Esties... These Pens Suck

[Keith with a capital K]

tap tap tap

 

Is this microphone on?

 

I believe that I have finally seen the light and now agree with Rob that Esterbrooks are surely no better than a fourth tier pen.

 

This recent craziness over them is unwarranted and I think people should stop buying them or even looking at them.

 

Seriously, the nibs are good but there's no gold content and unless you're lucky you aren't even going to find a semi flex nib let alone a flexible one. Even Wearevers can come with some really nice 14k flexible nibs.

 

Esterbrooks are so pedestrian in their trim levels...sure that chrome never wears out but it's still just chrome.

 

Comparably priced Sheaffers have gold filled hardware and 14 k nibs. Wait...you don't want those pens either since besides the better trim they're also pretty pedestrian and one might be embarrassed to be carrying something so plain in their pocket. Sure they work but where's the "bling"?

 

You really don't want to buy another Esterbrook. They spoil you for fancier pens and distract people from expanding their collections into any other areas.

 

Stop buying them now... please.

 

Start looking at Wearevers...they have pretty celluloids and sometimes even have gold nibs.

 

You really don't want an Esterbrook.

 

I'm gonna toss mine out.

 

Except for this copper one.

 

Wow...that's pretty.

 

Ahem.

 

Forget I said that... the pretty part.

 

I'll be happy to dispose of any unwanted Esterbrooks for you because they're...um...toxic!

 

Yeah...that's it.

 

Send them to me immediately, I will dispose of them at no charge as a public service to ensure the safety of ourselves and our children.

 

Thank you.

 

Keith

[Keith with a capital K]

Don't forget the children...

[Elaine]

I agree. The pens lack imagination. After all there are no Esterbrooks honoring great figures of the past. No DNA, no Marilyn Monroe lipstick, no pieces of Shakespeare’s Mulberry Tree, no pieces of Babe Ruth's bat, no nothing! And those nibs, they screw right out! What good is that?

 

I have to say I'm sorry for my part in this new Esterbrook fad. To make up for it, I'll join Keith in the "save people from buying Esterbrooks" campaign. In fact, I'll help with the disposal of the ones you may already have bought. Hey Keith, I'll even take that copper one off your hands. All my copper Esties would have a party with it. I mean, what Esties, I don't own no stinkin Esties. My icon? uh, gee how'd that get there. Who put that silly icon there?

 

Elaine

[Brian Anderson]

I agree Keith, but let's make it easier for these fine folks here to dispose of them. I'll serve as the US repository of them, that way they can make their way quicker to someone who "doesn't" want them.

 

Brian Anderson

724 N Harriman St....

 

Best-

Brian (dreamt about twistfillers last night and I'm going to the flea market this morning, what are the chances???)

[Keith with a capital K]

Mr Anderson, You are a well known pusher of these pens and I could only surmise that if people were to send their Esties to you, then they would either end up feeding your own addiction or that you would cause other people to become addicted by passing them along to the unwary.

[KendallJ]

transparent, awfully transparent. Now, if you were to start posting a lot more about wearevers, then maybe it woudl be a better diversion

 

[kjervin]

So Keith,

 

Tell me what else to stay away from..........

 

Kj

 

[Keith with a capital K]

Besides those old scruffy Esterbrooks and early 50's Sheaffers, I'd probably be worried about the fumes from old hard rubber Watermans too.

 

It's probably best that we add those Watermans to the list of pens I'll help dispose of.

 

Let's not forget those English made Relief pens...

[Guest Denis Richard]

I'd like to add the over-rated Eversharp.... Sheezzz... you don't want to put up with using those things.

 

To be on the safe side, I would recommend that you add (right now !) the following option in your EBay searches : "-Eversharp".

 

I'll also sacrifice and volunteer to be the U.S. Point Of Contact for the Eversharp destruction project.

[Keith with a capital K]

Good catch Denis....

 

Those Moire Skylines are bad pens.

 

I know how busy you're gonna get taking care of the 5th Ave disposals so will take on the disposal of the Skylines.

 

Don't forget those Esties though.

[Cam]

Keith -- I don't mind taking on the UK-made Esterbrooks (you know, the ones with the 'bendy' nibs). I mean, I'm here anyway ...

[Keith with a capital K]

Yeah...what's up with that?

 

Nibs that bend.

 

You'd think that a company could at least make nibs that would be firm enough to stand up to daily use and put down a consistent line instead of those variable widths you get from those bendy things.

 

I just realized that there is another pen model that could really spoil people for better things... without a doubt...stay away from these. I know people that have become so addicted they have hundreds of them and won't use anything else.

 

Is it any wonder some high end pen makers are suffering when these cheapies are out there in relative abundance? Those guys working at Mont Blanc have kids ya know.

