For some days now I have had difficulty drafting letters to friends. Some I haven't seen for a few years but I have kept in touch. And last week I was delighted to receive a package of G Lalo writing paper and envelopes from one special friend.

The only problem is, they don't write back very often at all so I find it hard to keep sending letters myself.

I wonder if it is because my letters are not interesting enough or whether I'm just clinging to an outmoded means of communication!

Most regular (non fountain pen) people just don't write hand written letters. It's no reflection on you. If you want gloriously hand written mail showing up in your mailbox you should ask for FPN pen pals.

I've been dictating my personal letters lately. When I have a 2-hour commute, the drive to the City is a good time for me to dictate letters. They are transcribed, then I handwrite them out, making edits along the way. It sounds like madness -- but it's the only way I can keep up with personal correspondences these days.

As far as people not writing back, I try to maintain a back-and-forth -- but if the person has not written in awhile (which I, myself, have been guilty of) I write anyway. It usually gets things going again...

That's just part of the game. Some people don't write letters. You might draw from a better pool, i.e. the snail pool. Even then LONG TIME letter writers say less than half the people who sign up to snail with people don't respond. I think maybe the IDEA of writing long letters with fountain pens is more enjoyable than actually, you know, WRITING letters. No matter! Just write to a few more and eventually you'll assemble a cast of characters who write back. Some write back immediately, some take a week or two or a month. Everyone works at a different speed. But just keep adding a few more. Look in the forum where people advertise and find some people who have similar interests... or different interests!
cheers
skyp

It is probably not you. Most people just can't keep up the pace anymore. All this crazy electronical communication technology has made them so frantic they have an attention span of a hamster. Keep writing. Someday their computers will fry in their own lard and these folks will find your unanswered letters and begin to reply.

Paddler

I have just recently started working on my handwriting again. Many years ago I wrote often and had many correspondents all over the world. I still e-mail many of those people, but it just isn't the same as a hand written letter. Over the years, my handwriting became illegible. Slowly that is turning around and getting better. My paternal grandfather was a prolific letter writer all his life and I have boxes of his letters that I really enjoy re-reading. I can feel a deep connection with who and what he was through his letters. Now I am resurrecting the habit of hand written notes, letters and journal entries. I even have a couple of pen pals from this forum now. What fun!

My greatest challenge is time. It takes time to compose my thoughts and even longer to hand write a letter. Oh yeah, my fountain pens do not have a back space or delete function installed. /Craig

That's about it. I've been in various exchanges in various groups over they years, and it seems that there are always delays for whatever reason. Sometimes things come up, sometimes life is just too busy, and sometimes people just loose interest. I wouldn't take it personally.

- R

A handwritten letter is something special and people feel the need to reciprocate in kind, with a handwritten letter. The problem is that most people can't write very well so they put it off and never get around to it. In my case, sometimes they do, but often you can almost see the beads of sweat on their foreheads... I usually tell my non-pen friends that I'm writing a letter because I'm into hand writing letters and just wanted to say hello, etc. I hand write my email address at the top or after my signature to let them know that they can hit me back via email if they want. I don't want to stress out my friends.

The other contributing factor to non-response is lack of time. Non-pen people have no (zero nada) time set aside for writing letters. And most of us live a lifestyle -- the use of the word "style" is kinda suspect in this context -- without much time for the contemplation and focused, deliberate action that a letter requires. The time it takes to choose a paper, a pen, an ink, contemplate a subject that might fit the physical space of a letter, then write and address the thing, put a stamp on it, put it in the mailbox etc. is just not within most people's routines and schedules. But that's why a letter is special.

That being said, I have some FPN pen friends and of course, they're great at returning letters!

Doug

I love corresponding... Email, hand written doesn't matter to me. Sure somethings are better suited to real pen and paper, but email has an immediacy about it.

Either way is fine as long as I get a response now and then so I at least know the letters/emails arrived.

I've got a couple pen and paper things to write in the next while.

I just remembered the story about a parent who couldn't get his away at college kid to write back or stay in touch. He finally wrote a letter and mentioned in the last line that he hoped the enclosed check would come in handy - and then did not enclose a check. Needless to say there was an immediate response from the student! Might be a way to stimulate a response from those we write to. /Craig

I'd say the second.. But then again I've got 5 letters awaiting reply right now and have been corresponding with about 20 people for about 20 years now. Along the way there have been bunches of people who stopped after one or two letters, some others don't write for months. Don't worry about it just get involved with the Snail mail here at FPN.


Give me a PM if you'd like to exchange letters.


Kurt

Maybe its time to send them a fountain pen too !
you know to get them into the mood ...and follow the style of the legendary muse !

My mother always kept up a lively correspondence with some of her cousins and aunts. When my mother died, I kept up this correspondence. Now all these dear old people have passed away and none of the younger members of our family will answer a letter. They won't even maintain an e-mail correspondence. Their communication skills don't go beyong the telephone. My mother's generaltion HAD to write letters (even if they didn't especially like writing) in order to communicate. Today there are so many ways to communicate that there is no need for anyone to write unless they really like writing.

