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New Prototype....please critique....


bgray

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This is a new treatment of my Herald Pen.

 

Any and all comments appreciated.

 

This is just a prototype and my first shot at this concept with the red lines.

 

Please be honest....you won't hurt my feelings at all.

 

If this is a concept that does not hold interest, than I need to know that, so I don't waste time with it.

 

Thanks a lot!

 

Brian

 

 

 

 

 

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I was thinking 'Very smart & understated' until I saw the bi-coloured nib. The nib's flashy, a bit like an expensive black car with white tyre walls - not quite in keeping to my view.

As for the shape & banding, it does look rather special.

 

Regards

 

Richard.

 

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I think it's a variation on a theme. I like it. It's got that look that's unique to your pens, :happyberet: which isn't a bad thing Brian. I think it's conservative and regarding the nib, I think it's a nice surprise.

 

Good job! :thumbup:

Tom

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I think it looks great, very elegant - and the two-tone nib works fine though perhaps a plain gold nib would have a slight edge for me.

 

I need to have a word with you about a custom job.

 

- Stuart

Rincewind

 

"Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad."

--Rincewind, "Interesting Times"

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Brian, you have done it again. Provoke pen envy in a poor man who cannot afford your lovely work. I remember not that long ago when white wall tires were a sign of quality, and not having them was a negative. Not quite the same with a bicolor nib, but the nib looks fitting with the pen (IMO).

 

Donnie

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

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I love the look and having had a Cartier rolling ring (yellow, white and pink gold) for decades, I love the two-toned nib. You could offer the pen with different nibs for those who don't like the two-toned ones. It's always nice to have a choice, especially since our choices in life are so very limited.

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I like it, Brian; it does a nice job of marrying two fairly unique styles (the rings from the Endura flat-top with the torpedo-shaped pen). Now if you can find some rod-stock that's got some nice color to it...like a nice blue? Oh baby...modern-day Endura-pedo! All you'd need to do before you got the Conklin patent attorneys on your case would be to incorporate an alligator clip!

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1118/726404937_328386ddc6_o.jpg

Brassing Adds Character: Available by clicking on my signature.

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Hi Brian,

this is far more cool than your previous try of parallel grooves! I also find this additional rings help you to differentiate from Sailor KOP, which I find as a designer a positive gain. Two tone nib is just creating good balance. Can you try the other clip you posted some pictures?

Very nice looking pen indeed!

I am still saving and observing positive developments in Herald line!!

Warm regards from Heart of Africa!

Abhik.

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Brian,

It looks real nice...

BUT the only way I can give it a true and accurate review is by actually having it in my hands for an extended period

I will send you my address back channel to make arrangements :rolleyes:

 

Some day I am going to have to get together with you and learn some machining techniques... :thumbup:

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I like the pen -- nicely done! Also agree, somehow a 14 kt. yellow gold Bock nib would give the pen a bit more "zing" (keeping with the old time Conklin-like look you're seeking).

 

Those "breaks" made me wonder what your Menlo syle pen would like with a similar break on the barrel (hmmmm, how about a complimentary colored end-cap on both ends of the pen?). For example, your ebonite with black 'flat-top' ebonite end-caps).

 

Have a good day,

 

Paul

 

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

 

~ Oscar Wilde, 1888

 

http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/7260/postminipo0.pnghttp://img356.imageshack.us/img356/8703/letterminizk9.png

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Brian,

 

I really like the look. As mentioned before it's elegant and understated. I especially like the idea of puting a groove on the top of the cap where the clip is mounted. It's an effective and clean way to get around any misalignment between the two parts of the cap (which otherwise may look a bit off). This type of approach is often used in industrial design.

Another idea (kind of a variation on the theme) would be to have 3 thin rings close together as opposed to just one thin ring espectially on the barrel of the pen and the open end of the cap. You can also very successfully experiment with different ring colors. I think that nice cream (off white) rings would look very sharp (kind of like a Guinness color theme).

 

Cheers,

 

Rrafal

 

 

This is a new treatment of my Herald Pen.

 

Any and all comments appreciated.

 

This is just a prototype and my first shot at this concept with the red lines.

 

Please be honest....you won't hurt my feelings at all.

 

If this is a concept that does not hold interest, than I need to know that, so I don't waste time with it.

 

Thanks a lot!

 

Brian

 

 

 

 

 

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler" - Albert Einstein

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My Pen Club

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Beautiful! I would love it even more if the clip and nib were rhodium/rhodium plated, but that's just me.

Watermans Flex Club & Sheaffer Lifetime Society Member

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I like it a lot. A classic look.

 

It looks like a big time production pen.

 

Now if you could throw on a vintage Waterman's #2 nib or perhaps a Waterman's red or pink nib - WOW!

 

John

so many pens, so little time.......

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Remembering that beauty is in the eye of the beholder....

 

Closed the pen is nearly perfect. The blue color, the elegant curve at both ends, the contrasting colored bands which seem to be a historical reference to Conklin Enduras.

 

It's the open picture that loses me. The gold ring where the barrel meets the section is, to me, like the first violin hitting a clinker. The section itself doesn't look to me like it matches the barrel, either in color (a very minor thing) or in its line/shape. In other words, the 'waist' on the section is too narrow, and doesn't flow in a continous line with the graceful curve of the barrel.

 

Two tone or mono tone nib: you'll get as many different opinions as you get responses. Including mine: either is fine, it's the writing line that matters.

 

I think you need to gear up production for 2008. At the right price point you have a winner.

gary

Edited by gary
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Brian: I basically agree with Rafal: the color combinations available should make this a popular item. Tberry

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It's the open picture that loses me. The gold ring where the barrel meets the section is, to me, like the first violin hitting a clinker. The section itself doesn't look to me like it matches the barrel, either in color (a very minor thing) or in its line/shape. In other words, the 'waist' on the section is too narrow, and doesn't flow in a continous line with the graceful curve of the barrel.

 

Brian,

 

Another handsome line extension! As I've said before, you have a great eye for design. I agree with the notion that the gold band where the barrel meets the section doesn't work for a pen this elegant. You ARE on the right track. Keep up the great work!

 

'Looking forward to getting my pen in a few days (?)! :drool:

 

Best,

 

John

John

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It's the open picture that loses me. The gold ring where the barrel meets the section is, to me, like the first violin hitting a clinker. The section itself doesn't look to me like it matches the barrel, either in color (a very minor thing) or in its line/shape. In other words, the 'waist' on the section is too narrow, and doesn't flow in a continous line with the graceful curve of the barrel.

 

Brian,

 

Another handsome line extension! As I've said before, you have a great eye for design. I agree with the notion that the gold band where the barrel meets the section doesn't work for a pen this elegant. You ARE on the right track. Keep up the great work!

 

'Looking forward to getting my pen in a few days (?)! :drool:

 

Best,

 

John

 

I'm still waiting for the antique gold material. I'm guessing that the holidays have the post office bogged down.

 

Should be out the door by the weekend. If not, I'll let you know!

 

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Well, I like it. I think it's a great variation on the Herald. I am definitely a fan of understated class, rather than flash, and this pen pulls it off nicely.

Fool: One who subverts convention or orthodoxy or varies from social conformity in order to reveal spiritual or moral truth.

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