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A Lament On The Disappearance Of The Hand Written Letter (But It Hasn't!)


HDoug

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Email can actually do more harm.

Oh, but we're in violent agreement there; I was pointing out that email is more powerful that way, was I not?

 

It is somewhat a lazy way to communicate.

In what way? My 250-word letter of complaint to the national chain's HQ wasn't that quick to compose, and my choice of words and phrasing was careful, deliberate and perhaps even painstaking.

 

If I have an issue with service or a product, rather than finding a corporate email, I would have a face to face with the person or an immediate supervisor.

I suspect you're alluding to a false dichotomy there. There is no inherent mutual exclusivity between having a face-to-face confrontation, which I personally never dread and am rarely keen to avoid, and sending something in writing in a manner that I know will be committed to record by the relevant parties.

 

We did confront the member of staff who lied point-blank to us, on the store premises that night. Actually, my wife had to physically chase him down, while I was at the customer service counter trying to resolve the material impact of the issue; he saw me pointing him out to the customer service counter staff, and my wife heading his way, and quickly removed his name tag then literally ran, abandoning the task he was in the middle of performing at the time.

 

I saw that happening, and so I summoned the duty manager; without the name of the staff member in question, I had to describe him as I explained what transpired. In due course the manager figured out who that was, and told him over the PA system to come to the customer service counter. The duty manager apologised on behalf of the team, but that coward didn't speak for himself; he just stood there silently looking defiant, resentful and sullen at all once, when I gave him a dressing-down. "Not doing your customer service job properly was your first mistake; I knew what you wanted me to do to make your life easier, but I'd already politely and unambiguously declined twice, and told you I was staying my path. Lying to me to derail me from that was your second and bigger mistake. Running away instead of facing the music was your third. Trying to stop us from getting your name by which to identify you was your fourth. Not apologising for all that just now, when you had the opportunity, was the fifth. With each mistake, you just make things worse for yourself," I told him to his face. I then asked the duty manager for the details of how to send a customer complaint to the chain's head office, and also for the name of the offending staff member, right in front of him, so that he would know what was coming next. "Your head office will be hearing from me, giving them this run-down of what happened, from my perspective. If the Customer Service Manager's response is not satisfactory, then I will escalate again. Nobody likes getting chastised for something someone under them has done. Good luck running away from them."

 

Email is a bit passive aggressive as the post above demonstrates that led to someone suffering harm by loosing a job.

I don't think there was anything passive aggressive about that, any more than telling a chess player, "Checkmate in two. Your move."

 

That said, we all chose not just what medium to use to communicate, but with a full knowledge that words matter.

... and I try to carefully choose words that will be impactful.

 

But Gil, when I wrote you a thank you note for the ink samples I won in your PiF, did that mean more than if I’d sent you a PM?

I appreciated your thank-you note and the gesture, and I'm aware it took more time and effort, and cost more in material and postage, than sending an electronic message.

 

However, since you framed the question as specifically about meaning... I suspect it meant more to you that you chose to do the former instead of the latter, than it did to me. I don't do things for, or in other words to "earn", gratitude; although I sometimes do things out of gratitude, so I can intellectually understand it. My giving is made more meaningful when the recipients use what I gave — for testing and experimentation, for information gathering, for everyday applications or for pleasure — instead of discarding or shelving it. The acknowledgement of receipt and expression of thanks by recipients of another ink sample giveaway are just as meaningful to me; as is this, or even just being informed, in the open and/or by private message, that an item given away is getting some use.

 

Seeing Kelli "Mountain of Ink" McCown's reviews of the ink samples I sent her, and knowing that in reviewing the inks it has helped her (and others) decide what to buy next, is meaningful and delightful to me, more so than acknowledgement of my "contribution" by name or some gesture in reciprocity. I never saw any of this as being personal in nature (or that it should be).

 

I'm genuinely sorry if that disappoints you.

Edited by A Smug Dill

I endeavour to be frank and truthful in what I write, show or otherwise present, when I relate my first-hand experiences that are not independently verifiable; and link to third-party content where I can, when I make a claim or refute a statement of fact in a thread. If there is something you can verify for yourself, I entreat you to do so, and judge for yourself what is right, correct, and valid. I may be wrong, and my position or say-so is no more authoritative and carries no more weight than anyone else's here.

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Good point. He'll send an email and get me fired...LOL!!

"Respect science, respect nature, respect all people (s),"

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Good point. He'll send an email and get me fired...LOL!!

not trying to get on anyone's bad side but purged my profile of any possibly identifying information, just in case..... :huh:

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not trying to get on anyone's bad side but purged my profile of any possibly identifying information, just in case..... :huh:

 

So, the poor lad is lethal? :crybaby:

"Respect science, respect nature, respect all people (s),"

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So, the poor lad is lethal? :crybaby:

I dont have any beef with anyone except myself trying to come to grips with what type of online privacy is right for me. You dil everyone is my friend - I give everyone the benefit of the doubt

 

As far as esties Ive got a bunch of different color Js, dollars but m2 is my fav. My fav nibs are 9112 italic 9550 extra fine and 9128 extra fine flex. Maybe I have a bias against the modern esties but its not firmly entrenched and not founded on any personal experience

 

By the way getting back to my previous question: dont you think slowing down the post office is a pretty chicken shirt thing to do?

