Should I Throw My Journal Away?

[Citygirl]

I have almost finished a journal which I've been using for the past two years, a nice fancy Paperblanks one which I am reluctant to get rid of. After a discussion with a friend who thinks any negative journalling shouldn't be kept I am now wary of keeping it but I don't want to throw it away and regret it, not just the look of the book but for what is written there aswell, though it is mainly negative and stuff I may not want to reflect back on.

 

If I do throw it away, how can I set up a different, more positive journalling system? I do keep a daily planner that I save to look back on but that is just dates.

[mauckcg]

Do you mean quality of the journaling or what is written in it?

I have a Leuchtturm 1917 notebook that i use as a daily/weekly log depending on how often i write in it. Works pretty well so far.

[Citygirl]

I mean whats written in the journal.

[gmax]

A very similar discussion took place on this thread...

 

https://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/topic/338085-keeping-a-positive-vs-negative-journal/

[Citygirl]

A very similar discussion took place on this thread...

 

https://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/topic/338085-keeping-a-positive-vs-negative-journal/

 

Yes I have seen this. Am still undecided what to do though.

[akrohn2010]

I'd offer (just an opinion, naturally), that you can learn a lot about yourself looking back at the past, even if your journal entries are negative. In my case, I've looked at what I would now consider rather melodramatic entries in past years, and seeing my thoughts written down has helped me to realize how hard it is for me to see things clearly when I'm worried or stressed, and get a better handle on it.

 

I suppose it depends on just how negative your entries are, though. Hope this helps!

[PAKMAN]

I would vote keep it!

[sharonspens]

Since you are undecided, the wisest approach is to keep it. Put it in a safe place so that others won't mess with it, and make yourself a reminder to pull it out on August 1, 2019. If you aren't interested in reading or keeping it at that time, you can decide what to do with it then - keep it another year or destroy it.

 

Sharon in Indiana

[vjones]

Since you are undecided, the wisest approach is to keep it. Put it in a safe place so that others won't mess with it, and make yourself a reminder to pull it out on August 1, 2019. If you aren't interested in reading or keeping it at that time, you can decide what to do with it then - keep it another year or destroy it.

 

Sharon in Indiana

 

I was just about to say the same thing.

 

For what it's worth, I have some journals from 35 years ago. It happens that the ink is fading and they were written in spiral notebooks. There are some pages that are not only negative but lacking in any redeeming value. I tear those out and shred them. I scan the other pages to preserve the info before the ink fades completely, then shred those too.

 

So it doesn't always have to be all or nothing. Obviously this is a less satisfying option in a nice bound notebook with nice paper.

[Citygirl]

 

I was just about to say the same thing.

 

For what it's worth, I have some journals from 35 years ago. It happens that the ink is fading and they were written in spiral notebooks. There are some pages that are not only negative but lacking in any redeeming value. I tear those out and shred them. I scan the other pages to preserve the info before the ink fades completely, then shred those too.

 

So it doesn't always have to be all or nothing. Obviously this is a less satisfying option in a nice bound notebook with nice paper.

 

How do you decide if the entries have no value? What do you class as negative? I do want my journal to reflect my life realistically but I guess there is a difference between pages of ranting or just summing up a situation and how I've dealt with it. I don't think a journal should be sugar coated but then again if its all negative it can stir up those bad feelings again. But I wonder if I throw it out I may regret it later.

[vjones]

 

How do you decide if the entries have no value? What do you class as negative? I do want my journal to reflect my life realistically but I guess there is a difference between pages of ranting or just summing up a situation and how I've dealt with it. I don't think a journal should be sugar coated but then again if its all negative it can stir up those bad feelings again. But I wonder if I throw it out I may regret it later.

 

That's why it helps to wait awhile. Unless you think it's radioactive, you could do what sharonspens suggests and just put it away for a year or two. I think you'll find it easier to evaluate after the passage of some time.

Edited July 29, 2018 by vjones

[JulieParadise]

I would throw it away. But I am not you ... for me personally the act of writing things down, positive & negative, helps me to cope with stuff, let out the bad as much as appreciate the good. After that there is no need for me to keep it. I decided to throw my journals away. Gone & out.

