Men vs. Women - FP Use

[KCat]

So... a comment in the "does the pen make the man/woman" thread made me want to bring this up. I did this years ago on acpp and it resulted in flame wars.

 

But my question is this - in your experience, have you seen mostly men or women who either used FPs or recognized your FP? What do you think the split is in the general population. Let's say Western population because use in many Eastern populations is still common in primary schools.

 

My husband is sort of a "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" guy. Not to the extreme of being a crotch-scratching, spitting, Neanderthal. But nonetheless, you'll never see him wearing a pink dress shirt or shoes that are anything other than black or white. He's Dockers and short-sleeved oxfords all the way. So, his impression is that only "phoofey" men use FPs and that it's mostly women who are interested in them. He doesn't frequent any of these boards and see the conflict in that opinion, his opinion is solely based on that bit of prejudice against "phoofey" (and I don't mean gay) men. Metrosexuals I suppose is a good description of how he perceives men who use FPs. Of course, a pen show would quickly dispel that. In fact, a lot of the faces I've seen in pen show pics, remind me of him!

 

He sees that in my family it is all the females who are fascinated by writing instruments of all sorts (conveniently ignoring my brother who is on the constant search for the perfect notepad and the perfect mechanical pencil and who is anything but a metrosexual.) Therefore, if it's just myself, my daughter, mum and sister who yammer on about pens all the time with my father (another non-pink guy) sitting on the fringes shaking his head and watching the football game, then it must be mostly women in Western society who have an interest in FPs.

 

so.. guys and gals, what do you think? is the apparent "mostly men" that we see on the boards due to the fact that "mostly men" are into pen forums while the typical female FP user is probably not interested in obsessing on-line about these things? Or is it really as unequal as it appears? Do women just prefer to talk amongst themselves about pens? I know for a while I didn't use other pen boards because there was a strong sense of a "good ol' boy" network, women being a minority to say the least.

 

what's the deal?

[French]

Hi KCat,

 

I'm a "non-pink" guy, but I do have a purple shirt with black and grey stripes that my wife bought for me. I wear that shirt. I'm into fountain pens, mainly because I like how they write, they are different, and fun. I would like to think I'm a "manly-man", having served for 8 years in the US Army, fathered 2 wonderful children, and done a lot of the yard/home improvement work at my house.

 

From the posts I've read and emails I've shared with other men on the forum, I think a lot are similar to me. Just guys who like fountain pens partly because the pens are 'cool' and partly because I just have too much technology in my life, I long for some simpler things.

 

I could be way off the mark here. Maybe I'm phoofy and don't know it. Arghhh

 

hope this helped to clarify the mud...

 

french

[Betty]

Great topic! I've thought about this before.

 

My answer would like to say men seem to be more interested in the high-end pens...most pen stores I walk into...the customers are mostly men. But that might be because there are more executive mens and therefore they spend more on the higher up pens to complete the look? I would say that for $200, most women would probaby prefer to buy a nice bag or outfit?

 

When it comes to a the cheaper disposable but still nice kind of pens, I think women are interested more in those than those high end pens.

 

:ph34r: I think most of the higher-end pens are more manly looking and also sized for a man's hand :ph34r:

 

Don't flame me ladies

[Michael Wright]

My experience in NZ is mostly watching students writing. I'd say probably more women than men use FPs, in the undergraduate age group, but not by a huge proportion. It's maybe even more of a social-status group thing than a gender thing, and there are all sorts of complex interactions there that are specific to NZ and that I don't fully understand. But when I use an FP out and about, it's very much more likely that a woman will make a comment than a man.

 

My impression of on-line pen groups is that relative to the net norm, women are much more visible in the pen thing than other interest groups (women in watch forums? Slashdot? :ltcapd:

I think I know the board KCat is referring to, and that got itself an ethos of male rivalry and tussle in a "friendly," "just joshing" mode which hacks me off, too.

 

Best

 

Michael

[SimonWang]

:ph34r: I think most of the higher-end pens are more manly looking and also sized for a man's hand :ph34r:

too right, I agreed :ltcapd:

[Ray]

In the work environment, women notice my pens more often than men do. But in my experience, women tend to be more interested in and respectful of interests which are not their own than are men.