 

http://members.shaw.ca/feynn/FPN/marble.jpg

[AlexS]

While your sending Keith all your crummy Esterbrooks you migh as well send me your exceedingly boring Parker 51s. As we know from the so-called 51 appreciation thread these pens are so boring that owning one is the only known cure for stylomania. And to top everything off you will probably go blind trying to see where the nib is on the paper if you actually try to write with one.

 

AlexS

[Gerry]

Just thought that an update was in order considering that the Cabal is 'official' now with a real home etc.

 

While Brian is of course the Moderator and our fearless leader, he has I'm afraid, already sacrificed too much for his own good. Having risked his health and sanity trying to rid the world of these pesky little critters, we have I'm afraid, put him in mortal danger.

 

This is where faithful assistants come in, and like all true servants of the faith, I hereby offer myself to the gods of fate by volunteering to take over from Brian as the disposal centre for these evil and addictive little fifth tier (thanks Rob) monstrosities.

 

I will particularly dedicate myself to the eradication of all those horrible Relief creations, but will not turn away any J, SJ, LJ, or other (shudder) Esterbrook.

 

Remember the children... (great line Keith)

 

Best

 

Gerry

[Brian Anderson]

I will particularly dedicate myself to the eradication of all those horrible Relief creations, but will not turn away any J, SJ, LJ, or other (shudder) Esterbrook.

 

Gerry, these Relief pens are horrible creations and you should have your fair share. I'll take responsibility for those despicable ones that don't even have a filling system. After all, who'd want a pen you'd have to fill with an eyedropper? That gets all messy.

 

Best-

Brian

[Psyktek]

Gosh, I hesitate to volunteer my services to this noble cause, but, ever willing to do my "bit" I have earmarked a number of these filthy devices on eBay.

 

Lord willing, I can do my small part to rid the civilized world of these monstrosities.

 

(And I'm willing to scour the earth for nibs, too! So there!) :meow:

[Mike]

My fellow pen nuts, I write to you today at a momentuous precipice of history. Today, coalition forces led by Keith, and others, are poised to roll across the free world and liberate people from their Esterbrooks, Sheaffers, and Wearevers. The only way to triumph over the tyrrany of people who have more fountain pens than we do is by spreading freedom far and wide - freedom from worthless, fourth-tier fountain pens with boring steel bendy nibs.

 

I will not lie to you; the going will not be easy. Along the way will be many evil men and women who will try to tempt our forces with precious resin, gold nibs, and custom lacquer. To them we say - bring it on. You are either with us, or against us. Yet despite these merchants of fear, terror, and Osimiroids, I believe that by and large the people of pendom will greet our advancing forces with cheering, and hugs, and kisses, and flowers, but above all with their Esterbrooks.

 

To them, I say the following: Do not fear us. We are here for your own good. We are not here for your children, or your wives, or your husbands; we are not here for your rollerballs, or felt-tip markers, or your ballpoints, however nice they may be. We are here for your Esterbrook, Sheaffer, and Weaerver fountain pens. Resistance is futile. When you see a coalition pen collector, take your pen, make sure it is unloaded, and with the cap posted, hold it loosely in your outstretched right hand, nib towards you. Bulk ammunition and loose cartridges may be carried in your left hand. Approaching coalition forces in this manner will ensure that your intentions are not misunderstood and will enable our pen nuts to more easily and conveninently relieve you of your worthless schlock. If you should know of a stockpile, cache, or store of pens too large to carry, please remove a representative sample and bring it to coalition forces, with directions on where to locate the stash; it will be quickly made safe and removed by our highly-trained experts, and there may be a token reward for those who help identify such locations.

 

In a few hours' time, forces will commence the first phase of operations, "Cash and Carry". Even now, men and women from many nations are surrounding the international airport, the pen convention, and strategic flea-markets and swap markets to the south, to the east, to the west, and to the north, some. For the last several hours, aircraft have been dropping humanitarian aid behind enemy lines - medium-point blue biros, and unsharpened yellow eraserless golf pencils. God bless us all, and remember, vote Raving Loony! Goodnight!

 

<applause>

 

[southpaw]

Mike - that's just too good!!! Sign me up! :ph34r:

[WriterNat]

I'd like to add the over-rated Eversharp.... Sheezzz... you don't want to put up with using those things.

 

I'll also sacrifice and volunteer to be the U.S. Point Of Contact for the Eversharp destruction project.

Sorry sir, my homely old brown & gold Eversharp (AKA the "butt-ugly Eversharp" often referenced in my posts) is staying firmly planted in my inky little hand!

 

Would love to help relieve someone of their copper Estie, though...they seem especially toxic. Mine is blue and no, you can't have it either!

[Psyktek]

Since agreeing to join this valiant cause, I have liberated several pens and assorted nibs from the poor unfortunates possessing them. After explaining their aesthetic danger, they willingly surrendered their burdens.

 

Only minor damage to my credit card was sustained.

 

"The FPN Esterbrook Forum certifies that no pens were injured in the writing of this message."