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Social Media Meets Written Correspondence


Kolagnostos

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One of the things I love about tangible written correspondence is how slow it is. Writing, waiting, and getting to know someone over time. I tend to not include internet blogs, websites, or handles that lead to more of 'me' or my interests. I mean, otherwise just be an online mouse-pal.

 

Social media is the opposite. It gives you buckets of information all at once, and visuals galore. There is no waiting or learning about someone gradually. FB, leads to Twitter, to Instagram, to Pinterest, and on and on. Handles lead to Google searches and before you know it, in 15 minutes you make snappy judgements without putting any of the effort that writing letters over times takes.

 

Don't get me wrong, it has its uses and benefits. There ARE things I want to look up quickly to make judgement calls on. But when it comes to signing on to correspond via letter, I tend not to ask my correspondents for online info and I don't give any either. I prefer to know someone on a more real level instead of an online persona, and vise versa.

 

Many people can be good friends despite the things they believe/have/do that are different from us. To know all those up front causes us to draw back. Human nature. So I don't want others or myself to be tempted to do that prematurely.

 

Does anyone else keep their paper and virtual friendships separate for this reason?

Edited by Kol288
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I don't have Facebook now, but used to. When one of my pen pals added me, our letters became shorter and shorter, as we had nothing new to share. Everything had already been shared on FB. You see your pen pal's pictures, status updates, news, etc... every day and then there's nothing exciting about getting a letter, as it's just a repetition of all what you've seen.

For this and other reasons I'm not on social networks, and I keep in touch with my friends in the old way :)

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Well, this is an interesting topic. I do have scoail media accounts (arg), and regularly consider FB suicide. Some old friends I could find back via these vehicles are the only thing that keeps me there nowadays, but I am sidetracking.

 

I have some correspondents who share the FP passion with me, especially via fora (this one and a French language one). Because the fora are focused on a specific topic, it does not limit the interest of the letters. In one case, it adds to it as we discussed behaviours, social and personal impact of the Homo Informaticus, etc

 

I can see though that sharing FB information and writing letters do not match very well. That is probably why intuitively we never made the step with my snail mail correspondent. I could now articulate the reasons why should the question arise, thanks!

 

I hope this helps :)

.

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I'm on FB, and every time I log in I wonder why -- I feel like my IQ is dropping 20 points between the click bait and people posting about what they're having for dinner.... Or else I just get angry at the stupid (I had to unfriend someone awhile back because I got tired of the vile stuff he spewed -- but *I* was accused of being a net troll because I didn't have a photo avatar up (AND dared to disagree with the spew...). I didn't need that BS, and all the cute cat photos on the planet didn't disguise his true nature. :(

I'll admit that I don't really write letters, though. But at least on FPN I can have civil discourse. I may disagree with someone's politics, but I know that person and I have this hobby in common.

Ruth Morrisson aka inkstainedruth

"It's very nice, but frankly, when I signed that list for a P-51, what I had in mind was a fountain pen."

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I won't say that all Facebook discourse is worthless, but it doesn't often rise to the level of a thoughtful mail correspondence. It would be sad indeed to stop writing letters and instead communicate over Facebook.

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Thank you all for your input. —Some years back I decided for myself that I didn't want to live a life where I needed an audience for everything. It didn't feel normal to me to need constant validation, etc. I had FB and TWTR. So I stopped posting regularly. Then an older family member got a hold of social media and that did it! They seem unable to control themselves, and took no time to learn SM Etiquette (adding unnecessary things to my posts, etc.). It was all I needed to stop posting all together.

 

My accounts are linked to a professional page so I've had to keep them for that. I go on, put my update in and LEAVE. I DO NOT go through the News Reel AT ALL. I've also noticed the difference in FB from what it was years ago. They are really trying to make it a money maker.

 

SM isn't the only concern though. People have Blogs and websites, etc. It's just counter to what postal communication is, it's slow. You have to put in the time. Online sites provide TMI for tangible correspondence. (all my opinion of course)

 

In any case, someone made a good point that I agree with. If you're online sharing a common interest it can certainly work to still write letters. However, sharing the 'goings on' of life, if done online, leave little for a tangible letter update. —Oh how I love snail mail. Not for what it helps me avoid (online stupidity), but for what "IT" adds all on its own. :) I don't think it's normal to love it as much as I do. But then again, Normal is overrated.

 

Some inspiration (beats 140 characters for sure!):

 

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2007/3/australia_post_dad_hug.jpg

 

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2007/3/australia_post_hug.jpg

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Writing by hand is "analog", with everything following something else, in linear order. I believe that we are linear creatures,with linear psyche. "Digital" is our invention, but it is unnatural. .With so much of our world functioning digitally, we become starved for natural "linear-ism". That's why writing by hand feels good.

Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
Zum Augenblicke dürft ich sagen:
Verweile doch, du bist so schön !

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I am pretty selective who I "friend" on FB and other social media. I believe I only have one FP friend who I correspond with via letter. I don't know how much it has affected the length of letters and content, but it is possible. I try to keep the two worlds separate. I have re-connected with people I have not spoken with for decades because of social media. Some of which I was very good friends with. We grew up together. If I want to have a connection with many of them it has to be in the digital realm, as they really don't do snail mail.

Brad

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind" - Rudyard Kipling
"None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try." - Mark Twain

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  • 4 weeks later...

Everyone who knows me knows I correspond by hand. Emails and texts are limited to things like "10-4," "just leaving," and "no." Anything longer than that but shorter than a full-blown letter: I write it by hand, take a picture, and text or email the note as an attachment. I have only one friend who writes letters by hand. As far as I know, I'm the only one who receives handwritten letters from him. The fountain pens, inks, and paper I've bought him probably have something to do with it. I always hope the others will convert to handwriting, but I'm thankful they actually read my letters at all and take time to respond, usually by email or phone call. I use social media for posting photos.

I love the smell of fountain pen ink in the morning.

 

 

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I truly miss writing to people. I'm a word-person. I took typing in high school....on a typewriter. I've always been happiest with a pen in my hand. Unfortunately life, and technology, have put an end to corresponding with people through the mail. I have shelves of paper and a drawer of pens and no outlet. I'm not creative enough to write a novel. I love Facebook as it allows me to see that people I came to care about are still doing well, even if they have long since forgotten why I was on their friends list.

In the end only kindness matters

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I hate facebook. From me that's a very extreme statement but it's true.

 

I have relatives on fb so I create an account and then delete it when I can't stand it any more. "I've had the worst headache ever!" "It's Tuesday. You know what that means. Sushi night!!!" "The cat just ate the canary. Oh no!" You get the picture.

 

A pen pal or two might be a good idea.

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

The Dalai Lama

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I seem to have been spared the minutia from the people in my feed. Occasional drama, to be sure. My issue with FB was all the closet racists reposting how refugees are paid more than pensioners and that sort of (bleep). I've blocked so many of them that some days there are less than 10 posts on my wall. I'm ok with that. I use Twitter as my news feed. Love twitter. I just mailed my first letter in over 15 years. Felt good. Not so sure how the recipient will feel.

Edited by Goingbuddha

In the end only kindness matters

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There are quite a few groups on facebook for finding penpals. Some better than others, and some seem to attract those wanting more than just penfriendship.

 

I use Facebook to share stuff with family around the world. I do also have a few penpals added. One of my online friends from another hobby does post mundane housework stuff, but even the seemingly mundane can be exciting/interesting.

!

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  • 2 weeks later...

The first letter I have mailed in decades was to Tom Hanks. I saw him on CBS Sunday Morning a couple weeks before talking about his collection of typewriters so I typed a letter and sent it to him. Seeing him on TV was the final nudge I needed to buy a typewriter so I let him know it.

 

Now I need a Pen pal or two.

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

The Dalai Lama

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  • 2 months later...

Interesting topic!

 

I have many pen pals, and am active on Facebook as well.

 

As far as keeping paper and virtual friendship separate- I see there are enough advantages and disadvantages, to the point where I have no preference. If my pen pal sends me a “Friend Request” on Facebook, I totally accept that. If they prefer to keep the Facebook separate from correspondence, I respect that. Well- I don’t really look for people anyway- I tend to wait until others send me FR. Since my name is relatively uncommon, it is easy for others to find me.

 

I initially joined Facebook, back in 2010, because that was the best way to stay/ get in touch with my coworkers and negotiate re. work schedule. Then I got into some of the games, and- back in those days, adding other players as “friends” send to be the only way to exchange stuff or collaborate on projects. Then some of my personal friends and family members found me there. I got into hobby groups, including fountain pen lovers’ groups and pen pal groups, as well, somewhere along the line.

 

I post a lot of pics on Facebook, mostly from my travels, pen shows, and random “funny stuff”. It is one of the best advantages of my pen pals being my Facebook friends, as it is the easiest way to share pics. I am as guilty as many others for reposting cute/ funny cat and other animal video clips.

 

At the same time, I don’t post every details of my daily life, and I stay away from drama and political stuff. All my posts are totally G-rated, partly because- in addition to my coworkers, my in-laws are there as well LOL!

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