 

Ray (Hetero hubby and father, but not over-defensive about it!)

[Velma]

In my experience, there have been more women who are into fountain pens (or pens in general), who are willing to admit it. But the men who are into the right pens are as intensely into them, if not more so.

 

I'm at lunch in the office, and looking around/remembering, there are two men on staff who use fountain pens (Ron, who has high-end Mont Blancs that he never takes out of his house, and Larry, who always carries a matched pair -- fountain and ballpoint/rollerball -- with him; he's here once or twice a week, and I always check in with him to see what he's carrying, usually a pair of Phileases), and three women who use them and carry them regularly, plus one who uses purple disposable Pilot fountain pens when she can get them. There are also five women who are fanatical devotees of the Pilot Hi-Tec-C gel pens (self included), but no men who are as focused on which pen they carry/use.

[southpaw]

Hmmm . . . prefer cowboy boots, blue jeans, and t-shirts here, but really enjoy FPs and have a couple of pink dress shirts (and some purple ones too). OTOH, I would really like to have a Harley Davidson, prefer 4wd pickups, and thoroughly enjoy target shooting, walking in the woods, snow & water skiing, and other sports and have fathered two children. Also have 30 bottles of ink + 3 more on the way. No idea what all this means in the grand scheme of things or if it helps or not.

 

As far as who notices - so far, only two comments really, one by a 10 year old boy and the other by the lady at the mail counter.

[Gerry]

Well, here's our pen club (in 2005) with 15 men, three women. Scroll down the page a bit for the group picture - click to enlarge, and let me know how many make your definition of phoofey.

 

http://www.ottawafountainpensociety.org/

 

Gerry

 

PS:better not pick me kiddo!!! <_<

 

Edit: since the picture was taken, two of the women have left, and three of the men (and we gained three of four men not shown). Most of the losses were due to relocations - like JT.

Edited March 15, 2006 by Gerry

[GrantC]

My husband is sort of a "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" guy. Not to the extreme of being a crotch-scratching, spitting, Neanderthal. But nonetheless, you'll never see him wearing a pink dress shirt or shoes that are anything other than black or white. He's Dockers and short-sleeved oxfords all the way. So, his impression is that only "phoofey" men use FPs and that it's mostly women who are interested in them.

 

Well, I know what MY wife would say to me under similar circumstances: "Yes dear, Real Men don't eat quiche. Of course, they don't wear Dockers, either."

 

Just for the data point: I'm a professional gunsmith, competitive shooter, combat rifle instructor, avid outdoorsman, but have also been in less "manly" professions - accountant, professional photographer, musician, watch and clockmaker, and corporate management. Yes, I use fountain pens - because they're a superior tool. After all, as everyone knows, REAL MEN love tools!

 

:roflmho:

 

-=[ Grant ]=-

Edited March 15, 2006 by GrantC

[DRP]

I'm about to make a complete over-generalization, something that I don't like to do but I have to start somewhere .....

 

As a generalization, men are interested in the fountain pens, themselves: how they are made, what they are made with, type of workmanship, etc. Fountain pens are tools. Like any tool, men are interested in their structure. Note the discussion of stylo pens elsewhere in the "Writing Instrument" section.

 

Women tend to be more interested in the appearance of fountain pens. Their style, their visual appeal, the tactile characteristics of holding one.

 

Now, I'll proceed by shooting at my own generalizations. Read the types of comments written by women and you'll see cogent quotes and questions by women about workmanship. Read comments by men and you'll see thoughtful remarks about the beauty and artistry of particular pens.

 

It is impossible to really distinguish much of a gender difference. There may be one but it may not be all that significant. Anybody want to comment on that?

 

The one generalization I will make and stand behind is that people who use and enjoy fountain pens pay attention to things. They are thoughtful, probably rank higher in analytical skills than the general population, and don't let things get by them easily.

 

Anybody want to comment on my last observation? Would like to hear the thoughts of others.

 

David

[KCat]

(little snippage)

From the posts I've read and emails I've shared with other men on the forum, I think a lot are similar to me.  Just guys who like fountain pens partly because the pens are 'cool' and partly because I just have too much technology in my life, I long for some simpler things.

