How Many Pen Pals?

[CraigR]

If you are an active pen pal, how many correspondences do you keep going at the same time? I was an active pen pal for many years but stopped some time ago due to illness and disability. I am back to feeling well and thinking about starting some new pen pal relationships. I have maintained correspondence with family and some friends who knew that I wasn't always able to respond in a timely manner.

 

How many pen pal relationships are reasonable at the same time?

[richila]

I have 7 pen pals that I hear from and write to regularly and another 8 that answer letters sporadically.

[Maccabeus]

I suppose it depends upon the time you are willing & able to put into correspondence. Before starting my dissertation, I had nearly a dozen pen pals. Most of them were fairly regular writers, and the most infrequent could be counted on to write exactly twice a year. When my discretionary time started running tight, I whittled down the list to five. I write to two of them regularly and the other three when time and willpower allow. Personally, I'd rather have fewer pen pals with whom I can write in-depth and have discussions rather than several whose paragraph structure looks like they're doing nothing more than woodenly addressing what I wrote or who scribble off a page of inane fluff.

[darazs]

Easy question enough, but i feel lazy and can’t be bothered counting. The fact of the latter is that the question is deeper than how many, and as the previous poster suggested, it depends very much what you call a pen pal.

 

I have correspondants with different styles, from fun, pen and ink centered to very personnal and fondamental topics as well as from very regular to totally sporadic. I believe that this is part of the fun, and all understand that the time i can devote to letters varies - we are cool with that which gives me and (hopefully them) the feeling that we all benefit from the correspondance.

 

Do i make sense?

 

I guess if i were you, i sould pick one, see how it goes, and then another etc

 

Good luck, and good to read you are doing better.

[flyingfox]

This topic just became a “hot button” issue at a snail mail pen pal group I belong to on on Facebook, when someone posted that she has 150 pen pals! Some commented that it is impossible to keep so many friendship going and accused the person of being a “pen pal collector”; others said it is possible, and so on!

 

During the Holiday card season, I actually counted my pen pals, among all the people I sent out cards to. And here, my operational definition of a “pen pal” is someone I initially met via correspondence. Sounds simple enough, but hear me out.

 

After almost 30 years in this hobby, the line between “pen pal” and “normal friends” becomes blurry. For example- one of my “pen pal”, R, lives near my Dad’s place, so whenever go visit my Dad (once or twice a year), I meet up with her. R used to be an active writer, but- for the past several years, due to personal reasons, her letter-writing is in hiatus. Then there is another friend, A- she and I went to high school together, but as soon as she graduated from high school, she moved to another country in another continent. The last time I saw A was in 1993, at our high school graduation (yea, I am totally dating myself here) BUT I receive her letters almost every month. Who is “more pen pal”, R or A??!!

 

In any case. According to my operational definition, R is my pen pal, A is not- she is “a friend from high school”.

 

I have 40 pen pals total. Among them, about 10 are regular, i.e. I get their letter once a month or more. About 15 are in “semi-regular” category, i.e. a letter every other month, but less than “regular”. Then there are about 10 “seasonal” pals who seem to write me once every 3-4 months. The rest write me once or twice a year. The number I have right now works for me, as I need time for work, family, and other hobbies, so that I actually have something to write about and have money for postage stamps/ other stationery LOL. While I am fairly good at writing back within a reasonable time frame, when I fall apart, it happens spectacularly.

 

People, of course, move from one category to another as circumstances change. Vast majority of my pen pals are women around my age, and- many are busy, juggling family stuff (raising kids and/or caring for aging parents), career, or all of the above. A couple of my pen pals stopped writing after having a child or the second child, and came back to writing when the youngest started school, for example. Such is life, as they say...

[asnailmailer]

I do have a penpal who has over 100 penpals herself. She is definitely not a penpal collector and all her letters are unique, written for the recipient (although she has also on occasion, included something printed because of sad news she wanted to impart but did not want to write it over and over again).

 

I have probably about 40 regular (reply within the month) penpals, but maybe another 10-20 who reply every now and again. Add on a few I only receive around InCoWriMo year after year... Numbers are just guestimates.

[Doulton]

I hope I am not a "collector" of penpals.

 

I try to answer everything but my correspondence ranges from postcards, to short notes, to letters of about 2-4 small sheets, or 1-2 larger sheets. Occasionally I will have a typed correspondence with somebody who prefers that. For the holidays, I sent out 160 cards, most of them with at least brief personal letters. I only got 10 holiday cards, but I am going to write back to everyone I have heard from from December 2017 onwards. I think some people want to dump me, but more likely people get busy and move into new phases of their lives. I don't take it personally. There have been large blocks of time when I did not write to people for good reasons (working on my dissertation, writing a book under contract and deadline, husband having a stroke, having to be a full-time caregiver for me mother) where I let my correspondence lapse. I forgive everything because I've had so much need for forgiveness myself.