 

I write like that for about 25 years since I am 12, I think, and have thrown away everything. I never regretted it. The mass of the books would be a burden and the fear of someone reading it is another factor.

 

You have to find out if you feel anything like that for yourself, though. From afar it is impossible to give you advice so we can only share opinions and experiences.

[praxim]

About a year ago I reviewed a couple of small notebooks I had kept while at University, in my latter teens. They were written using phonetic symbols so that they could not instantly be read by others; parents, for example. On a short review, I read no further. It is a wonder I am alive today. Given that I am, they have no further function and I do not intend to inflict them on anyone else. They went into paper recycling.

 

So, I implemented sharonspens' excellent advice at an interval of several decades. Discard them the moment you feel they lose relevance for you.

 

Today, I use a journal (amongst other reasons) to release things which might stress me, to reflect reality but not to denigrate myself or others. Nor do I go on being positive. Reality suffices.

 

eta: I keep them now, because at times I write important practical stuff to which I may wish to refer. That material is indexed.

Edited July 29, 2018 by praxim

[TSherbs]

I would throw it away. But I am not you ... for me personally the act of writing things down, positive & negative, helps me to cope with stuff, let out the bad as much as appreciate the good. After that there is no need for me to keep it. I decided to throw my journals away. Gone & out.

 

I write like that for about 25 years since I am 12, I think, and have thrown away everything. I never regretted it. The mass of the books would be a burden and the fear of someone reading it is another factor.

 

You have to find out if you feel anything like that for yourself, though. From afar it is impossible to give you advice so we can only share opinions and experiences.

I agree with JP here. I don't find revisiting my thoughts helpful or growth-oriented. And I spent enough time thinking them the first time. Thinking is akin to suffering. If you want a written record of your thinking, keep it. If you want to grow, throw it out and move on (this is my approach).

[Moonshae]

I'm surprised to find that people go back and read their journals. For me, the act of writing and committing my day to paper is what's important to me. What I've written is for my daughter to read or dispose of as she wishes once I am dead, but I won't do any culling of my writing now; I have no idea what might be meaningful to the reader.

[Studio97]

I have looked back in my older journals and surprised myself at how much I have forgotten and about personal stuff and anything in the universe. Anyone who should read your journal should understand that they have negative days too, no one is exempt. I destroyed one journal and I regret it. And anyone who reads someone's journal, even that of a stranger, is apt to reflect on their own life and learn something about themselves. Throwing away my journals would be like throwing away my life. I have in them my writings, photos, artwork, clippings of things that interests me. You know at least a young girl named Elizabeth is remembered from the 1600s just from her writing her name and the alphabet in a Catechism over 300 years old . To me that's amazing. I want to be remembered even with my faults. I recommend you keep your journals.

I recall an American POW who kept a journal during his captivity by the Japanese during Ww2. Some one stole it a few years back. He was devastated.

Edited July 30, 2018 by Studio97

[inkstainedruth]

I keep mine. If after I'm gone, someone reads them and doesn't like what was said about them, that's on them.

I keep a morning pages journal and I view it as my daily core dump: good, bad, indifferent. Whatever comes into my head goes out on the page. It might be dreams I remember, or ranting about stupid robocalls, or (as in this morning) turned into a rehash of a couple of episodes of TV shows I'd seen, coupled with stuff I did yesterday afternoon and how in one there wasn't actually a resolution to the initial plot, and the facts about the other: I've been sort of binge-watching Genius: Picasso, which I had recorded but hadn't had time to see -- I didn't know, for instance, that he was at one point a suspect in the heist of the "Mona Lisa" from the Louvre! That episode had a blurb at the end about the case. {Given the somewhat salacious slant of both that and its predecessor, Genius: Einstein, I fully expect a season focussing on Frank Lloyd Wright at some point....]

At some point I will take yet another stab at doing The Artist's Way course (which is how I heard about the concept in the first place). In one of the later chapters/weeks, you go back through and reread and note places where you've had break-throughs (that was actually a hard chapter for me to do since I got to that point over Thanksgving that year and was trying to do the exercise in and amongst the bustle of family stuff.