Anyway, I doubt that there's anything amiss with the letters you write. There a simple explanation for lack of response - there are those who like to write and those who don't, and you probably haven't yet discovered people who like to write.

If you haven't already made a post in the Snail Mail thread, you might want to consider doing that. Also - if there's someone on FPN that you think you might enjoy corresponding with, send them a PM. Also - you might enjoy participating in one of the circulating journals.

Judybug

Hi,
As far as I'm concerned, I like writting. HDoug has already summed up my thought on that matter. A letter is something "special", and it is, imho, the best way to express your consideration to those you love and who are important to you. My main issue is the time. As it as already been said, writting a letter takes time...but it is part of the charm, and that's what makes a letter so special. That's what make them dear to me...the fact that I know that someone did take that time to write to me (and everything involved in the process of writting) makes me so happy...

Here is my personnal experience.
I have been writting to a friend of mine for over a year. I must have sent about 20 letters...and I've never even once received a single reply. She and I have very few free time, due to our studies, so I don't blame her for not answering. And even though we do talk to each other from time to time, she hardly says anything about it. Of course, it is sometimes a bit hard, and I'm sure you did ask yourself the question "Did I bore her/him with my letter? Was she/he at least happy to receive it?" For me, the second question is all that matters. Who are you writting for? For you? Or for the person the letter will be sent to? Even though she doesn't reply, I do know that she is happy to receive them, and that's enough for me... and that's why I'll keep writting, for friendship's sake, and as a proof of the deep affection and consideration I have for her.
I know what I just wrote looks stupid, but as I said it is just my personal experience and it involves no one but me. I just wanted to share my personnal point of view on that matter, nothing more, so don't get mad at me if you find my way of doing things totally absurd

Yours,
Shinichiro.

P.S.: Excuse me for my bad english... I'm not used to writting long letters in english

What you have written does not look stupid to me. It makes perfect sense. Being a friend isn't about you. It about the other person and being there for them. Receiving your letters seems to be just what she needs and she is fortunate to have you as a friend. /Craig

@CraigR:
Thx CraigR I guess you are right, but sometimes, it is just a little bit hard to know if you're doing the "right" thing...

To return to the original topic, I think I may have a part of an answer. For this, I'll continue my story for just a little bit. A few days ago, I gave her a letter in which I thanked her for a wonderful afternoon we spent together. Today, we stumbled across each other at lunch time (I was leaving and she was arriving) and exchanged a few words. And she thanked me for my letter, with a warm smile, and she added that she wanted to reply, but that she felt too ridiculous when in front of her desk, and so she backed up. But you see, for me, that warm smile of hers on her face was the best reply she could have ever made.

That's it... I think some people might have the same reaction as hers, and might back up as well. I don't have the pretension to give you any advice, because "advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill" (J.R.R. Tolkien, in LoTR), but here's just my thought: If the people you're writting to are dear to you, I think you should continue. Besides, that will give you the opportunity to use your favorite fountain pen

Hope I've been able to help a little,
Yours ever,
Shinichiro.

Something I never thought of before and Shinichiro's reply made me think of it: many people avoid writing because they think they do it badly. They think they look stupid or not sufficiently literate. How can you bust 'em loose from a rut like that?

I have a friend who moved away years ago. I e-mail him all the time. He rarely replies. I jolted him once with a snail letter. I used a cartridge pen with a fine nib. The letter started in blue for a paragraph. Then I popped out the blue cartridge and put in a red one. The color gradually changed to purple, red-violet, maroon, ox blood and finally fire-engine red. Then I switched to green. The color gradually went to a nasty gray and then to gray-green and finally green. Brown was next. Things began to look curiouser and curiouser. Hah! The guy called me on the phone. "How the hell did you do that?" He replies more often now.

Paddler

What a good idea, Paddler....I've just been sent a load of freebie Diamine carts, and I haven't got many pens which will take them.... my friends had better watch out for some rainbow snail mail

Although I don't know if I can write that much in one letter!

If you use a pen with a fine nib, it takes the colors longer to "fight it out" in the feed -- the color change is more gradual.

Make a rough draft of the letter. Keep adding to it as you think of more to write about. When you have enough, make the final copy with the different colors.

Paddler

I don't think I'd want to do that, Paddler....I tend to write (personal letters) as I speak, mostly spontaneously, and wouldn't want to change that... it just seems more 'personal', even if less 'tidy'!

Postings like this are different...one can go back and amend, cut & paste, remove typos, etc, and no-one is the wiser.
I spend much more time deliberating over my postings(andeven my emails) than my snail-mail, as I usually know much less about the readers (of the first two)and the likelihood of their misunderstanding me!

But I do like the idea of the ink colours' gradually changing

I would just like to say thank you everyone for your comments, and to PMs regarding snail mail. My faith in writing letters is restored!

Oh WOW, I love the idea of purposely switching ink cartridges mid-way through a letter for the blend effect! I've enjoyed it when it happens by necessity (cart dies in the middle of a letter and you've just GOTTA keep going), but I never thought of doing it purposely.

Cooooooool.

