21 Things You'll Understand Only If You're Totally Obsessed With Pens

[Ebberman]

https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/21-things-youll-understand-youre-totally-obsessed-pens/

 

It's a blog, yes, but amusing and informed. You might recognise yourself whilst reading the list.

 

When you go to the webpage you may notice that I've corrected the title. Call me obsessive if you wish, but people don't know how to use the word "only" anymore.

[inkeverywhere]

Pick me!

 

I can identify a fair number of those traits in myself.

 

Lending a pen to a person to watch them chew on it and then return it - what has the world become?

 

 

Greg

[Mr.Rene]

https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/21-things-youll-understand-youre-totally-obsessed-pens/

 

It's a blog, yes, but amusing and informed. You might recognise yourself whilst reading the list.

 

When you go to the webpage you may notice that I've corrected the title. Call me obsessive if you wish, but people don't know how to use the word "only" anymore.

[ParkerDuofold]

Hi Ebberman, et al,

 

I'm guilty as charged... on most counts.

 

What happened?... ...I can remember when I used to be cool.

 

 

- Anthony

[bobje]

What a clever piece!

[amberleadavis]

Now I find that this does not match me at all.

• You practice your handwriting before making a first mark in a new notebook.
  • Absolutely not - I only draw the little lines to make sure I'm using the right pen and ink for my first marks!
• You’ve spent more money on a single pen than a weekly food shop and don’t regret a thing.
  • Now just because I've eaten ramen for a week in order to buy a pen (or make an ink haul), does not mean I haven't regrets .... I regret not making more money.
  • OH, and I can't do this because I have three teenagers. I can't spend more money on anything than on food, but someday I will, it's a goal now.
• Seeing a pen with a lid that doesn’t match is enough to make your eye start twitching.
  • Now that doesn't make me upset at all - Seeing an uncapped fountain pen left to bleed out makes me mental.
• You live in fear of the day your cartridge runs out when you are out and you have to fall back on a biro.
  • Now why would I do that? Instead I carry three pens, extra cartridges and an extra ink tank.
• You have a favorite color ink (other than blue or black).
  • That's just a silly claim.
  • I have a favorite ink in every color including a favorite teal, cyan blurple, blue-black, purple black and black-black.
• You felt a sudden newfound pride in your handwriting after receiving your very first fountain pen.
  • Nope, my first fountain pen left me feeling inadequate.
  • My first custom nib that was just write for me - made me feel prideful and anxious to write more.
• You lie to your other half about how much you spend on pens
  • Absolutely not. I would never lie about how much I spend on pens.
  • I might, however, hide the ink receipts.
• You have pens for different occasions and different paperwork.
  • Doesn't everybody?
    • The extra firm Esterbrook for the checkbook.
    • The 1 ballpoint - a Fisher Space Pen for the Carbon-less Forms
    • A Sheaffer with a glider tip (empty precursor the the Flair) for use on the computer screen as a stylus.
    • A really awesome huge nib with Noodler's Luxury Blue for signing contracts.
    • A smaller custom nib pen filled with Suffragist Carmine to send letters to annoying attorneys.
    • Another pen filled with a new Scribe ink with a special scent to send letters to the companies who just opened in Las Vegas but can't pay by checks because their product is not legal across statelines.
    • Well... I could go on, but you get the idea - I have about a dozen different FPs inked up right now.
• You’ve felt the anticipation of waiting for Lamy to announce their special editions.
  • Well, no because they made me mad a few years ago and I've quit buying their pens. BUT uh, yeah, I love the inks ... and we won't talk about how I stalked everyone to get the new JHerbin LOA.
• You’ve experienced the heart-stopping moment of dropping your pen on the floor and having to check whether the nib is damaged.
  • Uh - let's not talk about this. I have PTSD like flashbacks and at least one of my pens is cursed.
• You know that great pens need not be the most expensive.
  • See link to Leonard Cohen Everybody Knows.
• You’ve assumed someone is making a statement about themselves by their pen/ink choice and judged them for it before realizing that they just picked up the nearest pen.
  • NOPE. I still judge. Seriously? They are that lazy????
• You’ve posted a picture of your pen collection on Instagram.
  • Never. That's what FPN is for.
• You love taking your fountain pen apart just so that you can put it back together again.
  • NOPE.
  • But I have gone crazy trying to get it inked up right away.
• You’re obsessed with watching stationery hauls on Youtube.
  • NOPE, but I am obsessed with getting to stationery stores, and we won't talk about paper hauls.
• You struggle to remain calm when a friend returns a pen that they’ve clearly been chewing.
  • No I reach over and slap them. This is not me.
• You’re strangely proud of how many unused pens you own
  • No. I use my pens. I am, however happy to talk to you about why my inks are sorted by continent.
• You have a secret obsession with watching calligraphy memes on the internet
  • I didn't even know that this was a thing. Now I'm going to have to look at those.
• You write 10x slower than usual when you use a new fountain pen because you want to marvel at the glorious effects.
  • Maybe.... Why are you making these accusations?
  • Uh, what do mean that glitter inks are not accepted by the bank?
• You have a system for displaying your pens that must not be messed with.
  • Just because all Sheaffer pens go together and are not allowed to touch the Pelikans....
  • And just because I keep the German inks from invading the Polish ink shelf does not mean that I'm crazy.
• You’ve shamelessly reveled in the glory of the stationery aisle.
  • And what is your point?
  • I've asked around here and we all do it.