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He'll send an email and get me fired...LOL!!

So, the poor lad is lethal? :crybaby:

 

 

As I said upfront, I didn't intend for him to lose his job altogether; I only wanted a relatively fade-resistant mark placed on his employee record. Getting him fired is akin to aiming to kneecap someone (and 'telegraphing' that it was coming to him), but inadvertently severing his artery in the process and he bled out. It was a mistake on my part, and I'm not actually proud of my lack of precision and botching the execution. However, my 'fail' there goes to prove that email is powerful, sometimes more powerful than can be easily contained by the sender's intent.

 

Whether the impact would have been more precisely delivered and the HR outcome more controlled, had I written the letter of complaint by hand and sent it in the post, I guess we'll never know.

I endeavour to be frank and truthful in what I write, show or otherwise present, when I relate my first-hand experiences that are not independently verifiable; and link to third-party content where I can, when I make a claim or refute a statement of fact in a thread. If there is something you can verify for yourself, I entreat you to do so, and judge for yourself what is right, correct, and valid. I may be wrong, and my position or say-so is no more authoritative and carries no more weight than anyone else's here.

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Mate, that he got fired may have had little to do with you. It could be that they had other problems with the individual and the event with you may have been one too many.

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By the way getting back to my previous question: dont you think slowing down the post office is a pretty chicken shirt thing to do?

Yes it is.

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I have a few pen pals that I need to write back. With the post office all screwed up I am leery now to send them but I am afraid that if we don't use the mail system it will fall.

:happycloud9:

 

Cathy L. Carter

 

Live. Love. Write.

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I have a few pen pals that I need to write back. With the post office all screwed up I am leery now to send them but I am afraid that if we don't use the mail system it will fall.

 

I wouldn't hesitate. I've been writing to my pen pals regularly throughout the the summer (domestic and foreign), and no letters have failed to get to their destinations. I can't say I've particularly noticed any slow down with first class mail.

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I wouldn't hesitate. I've been writing to my pen pals regularly throughout the the summer (domestic and foreign), and no letters have failed to get to their destinations. I can't say I've particularly noticed any slow down with first class mail.

That is great to hear! Write on!

:happycloud9:

 

Cathy L. Carter

 

Live. Love. Write.

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Yes Cathy! I need to answer more of my backlog. Life has been uneventful, but I have new pens so something to talk about. Your letters inspired me to buy a bottle of Private Reserve Arabian Rose.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So far I've sent off about 165 letters since January 1st. The covid has slowed international mail. A letter from South Africa took 5 months and letter from France took 3 months. I do think international mail is speeding up a little now. As an avid letter writer I am completely apposed to the U.S.P.S. slowdown.

 

I would like to mention a website that I find really enjoyable. It is 'A World of Snail Mail' members of the forum are from Europe, Canada, The U.S.A., Canada and Australia. It is a fun site made up of people with a wide range of interests and all brought together with a common love of letter writing. I really don't feel we have to lament the disappearance of the hand written letter, we just need to encourage more people to write. I just gave my grandson a fountain pen, now to write him a letter and encourage him to reply!!

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So far I've sent off about 165 letters since January 1st. The covid has slowed international mail. A letter from South Africa took 5 months and letter from France took 3 months. I do think international mail is speeding up a little now. As an avid letter writer I am completely apposed to the U.S.P.S. slowdown.

 

I would like to mention a website that I find really enjoyable. It is 'A World of Snail Mail' members of the forum are from Europe, Canada, The U.S.A., Canada and Australia. It is a fun site made up of people with a wide range of interests and all brought together with a common love of letter writing. I really don't feel we have to lament the disappearance of the hand written letter, we just need to encourage more people to write. I just gave my grandson a fountain pen, now to write him a letter and encourage him to reply!!

 

Based on my anecdotal data (N=10-12 pieces of mail per week), delivery times between Central Europe and the US is running at present about 6-8 days (i.e., pretty much normal), which is a significant improvement from April, when it was running about 4-6 weeks. Delivery in both directions (on a 95% confidence statistical basis) has been essentially the same. I don't send many parcels, but I understand the variance is higher with parcel post, and if customs gets involved, all bets are off...

 

Whatever the issue was, it seems to have been solved, as nearly as I am able to tell.

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Not to derail the conversation but I saw an interesting quote yesterday:

 

"Letter writing is the only device for combining solitude with good company" -Lord Byron

...............................................................

We Are Our Ancestors’ Wildest Dreams

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Not to derail the conversation but I saw an interesting quote yesterday:

 

"Letter writing is the only device for combining solitude with good company" -Lord Byron

What a lovely quote!

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Not to derail the conversation but I saw an interesting quote yesterday:

 

"Letter writing is the only device for combining solitude with good company" -Lord Byron

 

 

He didn't know anything Internet-connected personal computing devices and FaceSpace.

I endeavour to be frank and truthful in what I write, show or otherwise present, when I relate my first-hand experiences that are not independently verifiable; and link to third-party content where I can, when I make a claim or refute a statement of fact in a thread. If there is something you can verify for yourself, I entreat you to do so, and judge for yourself what is right, correct, and valid. I may be wrong, and my position or say-so is no more authoritative and carries no more weight than anyone else's here.

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