity.

[Paddler]

I don't write anything down that the world can't see. That goes for pen and ink, e-mail, whatever. If you don't shred it or delete it, sooner or later the world is gonna read it.

 

I don't know if my wife reads my journals or not. (probably not) We haven't discussed it. It doesn't matter to me either way.

 

Paddler

 

[twinofmunin]

I do not share my journal with anyone, but I suspect a lot of people know that I have it. I have never made any effort to hide it from anyone, and no one has ever displayed any interest in reading it. I think people realize it is a private sort of thing. My boyfriend in particular knows that I keep notes there especially when I am off-kilter, but he still has shown no desire to violate that privacy. If he wanted to and asked me about it, I don't think I would have any problem with him reading it, but if he went behind my back and sneakily read it, I would be quite upset. We are all for honesty, though, so I doubt he would do that.

Edited February 26, 2009 by twinofmunin

[Otter]

I do not share my journal with anyone, but I suspect a lot of people know that I have it. I have never made any effort to hide it from anyone, and no one has ever displayed any interest in reading it. I think people realize it is a private sort of thing. My boyfriend in particular knows that I keep notes there especially when I am off-kilter, but he still has shown no desire to violate that privacy. If he wanted to and asked me about it, I don't think I would have any problem with him reading it, but if he went behind my back and sneakily read it, I would be quite upset. We are all for honesty, though, so I doubt he would do that.

 

You make a good point here of the importance of asking permission. I would definitely let my husband read my journal if he asked, but I would want to be around if he had questions. It's not a matter of not keeping secrets. My husband and I are very open with each other. It's more as the others said - that the thoughts put down in a journal are incomplete and not meant to be taken out of that context.

 

My journal is generally quite ordinary with words that wouldn't anger a peacock. But those same words may have helped me think through a difficult issue.

BTW my current private journal is a cheap spiral bound notebook. Maybe if I get to using it more when I get my new pen I'll have to get a better one

 

Otter