Fountain Pens And Cancer

[Bklyn]

To all of my friend here, it has been a tough year but I am almost 6 months out and I wish you all a wonderful holiday season. I thank each and ever one of you for your support and kind words. I have read every single post and reflected on your messages and insights. I hope all of you are well.

[Barkingpig]

Thank you for your post. I appreciate hearing from you & know this is a difficult time. I had a friend who said when she buried her husband she looked out the window & realised it remained the same view, but looked entirely "different." I have always remembered that after the illness & death of a loved one. I wish you as pleasant holidays as possible; please know you are remembered with kind thoughts from many of us.

[Quixo]

Just read the entire thread. Cried. Wish I could transmit hugs. <3

[Bklyn]

Thank you for your post. I appreciate hearing from you & know this is a difficult time. I had a friend who said when she buried her husband she looked out the window & realised it remained the same view, but looked entirely "different." I have always remembered that after the illness & death of a loved one. I wish you as pleasant holidays as possible; please know you are remembered with kind thoughts from many of us.

 

I thank you so much. Nice to be remembered. I am writing about my wife as I try to figure out a way to have her remembered.

[Bklyn]

Just read the entire thread. Cried. Wish I could transmit hugs. <3

Please, consider your hug transmitted. I thank you for the kind words.

[Old_Inkyhand]

It's so wonderful to hear from you, Bklyn. Have a calm Christmas, keep warm and enjoy the little things.

[max dog]

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Edited December 23, 2016 by max dog

[matteob]

Your wife has my thoughts and prayers. I hope you have a very Happy Christmas and many more of them. Yes writing with a fountain pen is very soothing as is writing with a traditional pencil. I much prefer either when jotting down ideas. A biro, rollerball or automatic pencil cannot compare let alone pecking at a keyboard (though a type writer is fun). I get the same zen like pleasure in shaving with a straight razor too.

 

God bless from England xx

Edited December 23, 2016 by matteob

[Aquaria]

So sorry to hear about your wife. I know what you mean about the fear and the importance of finding things to help you cope with the heartache. My grandfather was essentially my father, and he contracted terminal leukemia when I was 9. This was back before doctors could do anything at all with leukemia. So I watched him wither away before my eyes, and it nearly killed me when he died. Our family was never the same after he was gone.

 

Earlier this year, I learned that now I have cancer, but we caught it at stage 1. It's also not an aggressive cancer, and the treatment rate is very high. Still, I've had to get a major surgery, and I start radiation treatment next week because one of these new-fangled tests detected that pre-cancerous cells had spread to my lymph system. The test is so new that they don't know how to treat these pre-cancerous thingies, but they're not taking any chances. So radiation, here I come. Thankfully, they've ruled out chemo. I've taken this cancer thing better than anyone around me would have expected (for some reason, people around me think I'm some kind of ninny, when I'm not). But the one thing that I wouldn't have handed well would have been losing my hair. That would have made me cry, when nothing else has, really.

 

I, too, find it a comfort to have familiar things, comforting things and, dare I say, traditional things around me during this time. I brought notebooks and fountain pens to the hospital when I was there for surgery, and I bring them to most of my MD appointments as well. It gives me something to do to take my mind off my worries, or it just gives me something to do to fill the long stretches of time when I'm invariably waiting for...whatever.

[praxim]

One can not read your words without feeling for you. I know from another post that you are not as old as we might minimally wish before such things creep up on us. It sounds as though your care is good. I wish you all the best.

[Bklyn]

It's so wonderful to hear from you, Bklyn. Have a calm Christmas, keep warm and enjoy the little things.

 

I thank you for the kind words. Christmas was difficult but I managed to make it through one day at a time. I hope you are well and enjoying the new year.

[Bklyn]

Your wife has my thoughts and prayers. I hope you have a very Happy Christmas and many more of them. Yes writing with a fountain pen is very soothing as is writing with a traditional pencil. I much prefer either when jotting down ideas. A biro, rollerball or automatic pencil cannot compare let alone pecking at a keyboard (though a type writer is fun). I get the same zen like pleasure in shaving with a straight razor too.

 

God bless from England xx

Thanks so much my friend in the UK. I loved my IBM Selectric back in the day. A straight razor? That might frighten me just a bit!

[Bklyn]

So sorry to hear about your wife. I know what you mean about the fear and the importance of finding things to help you cope with the heartache. My grandfather was essentially my father, and he contracted terminal leukemia when I was 9. This was back before doctors could do anything at all with leukemia. So I watched him wither away before my eyes, and it nearly killed me when he died. Our family was never the same after he was gone.

