A limerick has 5 lines. 1, 2, and 5 rhyme; 3 and 4 rhyme. How about this one . . .

There once was a horse named Blaze
Who stood in the pasture to graze.
When the grass was all gone
He sang a short song,
This talented horse named Blaze.

(OK, I guess this is cheating since lines 1 and 5 end with the same word.)

Judybug

He was a collector of pens
Kept them in boxes and bins
Til discovered by spouse
Hidden all o'er the house
Now they're notifying his next of kin

Let's see...................

Man from Peru
Man from Nantucket
Lady from Niger
Lady from GitGat
Farmer named Dave

Nope.... I don't know any limericks suitable for "mixed" company.

Andy

Here's another one ---


He's a rough and rowdy cow poke.
He's forever and always broke.
With all good cheer
He bums your beer,
Then declares you a generous bloke.


Judybug

I scibble the words really fast.
A great idea has amassed.
I'm writing and writing,
My nails I am biting.
Oops, the moment has past.

Not bad, guys! Wish I had the knack.

Was talking with my roommate the other day about my major and moaning about how it is impossible to use most of the really neat words you must use in bio or chem. That got me to thinking about warning labels on chemicals. Wouldn't be a scream to write limerick MSDSs and labels? Actually, it shouldn't be that hard as many of the Latin-based words (as are so populous in science) have the same endings. Maybe not so many words rhyme with death, but inflammation and ingest? Well, I think it would be hilarious.

That would be a hoot!! Here's one minus Latin - which I studied in high school and promptly forgot.


These pills will relieve your pain,
They’ll make you feel right as rain.
If they make you cry
Or cause you to die,
You’re warned, so please don’t complain.


Come on, arbatrmwc, write one for us in Latin!

Judybug

These are hilarious!!!! I used to write a few but I don't think I would put them up here.

Take these metformin with water
not pilsner nor hefwiesen nor porter.
Always with food
So you're in a good mood
With grapefruit, you never should oughter.

Ingest your daily diuretic
as instructed by your personal medic.
Leave enough time to flee
to the bathroom to pee
but your BP will be copacetic.

Your blood glucose test is a zinger
like torture, it is a dead ringer
It's over the top
when you bleed a big drop
after you stick the pin in your finger.

(about a marathoner)

There was a young man name of Dave
Who didn't know how to behave;
He wore his short shorts
Off of the courts
"Hey! Nice Legs", lustful women did rave.

There once was a guy on this board
His collection was mostly a hoard
He researched all night
pouring over this site
And found a direction to go toward


(figured I HAD to come up with something...every other limerick I know I really can't share:P)

All the best ones I know aren't really appropriate for a family forum. I thought I would write one, but the easiest ones to mind were all the same way.

So...I wrote a limerick about writing a limerick. How's that?

It's hard to pen a clean limerick,
Each word that I write I must nick.
To dirty words there's no end
But I must not offend,
And the effort itself makes me sick!!

A divorce much raddled and used,
About her own figure enthused:
"It's deliciously curved
And quite nicely preserved,"
And millions of men were amused.

This limerick was one of the great mistakes of my life. Although I wrote it about ten years ago, the target reminds me about it a length EVERY time I see her.

Their was a nibmeister from Cork,
Who spread people's nib tines like a fork.
It got him in trouble
With folks seeing double,
But was handy for cabbage and pork.