 

I could be way off the mark here.  Maybe I'm phoofy and don't know it.  Arghhh

 

hope this helped to clarify the mud...

 

french

heh.. thanks for your input French.

 

Certainly I know that my hubby's perception is skewed based on lack of participation. Most of the time it really is said in jest so he's not really putting anyone down in the pen community. It's his smart alek way of saying "I don't understand this interest/obsession" - but he has his own obsessions. He once told me if I collected mechanical pencils he would understand that! I might, for example, make fun of women who have 100s of pairs of shoes because I simply can't relate to that obsession. That's what I really meant to point out WRT hubby. Truth is, his best friend is very interested in Calligraphy and he wouldn't even begin to describe that friend as "phoofey."

 

But the real purpose of my discussion about how he perceives FP interest was to try to determine just how the population falls because it's hard to get an accurate perception of it just through these forums. I don't go to shows. I don't hang out with a pen club. And even those don't allow for a full picture - after all, if I don't go, how many other women don't attend these things?

 

OTOH, it isn't accurate to take a survey on-line because we know that the type of person who is heavily into the Internet hobby discussions is not necessarily representative of all FP folks. Probably a lot of FP folks hold great disdain for computers for that matter. But I really want to know if *you* (you, French, and anyone else here) perceive this hobby as dominated by men or women and if so, why you think that is?

 

edited for getting the name wrong! Duh.

Edited March 15, 2006 by KCat

[KCkc]

Same experience here KCat...

Only my mom and I talk/use/test/clean pens while my brother and dad watch TV during my last trip. My mom have no clue how to repair pens. But she can tell what is a sweet nib or nice cursive italic just by writing with it.

 

My brother and dad knows pens but they do not use or talk about them much.

 

When I am not home, my brother helps repair my moms pens when they are not working. So he's kind of a transparent pen person in a lot of ways.

 

Maybe they are internal processors who just hoards information from magazine or whatever.

[KCat]

PS:better not pick me kiddo!!! <_<

 

Edit: since the picture was taken, two of the women have left, and three of the men (and we gained three of four men not shown). Most of the losses were due to relocations - like JT.

it's really not about looks - as I said, if da Bear were at a pen show, no one would think he was out of place at all. None of you "look" phoofey.

 

But see my note to French re: hubby's reaction as I make him sound much more pink-phobic than he is. This same man does look at my Hardanger work and marvel at it. I think it's really just about him not being able to relate and as with so many things in life, if we don't understand or relate, it's easier just to make fun of it rather than try to comment on it and feel out of your element. For all his joking about "Phoofey" - the guy is the most romantic man I've ever met. He'd kill me if he read this but he has watched Jersey Girl and The Notebook so many times it's ridiculous. Jersey Girl makes him think of his relationship with our daughter, and I think The Notebook speaks to him of the utter devotion he has toward me and his parents had toward each other.

 

BTB, to balance things out, I make fun of his wargaming community. They're all nuts as far as I'm concerned. AR control freaks living in a fantasy world. (ducking as I know there's at least one of 'em here.)

[KCat]

Yes, I use fountain pens - because they're a superior tool. After all, as everyone knows, REAL MEN love tools!

 

:roflmho:

 

-=[ Grant ]=-

yeah - now see, this is why I thought hubby might actually develop some interest in FPs. But I think the ink thing turns him off. He's an engineer and as I said, the mechanical pencil is one of the finest tools known to man from his POV. In fact, when we first met one of the first thing he did was show me this cool new MP he found that had a *side* clicker which was so much faster while he was working than having to click the top of the pen. So I thought, if he saw the mechanical workings of a piston-filler for example, that would interest him. Not entirely sure *why* it doesn't. It isn't because it threatens his masculiinty. When I bought him a Parker flighter just for grins he liked the look of the pen but said "will I have to deal with inking and cleaning it?" Well, only if you use it. "Oh, Okay." So I think this goes really to his desire to keep things as simple as possible because his world is already insane.