[inkstainedruth]

(Both to the original link and to Amberlea's lawyer-ly response....)

 

As for me, I do NOT haunt stationery videos on YouTube. I do admit having an inordinate fondness for the Back To School Sales at places like Walmart, even though I have a bunch of 50¢ composition books I've never opened....

As for "the right pen for the occasion"? Well, duh -- isn't that what all those Esterbrook 9xxx series nibs are for? (I'm gonna be ready the next time I go car-shopping and make sure I've got something with a manifold nib for all those carbonless forms for the financial paperwork! )

Of course now I'm going to be earworming Leonard Cohen for the rest of the day....

Ruth Morrisson aka inkstainedruth

 

ETA: Oh, and the cap thing? Naaah. Only did that with the English-made 51 Vac which came with the USA-made cap for a 51 Special on it....

Edited March 7, 2018 by inkstainedruth

[Corona688]

What are all those parkers with the oval nib? That's unique.

[Bluey]

Oh boy, I answered "no" to every one of those except no.11

What are all those parkers with the oval nib? That's unique.

It's not actually a fountain pen. I can't remember the name but I've seen them on eBay, and they're Indian made(or assembled).

[amberleadavis]

It's a day later and I'm still giggling.

[shamwari]

I think they are Parker Ingenuities with Parker's 5th Generation technology aka a fibre-tip.

 

Thanks for the link to the blog post - excellent - as was Amberlea's response!

[JakobS]

1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21 do not apply to me.

 

#10 only applies because I have dropped a pen before, though I am not sure it was 'heart-stopping", as it actually made the pen write better!

 

#21, though I do like a good stationary aisle, I can't say I see many good ones around these days, and usually walk away disappointed. Pen stores, or art stores on the other hand usually make me pretty happy, but does it count if it's a whole store?

 

For #7, my other half spends more than me on her hobbies, so I usually can tell her without worry.

 

#4 doesn't apply because I rarely use cartridges, and always have a bottle of ink handy most places I go.

 

Not worried about #3, because I only use my fountain pens which usually cannot have mismatched caps to function properly.

 

For #2, haven't spent that much yet, but will soonish.....

 

For #1, my biggest worry is starting a new notebook with a quality sentence, than perfect handwriting.

 

#6, I have always liked my handwriting. I am almost sure I settled on the style I use 3-5 years before I really got into fountain pens. it just so happens to work well with fountain pens too!

 

#8, I use all my pens for all occasions and paperwork, or try to at least, none are regulated to specific duties though.

 

#9, Lamy special editions don't really do much for me. Especially as I have two safaris and a studio waiting to be repaired.

 

#12 is silly. I care about what people communicate with their writing, what they use to do so doesn't matter to me. I am unmoved by the choice of their pen/ink in assuming anything about them.

