Hijack hijack hijack ... sorry ...

Interesting points about the law, thanks to all! I think I'm a different breed from most law applicants -- I'm 42 years old; have 20 years of other careers behind me; attended an Ivy-caliber institution for my MA and for doctoral studies. I'm disappointed (hugely) in my LSAT score (haven't taken a standardized test in TWO DECADES!) but won't be able to improve that now (too late) so I'm not in the market for schools above, roughly, ranked 45 or 50-ish, depending on soft factors.
My take on it is: without further certs, my only option is to continue to borrow money annually from mom and dad, work two jobs, have a "salaried" position which offers less than $20K a year and yet requires me to dress like a rich man, attend events across the country by paying out of my own pocket for airfare and fancy schmancy hotels which my salary simply cannot cover, have to have a second job waiting tables in order to (A.) have enough money to afford to go to my first job and (B.) get free food so I don't have to pay for it so I can have enough money to afford to go to my first job; or ...
Or, I can get something -- an MBA? a JD? another MA? -- which will make me more marketable. Honestly, from my point of view, the "bi-modal distribution curve" of law salaries (I've seen that article, but thanks for bringing it up anyway) looks like two pieces of a wedding cake, one big and the other bigger.

One bell of typical law salaries is, relative to my experience, obscenely high; while the other bell is just obscenely higher. Each is literally more than twice what I have ever made in my life. I wouldn't complain.
I guess it all comes down to expectations. I do hope to "do well" at law school, but I can't guarantee being in the top 5% of my class, regardless of the school I would attend. If by some bizarre stroke of luck I got into UNC or Duke or Northwestern or U Chicago, I'd be just as bright as most of the students, with just as much study skill, but probably a lot less chutzpah and energy, given my age. I just can't do all-nighters any more. And yet, alternatively, if I go to Cooley or Florida Coastal or Touro, I'm still only equally likely to be top or bottom of the class as I would be at an Ivy. Way back when, I was
magna cum laude at a small liberal arts undergrad institution I viewed as good enough that I chose it over attending Harvard (I won't identify it for needs of internet anonymity; let's say it's in the league of Amherst Williams etc.), so maybe I'm good at schoolwork, but it's been two decades. Same thing for the LSAT.
I don't "really really want" to be a lawyer. I admit it! Rather, I really really want a "jump start" to my career. I can't go on being surrounded by the idle rich who don't need money, who then turn around and treat me as though I'm venal and money-grubbing for the mere fact of asking them to cover the bill at an expensive restaurant which I can't afford, to which they invited me, to which I had to attend for work required functions, and all the while they're making over $100K as "director of a non-profit" (read: major donor to the institution) and I'm making less than $20K as the Publicist (read: does the Director's work for him, they couldn't function without me, but I don't get paid squat). I'm the "typically impoverished humanities professional." I choose the exit strategy.
And yet I hate business. I took the GMAT, found it obscenely easy, could probably do quite well in MBA studies, and yet would not really want to spend any more time than necessary in Finance or Personnel. I really think I'm going to end up doing criminal law (prosecution!), or using my JD to "help make society a better place" without actually practicing law, by working in some field where I think it's a Good Thing To Do. So my dreams don't really include the big-law or litigation or corporate finance. I don't really understand Economics (do a search, you'll see that I'm posting on that very topic elsewhere at FPN) and, in fact, of all the straight-As that I got in undergrad, it was the one for which the information just ... didn't ... stick to me. It's full of falsehoods and lies. Humans are not acquisitive by nature. People tend to share when given the chance. We're all closet Marxists.

Just look at how dad acted at the Thanksgiving table: "Little Billy doesn't get any turkey until after he shows me why I should give him some! He didn't paint the house, so I'm only offering him potatoes. Suzie got As and Bs in school, but since I personally can't exchange As and Bs for anything useful, grades not being a fungible commodity, I'm not giving Little Suzie any turkey either! I own the turkey, I keep the turkey until someone BUYS the turkey from me with something of value! Now, who wants to invest in turkey futures?" No, I don't think so.
I'm glad people have offered me some advice. I have really heard a lot of the similar line before, but I'm not exactly of the same status as most people who need to hear that advice. And yes I do agree, many kids go straight into a JD program without really considering whether it's right for them. Most are of the sort who got a humanities or politically oriented social science undergrad BA, don't know what they want to do with their life, and are looking about for greater status and pay than they'd get in some of the positions I've had to take throughout my non-starter of a career. I can't blame 'em. If I'd known that "we do it for the love, not the money" is just code for "Well, *I* get a lot of money, but I don't want *YOU* to get a lot of money," I would never have gone into a field which I thought I loved.
Further, my experience with what little law I've studied, has been totally invigorating. I *LOVED* preparing for the LSAT, and (my real score not withstanding) look forward to teaching it for a Test Prep company. There's reality and factuality to the decisions one makes, rather than just woofly-waffly "it seems to feel right" type of decision-making. I enjoy digging through Justice Marshall's decisions, I think more clearly and more "like a lawyer" than anyone I know -- most lawyer family friends included. It's 'tailor made' for the mind I was already born with. I'm disappointed in myself for not having found it sooner.
I do recognize the warnings many have given about the salary bubbles. Plenty of people think, "Oh, I'll do fine as a lawyer." Then they take debt and don't get an eventual salary that justifies that debt. Me, I'm seeing that equation already. I did the whole "go deeply into debt for no good reason as part of an academic program" thing once already. Medieval vernacular bibliography anyone?
Thanks again. Feel free to PM me further!
Now then, Carolina Blue ...
http://northcarolina.rivals.com/