QUOTE(Splicer @ Jun 27 2008, 05:00 PM) [snapback]653325[/snapback]
QUOTE(kaseygirl @ Jun 27 2008, 10:44 AM) [snapback]653110[/snapback]
I am also having trouble keeping the Artist Dates I make. The fatigue is part of the problem as well as some other issues on which I am working. I know it is important to play, so I am just going to have to make it more of a priority. Maybe that is one of the lessons I am to learn from TAW.
Not directly related to my experience with the Artist's Way, at one point in my life I decided to start taking myself on "regular" dates. The idea was to get free of the idea that I have to take someone else along in order to have a good time. The first time I tried it I went out, had a quick meal, looked at the marquee at the multiplex theater, decided there wasn't anything I wanted to see, and went home. It wasn't until I got home that it really struck me that I wouldn't treat someone else like that on a date and that I wouldn't put up with someone treating me like that on a date. But I found it perfectly acceptable to treat myself like I wasn't worth any effort.
It was a small moment of clarity for me that allowed me to start putting a higher priority on my own happiness, and that's what it took for me to make a change. I started making better plans for things I'd like to do and, having a real plan, actually followed through and had a good time.
An added benefit is that I haven't been on a bad date since that first one with myself. I've been on plenty of dates with women I didn't want to see again, but I've had a good time anyway. My whole attitude about dating has changed. Instead of trying to figure out something to impress or entertain someone else, I get to live this amazing life full of fun, enriching, satisfying activities---and sometimes I get to bring someone else along to be part of it. I think everyone wins.
Consider that you might be at the beginning of a similar kind of opening up with the Artist Dates. Obviously not exactly the same process, but if you plan it out and follow through and really honor yourself by treating yourself so well, it can make a profound change.
Splicer,
This post really provided me with what Oprah calls an "A-ha" moment. I have a very hard time time treating myself well, even though I tend to go overboard being nice to others. According to TAW book, blocked creatives are often martyrs. Between reading your message and that part of the book, I am much more aware of how self destructive I am. This was hard to realize, because once upon a time I was blatantly self-destructive. So, my first reponse was "No! I have worked hard, I've gotten past that!!!!" But this time it is much more subtle but no less wrong.
QUOTE(Splicer @ Jun 27 2008, 05:00 PM) [snapback]653325[/snapback]
I'm not unmindful of your physical symptoms here: you must take care of yourself physically and I'm not suggesting that you go out to a museum when you don't feel well enough to go. Taking care of yourself physically is another way of honoring yourself, and it won't do to grudgingly drag yourself to the museum when you don't fee up to it because some stupid book said you should. Whether you go on an Artist Date or cancel your Artist Date, let it be about being good to yourself.
I truly appreciate the fact that you are "mindful" of my physical symptoms. Sadly, if most people can't see it, they don't or can't get it. Thanks.
Actually, the real problem is that I have so much guilt about the times when I am too sick to do anything. Once I feel okay, I feel that I have to be doing laundry or cleaning or something else "constructive" to make up for my down time. I am more grudgingly dragging myself on the dates I have kept, when I feel okay. Another lightbulb moment for me

(complete with a smiley!)
QUOTE(Splicer @ Jun 27 2008, 05:00 PM) [snapback]653325[/snapback]
Wow. I had no idea I could sound this new-agey. I'm generally more cynical and jaded than this. But it is my experience, so so be it.
My most successful date was a very new-agey Karma-fest. I haven't seen any of the following words in your post:
Old Soul
Angel Guide
Great Numbers or
Aura
(disclaimer, I LOVED the karma-fest and I am not making fun of new age believers. I believe I am an old soul myself. I wish I could see auras. I am merely pointing out that Splicer did not mention them in his post.)
So, I don't really find your post to be new-agey. I actually think that when you go on a date with a woman you really like, you should present this face, as well as your cynical and jaded faces. Just MHO.
So, to wrap things up here, I have recognized the problem. That is the first step

Thank you very much and here's to honoring ourselves