 

#13 No pen collection photos on Instagram, don't know if I will, but maybe a single pen if I do, over my entire collection.

 

#14 I love repairing broken fountain pens, but find no desire to take apart perfectly functioning pens only to gawk at their many parts. I am more impressed with a functioning pen that was brought back to life, and may never need to be taken apart again.

 

#15 I don't spend much time on YouTube, and since I am more into writing with fountain pens, than the "gear" I tend to get bored with videos that spend most of the time talking about the pen, and very little with writing with it.

 

#16, no one has ever chewed on my pens, I don't give pens out to be chewed on though.

 

#17 Never bought a pen to be unused, I see them as a tool necessary to complete a type of writing, I have no need for it otherwise.

 

#18 Calligraphy memes are too short to appreciate, and often more a mix of showing off, then showing an understanding of a specific type of handwriting.

 

#19. I always write at the pace I am used to with a new pen, as that is what I need it for. Now, I often do stop for a second to check out the shading of an ink, or the quality of a specific letter every now and then, but that is usually after I have written something, not during.

 

#20. I don't display my pens, so I have no system or organization, all are kept in pens rolls, some of my cheaper pens are kept in slots in the draw of my desk. I do keep them in certain areas of my desk that have not changed since I put them there originally, but that is more due to laziness, then a desire that they couldn't be placed elsewhere.

Edited March 7, 2018 by JakobS

[French]

Hi Ebberman, et al,

 

I'm guilty as charged... on most counts.

 

What happened?... ...I can remember when I used to be cool.

 

 

- Anthony

what do you mean 'used to be cool'? Here on FPN, you are virtually Fonzie!

[Corona688]

I think they are Parker Ingenuities with Parker's 5th Generation technology aka a fibre-tip.

Oh. So they put a fancy head on their pens to sell dolled-up sharpies. Fun.

[sansenri]

are they kidding?

 

those 21 are just for inexperienced beginners

 

if we had to draw the idiosyncracy list of the obsessed pen user I am sure we would come up with many more than that and much more idiosyncratic...

 

just as one example, I don't have a system of displaying my pens, the rest of the family had better not know how many I have...

rather they are stored away, sometimes so well I forget where...

but YES they are in some sort of order, by brand, and within the brand by model and size and then by colour, and the pen holders contain a description of the pens, so that when I use them I then know where to put them back...!

[sidthecat]

I've never had to lie about what I've spent on pens, but then I'm a widow.

[Maurizio]

Now I find that this does not match me at all.

 

 

 

 