IF you use a dipping nib instead of a fountain pen then the color of the line changes throught being darker when dipped and lighter when near empty.

OH man! There are a few people who might be able to talk me into using bottled inks for a pen with a bladder or a converter, but I can't dip. Experiments have been disastrous!

I tended to not write letters for a few reasons.

Didn't think I had anything special to write about.
(I still don't)

Hated writing letters.

Embarrassed because of my handwriting, mostly,
I guess.

Started writing letters in earnest about six weeks ago-
I quit smoking and need something to do with my hands.

Letter writing seemed perfect since I have nice
pens, great ink, and wonderful paper.

My handwriting still isn't great much of the time, mostly because of
my arthritis, but I don't think folks will care, as
long as they are able to read it. When it gets so bad
I don't think they can I stop until my hands don't hurt so much.

I've written more letters in the last six weeks than I have
in the last 20 years. I wish I was writing to all of
my dear ones that used to write me but they are all gone.

So ... I am writing to those loved ones I still have and hope they
appreciate my letters as much as I've appreciated others
in the past.


They won't write back but that is okay.

They know I am thinking of them and missing them and
that is what is really important to me.

My feelings are that if you like, use and collect fountain pens, then why the hell not use them for writing letters? For hundreds of years before we were burdened with email, Instant messengers and the like, people sat down and took the time to write a letter to each other on a regular basis. It was the only way they kept in touch with each other. The electronic age has made personal communication so impersonal. I use email and instant messenger and even text message once in a while, but I write letters and look forward to getting them in the mail.

I make an attempt to reply to all letters on a timely basis even when my professional and personal life are busy. For me writing letters is part of my personal therapy and getting a chance to use my pens to put my feelings, latest adventures and thoughts on paper helps clear my mind and assess my current state of affairs in a more comprehensive way.

I am a member of the snails list on another web site and new people join all the time but very few of them return a snail I send them or I'll hear from them once and then they fade into oblivion. A couple of them still actively post here and/or on Pentrace and seem to have plenty of time to surf the web but don't write back so I feel that writing letters is just not their bag or they feel other things have a higher priority.

I understand people lead busy lives these days and have families and such, but you either make time for things or you don't. That is a clear and conscious choice each of us makes. I joined the snails list on Pentrace over two years ago and have maintained correspondence with over 10 people. Interestingly enough 2 or 3 of my long term correspondences developed completely outside of Pentrace and resulted as a coincidental reply or transaction on ebay or elsewhere that subsequently led to a letter and now we correspond on a regular basis.

As other people have reflected, some of the people I write letters to may take a month or two or even longer to write back and that is okay with me. A couple have had health problems and I understand that completely, there but for the grace of God go I.

My daughter and I even write letters to each other. She is an avid writer and an English major and loves writing. She sometime uses a ball point pen, but I can overlook that because she still wrote me a letter and that means more than anything else to me. Very few kids these days write letters and she started doing that with other people before she ever left home to go to college.

So write those letters and if they don't write back, maybe send them one more and if they still don't reply, then scratch them off the list and try writing someone else. Anyone who writes me a letter will get a reply. I travel a lot and the mail takes a bit longer to catch up to me. But I will return a letter to each one I receive even if it takes a while.

Well, I just recently wrote a letter to a friend who lost her hustband a year ago. I wrote and sent it in the week he died. When I spoke to her the other day she told me she was so overwhelmed with emotions when she received it and read the letter. I picked a nice paper and placed a waxseal on the envelope. It was so good to hear she really appriciated it. Hearing that someone says thanks for the letter is enough, they don't have to write back if they don't want to... For me it was maybe an hour of my time to write it and I enjoyed every minute of it although sometimes it was a bit difficult to find the right words...

Besides that I've got a few snailmailers from FPN and I just joined the postcardswap.
I try to write back when I receive a letter/postcard but sometimes I just need a few days before answering.

I find it very relaxing to write a letter/postcard with my fountainpens. It's a moment of winding down, taking time for myself. Like others said before we live in a hectic world where everything must be done quickly so taking time to write on paper with a fountainpen is quality time for me.

I agree Defacto..............

Con, your project writing your loved ones sounds lovely. Congratulations on quitting smoking, too. That's a big achievement.

As for the original question here that I neglected to answer before (!): I think cakibler's got it. You either make time for things or you don't. A lot of people like the idea of writing a letter but the hardest part, I think, is just sitting down and getting started.

I always respond to letters, usually within a week and often sooner during summer and on vacations, but when I have waited longer than a week, it is usually because 1) I'm in a really busy season with work and 2) I feel the letter deserves a longer response than I have time to give it. However, having been on the other end (WHY is this person not writing back??) I understand that it's better to write a short letter immediately, and keep the correspondence going.

But I also write many, many letters a week (particularly in the summer), and I'm used to sending out 20-30 and receiving 1-2 per week. For a lot of the people, I write just because I love them and they love the letters, and some of them even email me in response, I read the emails, and write letters back.

When you find someone who will write you back in a timely fashion, especially someone whose letters really resonate with you, treasure it!