Wow - who'd have thought anyone even noticed
OK - starting from the bottom up (literally and metaphorically) and in detail - so if anyone else asks please refer them here
Some of you are aware of the culling of the Murphy Clan that took place over the last couple of years. This did nothing for my appetite!
Since then I dropped around 3 stone in weight (for the metrically minded I believe that equates to about 47 hectolitres/m2).
As I had been overweight, I was happy enough with that
Her Ladyship, however, was suspicious!
Nagged me to our local Doctor.
He was suspicious.
He said "You shall see Professor Gleeson - for He is a Mighty Personage - with Tubes"
Professor Gleeson poked about, muttered, pondered, and then pronounced "You have Orifices..."
Said I "WHAT!!!!!"
Said he "...and I shall insert Tubes into each and every one of them, in search of An Galar Úafásach. Come into the Hospital where you will be completely under my Power."
Then "I notice you do not glow in the dark! I shall Scan you within an inch of your life!"
Arriving at the Hospital, I was Recorded, Scrutinised, Poked, Prodded, Tested, and Instructed to provided Samples of Unmentionable things (it would seem they are collectors of such things, much as we collect pens!).
Clad only in someone's cast-off paper tablecloth, I was (understandably) not fully on guard!
Before I knew what was happening I was slipped what our Transatlantic Friends call a "Mickey Finn".
Came to, and was told to go home, but to See the Professor in His Rooms
* I have, in the interest of brevity (-ish), condensed some of the comings and goings.
In The Professors Rooms:
"Do you see this" - producing a small sketch of a Murphy, complete with arrows.
- Gall Stones
- Degeneration of disk between L4 and L5 (non-progressive)
- Chronic Bronchitis
- Very low Iron levels
- Very low Folic Acid levels
- Slightly elevated Cholesterol level
- Coeliac Disease"
In a rare moment of wit, I replied "Thank Heavens! I thought you were going to tell me I had Dandruff!"
At least it brought a grin to his face.
So there it is folks. A load of sily stuff, but NOT An Galar Úafásach. I came away relieved, but a little bewildered (although bewildered is my normal mental state anyway
Murphy Towers is fine, Ernst is well enough (although that may well change) and business will be resumed as soon as possible.
Thank you folk for even bothering to ask.