As for Citygirl's dilemma, no one can answer for her but herself (although I do agree with those who say "keep the journal -- at least for now...").

Ruth Morrisson aka inkstainedruth

[knarflj]

Citygirl, I tend to agree with those who say that if you're not sure, wait a bit. I never throw my journals out, but I don't think I'm worried about the contents of any of them. (Mind you, if anyone read them, I'd be furious! )

 

As far as negativity, it might depend on what sort of negative you're talking about. I try to be honest in my journal, but I also try not to say anything that would hurt anyone who might read it after I'm gone. I do believe I have a responsibility to love those around me as best I can, and that includes what I write. If I really felt compelled to rant on paper about someone else's actions (not talking about politicians here, but family and friends), I would do it on something I could throw out immediately.

 

I don't approach my journal this way solely for the benefit of hypothetical others, either (face it, my family may just pitch them all unread someday). I have found that when I'm upset and I focus on what other people did wrong, or how they hurt me, I just get more self-centered, more bitter, more angry, more resentful. If, on the other hand, I focus at these times on what I did wrong, how I might have hurt someone else, or my own reactions to a situation and how I might react better to a similar situation in the future, I quickly get calmer and usually learn something about myself that I hope makes me kinder, more generous, more forgiving, readier to cut other people as much slack as I cut myself. So I try to be hard - negative, if you will - on myself in my journal, but easy on others, partly for their sake, but much more for my own.

 

I don't know whether this focus would help others as it helps me (I really need this kind of help, mind you: I am not naturally a nice person), but for me it is very helpful indeed.

 

Jenny

[Citygirl]

Citygirl, I tend to agree with those who say that if you're not sure, wait a bit. I never throw my journals out, but I don't think I'm worried about the contents of any of them. (Mind you, if anyone read them, I'd be furious! )

 

As far as negativity, it might depend on what sort of negative you're talking about. I try to be honest in my journal, but I also try not to say anything that would hurt anyone who might read it after I'm gone. I do believe I have a responsibility to love those around me as best I can, and that includes what I write. If I really felt compelled to rant on paper about someone else's actions (not talking about politicians here, but family and friends), I would do it on something I could throw out immediately.

 

I don't approach my journal this way solely for the benefit of hypothetical others, either (face it, my family may just pitch them all unread someday). I have found that when I'm upset and I focus on what other people did wrong, or how they hurt me, I just get more self-centered, more bitter, more angry, more resentful. If, on the other hand, I focus at these times on what I did wrong, how I might have hurt someone else, or my own reactions to a situation and how I might react better to a similar situation in the future, I quickly get calmer and usually learn something about myself that I hope makes me kinder, more generous, more forgiving, readier to cut other people as much slack as I cut myself. So I try to be hard - negative, if you will - on myself in my journal, but easy on others, partly for their sake, but much more for my own.

 

I don't know whether this focus would help others as it helps me (I really need this kind of help, mind you: I am not naturally a nice person), but for me it is very helpful indeed.

 

Jenny

 

Jenny, this is very interesting. The journal I am thinking of throwing away does include some negative entries about close friends, resentments about failed relationships and that sort of thing. I am always careful not to rant about family in there as they are the ones who would be sorting my stuff out if anything happened to me. I have recently been feeling bullied at work by a colleague , I am now taking action on this and taking it further. I have ranted in my journal about her at the times that she has upset me. I do write positive things too, this is usually when I am relieved about something or a situation I have worried about has turned out OK.

 

How do you journal without including these kinds of negative entries? I find it hard to keep it solely positive. I guess there is a way of recording what's happened and a brief record of your feelings without ranting but its the ranting that's therapeutic and gets it out of your system.

 

I do want my journals to be something I can look back on and reminisce about and not just stuff that brings back all the bad feelings but then again I don't want it to be just a case of 'Today I did this, that etc'. I do have a planner diary where I write down appointments and keep all of these which give me memories of daily events.

[Sailor Kenshin]

Journal everything ....warts and all.

 

Trying to record only 'positive' entries doesn't work. Or write two separate journals, naming them light and dark, or whatever suits you.