• You practice your handwriting before making a first mark in a new notebook.
  • Absolutely not - I only draw the little lines to make sure I'm using the right pen and ink for my first marks!
• You’ve spent more money on a single pen than a weekly food shop and don’t regret a thing.
  • Now just because I've eaten ramen for a week in order to buy a pen (or make an ink haul), does not mean I haven't regrets .... I regret not making more money.
  • OH, and I can't do this because I have three teenagers. I can't spend more money on anything than on food, but someday I will, it's a goal now.
• Seeing a pen with a lid that doesn’t match is enough to make your eye start twitching.
  • Now that doesn't make me upset at all - Seeing an uncapped fountain pen left to bleed out makes me mental.
• You live in fear of the day your cartridge runs out when you are out and you have to fall back on a biro.
  • Now why would I do that? Instead I carry three pens, extra cartridges and an extra ink tank.
• You have a favorite color ink (other than blue or black).
  • That's just a silly claim.
  • I have a favorite ink in every color including a favorite teal, cyan blurple, blue-black, purple black and black-black.
• You felt a sudden newfound pride in your handwriting after receiving your very first fountain pen.
  • Nope, my first fountain pen left me feeling inadequate.
  • My first custom nib that was just write for me - made me feel prideful and anxious to write more.
• You lie to your other half about how much you spend on pens
  • Absolutely not. I would never lie about how much I spend on pens.
  • I might, however, hide the ink receipts.
• You have pens for different occasions and different paperwork.
  • Doesn't everybody?
    • The extra firm Esterbrook for the checkbook.
    • The 1 ballpoint - a Fisher Space Pen for the Carbon-less Forms
    • A Sheaffer with a glider tip (empty precursor the the Flair) for use on the computer screen as a stylus.
    • A really awesome huge nib with Noodler's Luxury Blue for signing contracts.
    • A smaller custom nib pen filled with Suffragist Carmine to send letters to annoying attorneys.
    • Another pen filled with a new Scribe ink with a special scent to send letters to the companies who just opened in Las Vegas but can't pay by checks because their product is not legal across statelines.
    • Well... I could go on, but you get the idea - I have about a dozen different FPs inked up right now.
• You’ve felt the anticipation of waiting for Lamy to announce their special editions.
  • Well, no because they made me mad a few years ago and I've quit buying their pens. BUT uh, yeah, I love the inks ... and we won't talk about how I stalked everyone to get the new JHerbin LOA.
• You’ve experienced the heart-stopping moment of dropping your pen on the floor and having to check whether the nib is damaged.
  • Uh - let's not talk about this. I have PTSD like flashbacks and at least one of my pens is cursed.
• You know that great pens need not be the most expensive.
  • See link to Leonard Cohen Everybody Knows.
• You’ve assumed someone is making a statement about themselves by their pen/ink choice and judged them for it before realizing that they just picked up the nearest pen.
  • NOPE. I still judge. Seriously? They are that lazy????
• You’ve posted a picture of your pen collection on Instagram.
  • Never. That's what FPN is for.
• You love taking your fountain pen apart just so that you can put it back together again.
  • NOPE.
  • But I have gone crazy trying to get it inked up right away.
• You’re obsessed with watching stationery hauls on Youtube.
  • NOPE, but I am obsessed with getting to stationery stores, and we won't talk about paper hauls.
• You struggle to remain calm when a friend returns a pen that they’ve clearly been chewing.
  • No I reach over and slap them. This is not me.
• You’re strangely proud of how many unused pens you own
  • No. I use my pens. I am, however happy to talk to you about why my inks are sorted by continent.
• You have a secret obsession with watching calligraphy memes on the internet
  • I didn't even know that this was a thing. Now I'm going to have to look at those.
• You write 10x slower than usual when you use a new fountain pen because you want to marvel at the glorious effects.
  • Maybe.... Why are you making these accusations?
  • Uh, what do mean that glitter inks are not accepted by the bank?
• You have a system for displaying your pens that must not be messed with.
  • Just because all Sheaffer pens go together and are not allowed to touch the Pelikans....
  • And just because I keep the German inks from invading the Polish ink shelf does not mean that I'm crazy.
• You’ve shamelessly reveled in the glory of the stationery aisle.
  • And what is your point?
  • I've asked around here and we all do it.

Love these replies; made a mildly funny post really entertaining.

[shamwari]

Corona688, on 07 Mar 2018 - 20:33, said:

Oh. So they put a fancy head on their pens to sell dolled-up sharpies. Fun.

 

Parker's web site at

https://www.parkerpen.com/en-US/ingenuity-us

has the following:

 

"REVOLUTIONARY WRITING TECHNOLOGY

Ingenuity's smart glide tip features patented Parker 5TH technology. The engraved metallic hood holds the adaptable smart glide tip in a fixed, but flexible position. With each written word, Ingenuity touches the page at the ideal angle so it can easily adjust to every curve of your unique writing style."

 

and

 

"EFFORTLESSLY SMOOTH

By adapting to match the natural angles of each user's handwriting, Ingenuity produces flawless, smooth strokes. The fibre-tip produces a bold, clear rendering that won't skip or scratch on the page. Fast drying ink prevents hand smudging, so penmanship stays crisp and beautiful."

 

I've no experience of using one but a review can be found here:

https://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/topic/206347-parker-ingenuity/

[deepak23]

<p>

 

Now I find that this does not match me at all.

 

Indeed, how dare the author say stuff like that about us...

 

PS - You have inks from all continents? What brand is the Africa ink? 😁

[sansenri]

I've never had to lie about what I've spent on pens, but then I'm a widow.

sorry, I meant no disrespect by laughing

 

and I put my own self in a cul de sac now... lie or be a widow...