 

 

I have been "broken up with" a few times: by a really lovely lady who had a 2 week rule and by another not so lovely woman who had a one-week turnaround rule. And by another who wrote that I did not understand her OCD; although she had mentioned she was OCD she gave no particulars. Was she a hand-washer? Was she a counter? I figured she would tell me what she wanted me to know, but I did not intuit what it was.

 

People perceive time differently; my week could be an hour or a year to somebody else.

[sharonspens]

I probably have 10 or so penpals with whom I exchange at least a couple of letters/postcards a year. Several of those folks are quite prolific, and I may receive letters from them monthly or every three weeks. I try to keep up, but they are usually faster than I am.

 

I have one letter round robin, with two other people (we each write a letter, mail the three letters to the next person, who then removes his/her last letter and replaces it with a new one, . . .).

 

I also have three round robin journals going, each with 3 other people. In those cases, we each add to the journal for awhile, then send it on to the next person. Those tend to float back to me every quarter.

 

Sharon in Indiana

[CraigR]

I probably have 10 or so penpals with whom I exchange at least a couple of letters/postcards a year. Several of those folks are quite prolific, and I may receive letters from them monthly or every three weeks. I try to keep up, but they are usually faster than I am.

 

I have one letter round robin, with two other people (we each write a letter, mail the three letters to the next person, who then removes his/her last letter and replaces it with a new one, . . .).

 

I also have three round robin journals going, each with 3 other people. In those cases, we each add to the journal for awhile, then send it on to the next person. Those tend to float back to me every quarter.

 

Sharon in Indiana

Just curious, how long have your round robin journals been traveling? I participated in several about 6 years ago and enjoyed them.

[sharonspens]

Just curious, how long have your round robin journals been traveling? I participated in several about 6 years ago and enjoyed them.

 

i started each of them sometime in late 2015/early 2016, I suppose. See my posting in the Forum regarding US traveling notebooks, patterned from a similar one going round Europe (I was a bit envious because I couldn't do the European one unless I moved to Europe, which seemed a bit extreme to me). Each started with five people, and each has lost one person over time. I think they are each into their third book now!

 

Sharon in Indiana

[Noihvo]

 

[countrydirt]

I regularly correspond with about 8 others - 2 in other countries. Time of response varies based on the time of the year. With some, it may be 2 months or more between letters and with one, it sometimes is a year or more.

[john74]

I have 5 pen pals at the moment. Three of them are regular (7-9 letters a year each), and two of them only write occasionally (1-2 letters a year).

 

In addition, I participate in a round robin journal which loops back to me every 10 weeks or so and puts me in touch with 3 more correspondents.

 

Since I also write in my journal daily, I feel like I could only add one or two more "regulars" before feeling overwhelmed.

[Rhincodon]

Noihvo, I definitely had trouble keeping my coversations straight, especially the first year of InCo when I wrote very similar first letters. Right now I have a logbook for my letters where I note down topics we exchange so I don't accidentally repeat myself. It's a bit extra work, but it's very satisfying to look at the records.

 

That said, I have about 7 right now, including family, and I hope to gain a few more win my replies to this year's InCo.

[Drawing61]

I'm fairly new to pen-paling so my habit is to apologize when my letters are overdue. I do love writing and exchanging letters but my schedule is very chaotic so I've been dropped by a couple of pen pals with whom I would have enjoyed further contact.

[Noihvo]

 

[kealani]

2-3 regular, 2-3 very sporadic to fading. I take a lot of time and thought to compose each missive and often send photos from my portfolio, and answer in a timely manner. Quality is better than quantity.

 

Though those that respond with equal effort are always reciprocated and appreciated.

Something like emails . . . responses to a well though out personal note with "that's nice, thanks" always leaves something lacking.

 

aloha

j

[asnailmailer]

I don't scan my outgoing letters at all. I used to draft letters (especially when I was writing in a non-mother tongue), but I would deviate with the outline, so gave up.

 

I am pondering what to do about my old incoming letters. I started to scan in my childhood letters, but haven't gotten very far.

[MHBru]

I currently have none... Ok,I've always had none. But, I keep thinking how cool it would be to have this sort of contact with someone that shares common interests... Pens, ink and paper of course... But also, astronomy and most science-fact related space stuff. I'm open if this happens to be you. I'm in southern california, USA

[Chrissy]

I currently have none... Ok,I've always had none. But, I keep thinking how cool it would be to have this sort of contact with someone that shares common interests... Pens, ink and paper of course... But also, astronomy and most science-fact related space stuff. I'm open if this happens to be you. I'm in southern california, USA

 

You should go to the Snail Mail Writing list and put your name on there. That's the list for penpals