When a guest book is provided at a social event and pen made available by the host, is it a breach of etiquette to sign with one's own pen instead?

If the host has specifically provided a ballpoint pen, I'd say that s/he has already violated basic etiquette by treating his/her guests with utter contempt. (Wouldn't the worst punishment of all be to die and then somehow find out that a biro-filled book of remembrance now existed in your name?)

Neil

never really thought of that... Maybe Emily Post has something about that but I'd follow suit with what is provided. Using a BP once isn't going to damn you to FP hell

Kurt

I am sure that you can use your own pen without being gauche .... though Ms.Manners might disagree .. but I can't imagine why she would !!!

Bravo NeilB! Well put.

To the contrary, it would be rude to do less than your best, which of course means you should sign with the pen that will produces the nicest work.

I'd sign in with my M215 or Optima or Charleston (all in my pockets) whether they like it or not.
If they don't like it, then all they have to do is scratch out my name or rip out the whole page.
Of course, OTOH, if they really do like my (our) idea, then I'd give 'em the URL of this forum.

SO!

I don't think you should use Noodlers Napalm or Firefly.

What about Blue Ghost?

Only if you sign your name thus:

I. P. Standing

Thank you jmkeuning... you just woke me out of my late afternoon stupor.

I think the reason for providing a pen is so that people will have a pen to sign with. I'm sure that not much thought was put into the pens that accompany most guest books. I think what you write is more important than what you write it with (meaning use a FP!).

I agree the pen left is as a convenience so that the great unwashed masses that are so rude as to not carry a fine writing instrument have something to write with. So yes go ahead and use your own fine writing instrument and sign away, make John Hancock proud. Use a fast drying permanent ink so others don't smudge it.

Completely agree. A ball point or fiber-tip makes sense. How many members of FPN would lay out a good fountain pen for guests to use? I'm thinking of the recent thread asking if you would let someone borrow your pen.

My only concern would be if your choice of ink made your entry stand out inappropriately. If every entry is written in black and you decide that BSB is your color of choice for the day, you might be drawing a little too much attention to yourself. If you have a pen loaded with a similar color, I'd definitely use the FP.

I agree with the others who've said that the ballpoint is only there for the convenience of those attendees whose minds are so diseased that they do not carry a fountain pen around with them all the time.

In such circumstances I always sign with my fountain pen. I think that if anyone ever looks at the guest book, and how many of those get tossed or never looked at, they'll actually appreciate that you've signed using a fountain pen.

While I think that a red or orange color ink would be a bit gauche I think that a blue ink among black inks would not be inappropriate.

And it would also depend on the occasion, IMO. For a funeral or wake a dark color is called for. but if it's signing in for some meeting or a non-somber event I think that any color of ink would be just fine.

I've never understood the reason for a 'Guest Book'. You're correct - who's going to look at it? Most meetings/weddings/etc. do have a attendance/guest list anyway. It's not as though someone is going to just gate crash a meeting/wedding and remember sign in the Guest book, right?

Granted.. but if you are taking a pen to a funeral, you should of thought ahead and known to have a pen inked with black. That's only proper, No?

Two pages of discussion about this use the ballpoint and move on

Kurt

I don't know if it happens in other parts of the world, but it's quite common in the UK for people coming to funerals to be asked to wear 'no dark colours'. Does this apply to inks as well? Would it be acceptable -- if not essential -- in such cases to turn up with a pen filled with Noodler's Firefly? Do I get 'automatic Firefly approval' if there's a 'black block'? I think we need at least six more pages of discussion about this...

Neil

I had this happen at an old friend's second wedding. I got to the guestbook and pulled out a Rotring I had handy. The attendant said something like "Oh, there's a pen right there, sir!"

Funny portion: the old friend getting married is also a pen geek, but I'm not sure how involved he was at that level. He did his own calligraphy for the invitations and told me some of his fiancee's students couldn't even conceive that a human had put that on the envelope. I imagine on the day of the wedding he was pretty frazzled and left it to the company in charge of hosting.

I just signed in Legal Lapis amidst a sea of black ballpoint and said "John will understand."

But at the wakes and funeral services in these parts of the Midwest invitations are not issued, and the "Guest Book" is a nice record of those who came to pay their respects.

The cynical part of me adds that they are also an additional option/expense, with several different price points.

gary

I've been discussing this topic with various acquaintances and thus noted two additional things to think about:

[1] Older people or people with impaired health may not want to risk using the same pen that had been touched by dozens of other people. So, it would be rude for the host to impose a pen on such people.

[2] A quick, subjective check of paper quality in the guest book might be in order. If the host was ignorant of what constitutes good paper then your FP might bleed all over the page.

[3] To reduce the risk of smears, ask the person in back you whether he/she is left-handed. :-)

Of course, the superlative host would post a HUGE sign encouraging FP use.

But one wouldn't want to provide a public fountain pen for signing a guest book. Fountain pens are certainly not as hardy as a ballpoint pen and if dropped (which often will be the case when used by the public) it's going to be ruined. It's better to provide a ballpoint pen in this case (or rollerball or felt-tip), but I think the guest is free to use whatever pen s/he has unless specifically told by the host to use the pen provided. I would never provide a fountain pen for use in by the public. It's just too easily damaged.

Hey, I just bought a Pilot Varsity for $2.39. Get a handful, spray paint 'em with Krylon Fusion and don't worry...
Heck, for that matter, spread the FP joy -- give stealin' 'em a wink & a nod.

"I would never provide a fountain pen for use in by the public. It's just too easily damaged. "

I certainly understand your concern, and if it was a nice pen perhaps someone might forget to hand it back. Indeed, there are plenty of threads here on lending FPs to other people and the grief that sometimes results.

But, here in the UK at the moment still (though this is about to change for the worse when "modern" technology takes over) when you register a birth, death or marriage you have to fill out the official register and the registrar, or vicar, will hand you a fountain pen filled with Registrar's Ink. You must use this pen and ink when completing the necessary information. The pens are usually of moderate quality (Parkers seem to predominate in my experience) and must be pretty robust.

Sorry to wander a bit, but some TV programmes in the UK have recently shown people researching their ancestry and the sight of wonderful old records, beautifully written, which have survived hundreds of years is an eye opener to many. I wonder whether searching corrupted computer discs will generate the same interest or awe in the future?

Chris

Hi Chris,

I've watched those programs. It's amazing to read the gorgeously written records.

Today, I had to lend someone my Stipula to sign something as there wasn't another pen in sight. I specifically asked her not to press hard, but I still cringed when she used it. Absolutely no idea how to use a pen !

Soki

That's a little different. A guest book is not always staffed and often just lying around with a pen. When you register birth, death or marriage, there is always someone by there to hand you a pen, and in that case a fountain pen is fine. Not for a guest book unstaffed with fountain pen. I don't think so. You could try a disposable fountain pen or some cheap old fountain pen you don't mind having it dropped, but the nib is still not as hardy as a ballpoint pen. I think it's better to go with the idea of use the right tool for the right moment.

Okay...if you like it that way, no problem I'd rather than make it simple and use a ballpoint or rollerball.