[Guest Denis Richard]

My husband is sort of a "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" guy. Not to the extreme of being a crotch-scratching, spitting, Neanderthal. But nonetheless, you'll never see him wearing a pink dress shirt or shoes that are anything other than black or white. He's Dockers and short-sleeved oxfords all the way. So, his impression is that only "phoofey" men use FPs and that it's mostly women who are interested in them. He doesn't frequent any of these boards and see the conflict in that opinion, his opinion is solely based on that bit of prejudice against "phoofey" (and I don't mean gay) men. Metrosexuals I suppose is a good description of how he perceives men who use FPs. Of course, a pen show would quickly dispel that. In fact, a lot of the faces I've seen in pen show pics, remind me of him!

Well... I don't know if real men eat quiche, but they sure don't wear white shoes. No, seriously, you're kidding, right ? White shoes ? :blink: That's very 19th century British dandy.

 

Did you just say Metrosexual ? Is that the thing that encompass everyone in between the ax-wearing warrior and the flamboyant drag-queens ?

 

Seriously, I dunno about the real question you asked. I live in an FP Terra Incognita. Neither men nor women around me seem to notice it.

[KCat]

It is impossible to really distinguish much of a gender difference. There may be one but it may not be all that significant. Anybody want to comment on that?

 

The one generalization I will make and stand behind is that people who use and enjoy fountain pens pay attention to things. They are thoughtful, probably rank higher in analytical skills than the general population, and don't let things get by them easily.

 

Anybody want to comment on my last observation? Would like to hear the thoughts of others.

 

David

There's a little something to this. For hubby he only pays attention to what he feels is really important because, as he says, he has enough on his mind already without cluttering it with useless data. He'd had his Camaro 4 years when my daughter asked him what the lights on the ceiling of the car were (map lights) and he said "huh? I don't know." I don't agree with the analytical part though - i don' tthink he's any less-so than I am or than any man here. But he is less interested in "non-essential" items.

 

But ask him where to locate a particular restaurant - he can get you there. Or what is involved in designing a ground support system for low-earth-orbit flight - he's got it.

 

I don't see the gender differences in terms of attitudes towards FPs. That is, aesthetics vs. function. I see that as pretty consistent - at least among those of us here. What I do think i see is that it seems men want to argue the very finer points of things like repair, restoration, market value, much more so than women do. But again - that view may be skewed by the type of person more likely to join these discussions on the 'net. if you had a group of FP lovers that was 50:50 male & female all in one room talking pens - i wonder what sort of topics would dominate the discussions within the gender groups and between them.

[memphislawyer]

id say more men buy higher end pens than women. there is not much ornamentation that men can acquire that would set them apart, show the status they have reached, and doing so without being affectatious or effiminate. most men in the business world do not wear bracelets, but i do notice nicer suits, ties, shirtings especially, cufflinks, watches, shoes and pens. most men that i deal with dont have more than their wedding ring. i get asked about my shirts and ties more than any other article of clothing. i get noticed on my cufflinks more so than my watches, and my pens when i sign, i will get a question or two (well i have a cartier and it is not seen much but this was before the FP).

 

i do have pink shirts and ties and my wife helps me 90% of the time and i get more compliments from women. id be worried if a guy tells me, "nice pants", lol.

 

sam

[KCat]

Well... I don't know if real men eat quiche, but they sure don't wear white shoes. No, seriously, you're kidding, right ? White shoes ? :blink: That's very 19th century British dandy.

 

Did you just say Metrosexual ? Is that the thing that encompass everyone in between the ax-wearing warrior and the flamboyant drag-queens ?

 

Seriously, I dunno about the real question you asked. I live in an FP Terra Incognita. Neither men nor women around me seem to notice it.

tennis shoes, Denis. Predominantly white with blue stripes.

 

Metrosexuals are straight men that are "not afraid" to be picky about their appearance, get manicures, hair dyes, buy more than 3 pairs of shoes for daily wear, etc.

 

excludes drag queens and ax-wielding warriors.

[Guest Denis Richard]

tennis shoes, Denis. Predominantly white with blue stripes.

Tennis shoes... mmm... I don't think real men wear tennis shoes either.

 

Metrosexuals are straight men that are "not afraid" to be picky about their appearance, get manicures, hair dyes, buy more than 3 pairs of shoes for daily wear, etc. 

 

In less "literary" times, where I come from, we used to just call them men with too much time on their hands and not enough worries.

 

Denis... in a big leg-pulling mood today