 

Earlier this year, I learned that now I have cancer, but we caught it at stage 1. It's also not an aggressive cancer, and the treatment rate is very high. Still, I've had to get a major surgery, and I start radiation treatment next week because one of these new-fangled tests detected that pre-cancerous cells had spread to my lymph system. The test is so new that they don't know how to treat these pre-cancerous thingies, but they're not taking any chances. So radiation, here I come. Thankfully, they've ruled out chemo. I've taken this cancer thing better than anyone around me would have expected (for some reason, people around me think I'm some kind of ninny, when I'm not). But the one thing that I wouldn't have handed well would have been losing my hair. That would have made me cry, when nothing else has, really.

 

I, too, find it a comfort to have familiar things, comforting things and, dare I say, traditional things around me during this time. I brought notebooks and fountain pens to the hospital when I was there for surgery, and I bring them to most of my MD appointments as well. It gives me something to do to take my mind off my worries, or it just gives me something to do to fill the long stretches of time when I'm invariably waiting for...whatever.

Hello Aquaria: I am so glad to hear from you and I am sorry to have not responded sooner but the time seemed to have gotten away from me.

 

I am so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis but I am hoping that you are doing well with the radiation and that you are enjoying the time between treatments and MD appointments. I will pray for you and send good energy to you, my new friend, in Texas. PLEASE let me know how you are doing.

[Lexus77]

Bklyn,

I'm so sorry to read all this. I've been crying. Perhaps a bit for your grief, perhaps a bit for my own.
Cancer is such a horrible, horrible disease.

I've lost my mother to it almost 6 years ago. When she stopped her tratments, chosing to live the life that remained enjoying things as much as she can, outside of hospitals, doctors told her she would have 6 months left.
Then my cousin became pregnant, and called her "the baby's second grandmother." Wanting to see this child grow up, helped her to live two more years, savouring every second of it. She taught me so much, she lived so gracefully, the way she was able to cope with this disease was unimaginably beautiful. It was joy to leave behind my job, my social life and much more, to take care of her. I wouldn't have wanted to do anything else, and I slightly resent people who say it was 'noble' or 'kind' of me to do so. She was my mother, she was always there for me, she needed help. What else could I have done?
But the last few weeks were excruciating and soul crushing. I will never lose that awful feeling. I will never forget all that pain and suffering, and I will never stop missing her. I wish I could forget her last few minutes, so bad.

Yes, christmas is rough, Birthdays are rough. Some beautiful little moments you want to share are very very rough. Sometimes when you least expect it, it gets awfully rough, if you're missing a part of your family, of your life. In my case, I have no more family left.
But, if there's one solace I hope I can offer you: It gets better. It's not easy. Sometimes itt hurts like stepping on a floor full of lego bricks. The missing doesn't get less, it doesn't wear off, no matter what they tell you. But it does get better. Just cherish the good moments, remember the better days, and be thankful for the lessons life has given you in such a painful way. Somehow, you learn to deal with it, and look at it from a different point of view. The memories will always be there. And along with the memories, we carry our loved ones in our hearts, perhaps closer to ourselves, and more consciously then when they were still visibly here.

I won't be kidding you: The road ahead is not easy. You know that as well as I do, perhaps better. But it really does lead to a better place, new adventures, new stories, new memories. Just keep on traveling.

[crescent2]

Bklyn, I am so very sorry for your loss. You are and will be in my prayers. It's hard to add to the many caring and eloquent comments already posted, but I will share a little of my experiences.

 

My husband died a few years ago after an extended and difficult illness. (He was such a brave man!) You will get through this, as you may be discovering by now.

 

I'm so thankful to know that you are a man of faith, and I am certain the Lord gave and gives me much strength. I had just retired a few months before my husband's death, so this was a time of huge change for me. While I have been a Christian from my early teens, I became fascinated with researching the message, history, and some of the different translations of the Bible and have recently read it cover to cover. There is much comfort and wisdom there, and how blessed we are to have the word of God available to us. I also somehow discovered fountain pens about this same time, and as I read through the Bible I wrote about it in a journal, using my fountain pens. I am now in the process of doing this again, from another translation. As many others have shared, I would encourage you to lean on your faith in God especially at this time. He loves and cares for you! I also found that I had time to be more active in church activities, and the friendships there were and are another comfort, as of course is the worship of God.

 

A few of my former coworkers who are also retired and I have had the pleasure of taking a few short vacations together. Life continues to unfold a day at a time. I volunteer one afternoon a week in an after-school activity program at the elementary school where I taught. I also get to spend a little more time with family members, although they don't have a lot of free time at this stage of their lives. The fountain pen hobby flourishes. I have one journal just for quotes and Scripture that I find especially comforting or inspiring. I use different pens and inks in it.

 

Pursue your interests and be open to new ones.

 

My husband and I had a dog-child, and he was and continues to be so much company to me every single day. He is 12 now and truly a precious family member. Many have suggested adopting a pet, and if you are so inclined and able to happily assume the responsibility, I would also encourage you to consider this.

 

The first six months and the first Christmas are for many the most acute grief. Continue your journey one day at a time, and cherish your memories and many blessings. I am blessed to be able to truthfully say this is now a very joyful time of life for me (not that I don't miss him every day, but there is a peace and inner joy.)

 

Two quick bits of wisdom, comfort, and reminders of what's truly important even (or especially) in troubled times:

 

John 14: 1-3

 

A quote from C. S. Lewis-- "Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

 

May you soon find many more of the "pleasant inns" of life at this phase of your journey home. I believe those who love God will spend eternity together, praising Him.

 

Aquaria, you and the others here who are in similar circumstances are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Two of my dear friends (one is only 13) are battling cancer, and another faces a kidney transplant. Please know that you are not alone in your fight.

 

I meant to add: I loved the love story in your link, Bklyn! Thanks for sharing.

Edited January 18, 2017 by crescent2

[bbs]

Dear Bklyn, only just read this thread, and so sorry for your loss and that of all others who have been bereaved. Sending you all good wishes and healing thoughts. There is winter now, but spring will come again, as it always does .... Stay hopeful. X

[marcelo]

She taught me so much, she lived so gracefully, the way she was able to cope with this disease was unimaginably beautiful. It was joy to leave behind my job, my social life and much more, to take care of her. I wouldn't have wanted to do anything else, and I slightly resent people who say it was 'noble' or 'kind' of me to do so. She was my mother, she was always there for me, she needed help. What else could I have done?

 

Beautiful!

[Bklyn]

Dear Bklyn, only just read this thread, and so sorry for your loss and that of all others who have been bereaved. Sending you all good wishes and healing thoughts. There is winter now, but spring will come again, as it always does .... Stay hopeful. X

 

I thank you bbs. Had the family over today for a spaghetti dinner. Not an easy thing to do but I am trying to take care of them all.

[Arkamas]

I've come to favor writing in cursive with a fountain pen in my thick, Italian leather journal, and it has become a very effective and therapeutic form of meditation for me. No other form of writing, nor any other instrument, comes close.

Interestingly, this reminds me of an article from the Art of Manliness about the benefits of writing things by hand:

 

 

Writing things by hand makes you smarter. Research shows that writing things out by hand can help improve general learning. One study out of the University of Indiana scanned the brains of a group of four and five-year-olds and found that neural activity was about the same amongst all of them. The researchers then split the kids into two groups: one group was shown letters and instructed to recognize them visually, and the other was taught to write them. The researchers scanned their brains again and discovered that neural activity was now dramatically different between the two groups. The kids who were taught to recognize letters visually showed no change in neural activity, while the kids who learned how to write letters showed more “adult-like” activity in their brains’ reading network.

 

Researchers believe there’s something about manually manipulating and drawing out two-dimensional shapes (like letters) that aids in learning comprehension. Studies have noted similar brain boosting results from handwriting practice in adults.

 

What’s more, other studies show there are cognitive benefits that come with cursive writing in particular — such as improved reading and spelling scores — that you don’t get when writing block letters.

 

It's a shame that cursive writing seems to be falling out of use in the modern world. Technological advancement such as we've achieved is fantastic, and having the capability to access the world's knowledge with a mere flick of the finger would have once been considered a work of magic, but we can't allow other things to be forgotten.

 

I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. I lost a friend to cancer about a year ago. My deepest regards.

Edited January 23, 2017 by Arkamas

[inkmad]

I understand. I find writing, servicing and even just looking at my pens is calming. Of course, this can in no way eliminate all the challenges in life but it helps sometimes just to focus in on something which does not place too many demands on you.

I wish you and your wife well.