Knowledge Versus Ignorance

[Cryptos]

Now that I have your attention...

 

 

... but seriously, folks.

 

Something occurred to me while looking through the Snail Mail Writing List. In general, if one starts a conversation with a stranger, one generally knows nothing about that person and the conversation tends to be shaped and informed by our skills in interrogating listening to the other person and our ability to draw forth information. However, in the Snail Mail Writing List willing participants often post a kind of CV (resumé).

 

Does anybody else feel this takes away a little bit of the fun of discovery? I certainly do, but I am not wedded to the idea in itself and do not criticize those who wish to enter the Mailing Game armed with a little extra knowledge.

 

So, when it comes to writing to new correspondence partners, do you prefer:

 

• Knowledge

 

OR

 

• Ignorance

Edited October 1, 2014 by Cryptos

[PaganArcher]

Knowledge.

 

I'm a terrible people person who doesn't enjoy talking about themselves at length so I like knowing a little about them, especially of a common interest to break the ice. From there, it can grow organically moving to new topics and interests.

[Kosmic-kowgirl]

Knowlege, it helps to start the conversation and grows from there

[sharonspens]

Knowledge. I don't simply select names and start correspondence with random people.

[Cryptos]

Subsidiary question: If you (general "you") prefer to know something about your intended correspondence partner in advance, does this also apply to face-to-face conversations with (relatively) random strangers you may meet during your natural day?

Edited October 1, 2014 by Cryptos

[OcalaFlGuy]

I don't need any multi-page bio but I'd like some basic likes and dislikes.

 

I think people generally do good jobs on our snail mail listee bios. Just enough but not too much.

 

Bruce in Ocala, Fl

[Federalist Pens]

I prefer them to have the knowledge of my ignorance!

 

I write to both types for any and all reasons....

It's fun to correspond with "Pen Pals"!

 

 

Frank

[ac12]

Knowledge will help you connect in a way that you may never connect with otherwise.

If you don't ask the right questions, you will never get those interests to surface.

[Cryptos]

Yes, but you see the direction I have taken to get here?

 

In a conversation in, say, a bar, with a random person, you don't have any information at all apart from the fact that you are in the same place and that they - presumably - look congenial. And yet most people have, I imagine, no difficulty having such a conversation. I wondered why writing letters to new recipients should be any different.

 

Personally I limit myself to gender and location, but that's probably because I don't really have any specific subjects to avoid, nor any particular areas of expertise or interest to parade. In the dictionary under "Dullard" it says "See Cryptos"

[Paddler]

If you don't start with a little knowledge, you are going to begin writing to too many people who don't give as good as they get. The conversations begin to dry up and pretty soon you get one-liners, like, "Hey, good one! Keep 'em coming!"

[Ernst Bitterman]

Moderate knowledge. There should be some hook to hang the correspondence on, and to avoid it being a mere brief exchange of threats (if the Snail Thread post includes "I am strongly in favour of sterilization for unorthodox political viewpoints, and I would like a raging argument with someone on this topic" you at least know where you stand).

 

On the other hand, too much knowledge undercuts the whole point of the correspondence, since there's little left to discover about the correspondent. Plus, remember the old college motto-- Ex Ignorantia Ad Sapientiam; Ex Luce Ad Tenebras

[Runnin_Ute]

I like to have at least some knowledge. I don't think the "random person in a (favorite face to face social context)" is a very good analogy personally. In that context, you may have seen that person there on one or more occasion - whether you spoke with them or not. The information you have is different but no less real.

 

I like to know if there is more than just a mutual interest in pens in common, because that won't last. Are we of the same generation? This is a minor thing to me generally as I have (or had) pen pals ranging in age from Junior High School age to 70+. Is there some other interest that is common to both. Like Bruce said, most of the information given is "just right" in terms of how much. You use that as a jump start to the letters and what you find out over time.

[WaskiSquirrel]

I like some knowledge. For example, knowing that a few of those I correspond with are teachers helps us find common ground. Knowing which ones life in cities and which are rural is great.

 

I pointed out in my CV that my Christian faith is important. A serious atheist might be offended by me, or might offend me.

 

A little basic knowledge gets the conversation started. It then moves on from there.

[Cryptos]

In a bar a conversation is struck. A few remarks about the weather, the local <insert sport of choice> teams latest result, perhaps an inquiry into respective work fields, or family - all which may lead to a repeat conversation or a cheery "nice to have met you" and exit stage left.

 

Snail Mail Writing List is the same?

 

I hadn't thought of it that way, as I was blinded by the different communication mediums - talking versus writing - where writing is perceived (in my tiny little mind at least) as somehow more serious, possibly permanent and requiring more thought than off the cuff verbal remarks.

 

Kind of makes the OP question look a bit stoopid!

Sorry folks.

[Just I]

I like some information - it gives me an idea if I will get along with someone and a starting place for the conversation.

 

I don't know of any situation where I start a "real" conversation with a complete stranger. (A real conversation being equivalent what I am looking for in a pen-pal letter vs a letter from the Starbucks customer service.)

 

At work, at the very least I know their occupation and usually more than that from Linked-in, a resume or briefing from a co-worker. At the gym, I know right away that they are at least interested in health and usually a bit more than that based what area they are working out and what they are wearing. Even dating (at least the kind I do) is done online now so you get a pretty good idea about who you are going to be talking to and if you have interests in common.

[Just I]

In a bar a conversation is struck. A few remarks about the weather, the local <insert sport of choice> teams latest result, perhaps an inquiry into respective work fields, or family - all which may lead to a repeat conversation or a cheery "nice to have met you" and exit stage left.

 

Snail Mail Writing List is the same?

 

I hadn't thought of it that way, as I was blinded by the different communication mediums - talking versus writing - where writing is perceived (in my tiny little mind at least) as somehow more serious, possibly permanent and requiring more thought than off the cuff verbal remarks.

I agree completely. Even texting and email writing can potentially be permanent and a bit of extra thought is always a good idea.

*

[Behike54]

knowledge helps as a starting point, but understanding only comes with time and commitment.

 

That said, you can have the same interests, but they can be expressed or enjoyed differently.

 

I love film. All kinds and styles, from all over the world. My tastes vary from the eclectic to the mainstream; but the films that stick with me, are probably appreciated by most, but probably not met with much enthusiasm.

 

Another thing about knowing something about someone is that you may end up connecting with someone NOT because of mutual interests but the way they express themselves. Humor, intellect, sensibilities, etc. These can draw me to someone just as much, if not more, than shared personal interests. For instance, I really enjoy getting to know about someone, where they live, their culture, etc.

 

This may be a little to black & white for my tastes. I am one who believes that the more we try to define ourselves or others, the possibility exists we limit that which we share. It's how these things come about with another is where the magic, as it were, happens.

[sirgilbert357]

I love the idea of Pen Pals and the Snail Mail exchange, but I fear someone would have to take the initiative to mail a letter to me first, LOL. I'm no good at starting conversations, but I can keep them going no problem...usually. There has to be substance...I don't mind small talk, but a deep conversation is much more gratifying. I haven't had a deep conversation with a "thinker" in a long time. I miss that quite a bit. I tend to dive right in if the other party seems receptive, which may surprise them.

[Sasha Royale]

Clear and tidy penmanship is critical. However, embracing eloquently vague terms on paper is pretentious and opstropulous.

It hinders communication with new acquaintances. Write like you talk. How would you talk to a person you meet at a luncheon ?

Offer small pieces of info about yourself, then see how the other person responds.

 

Remember, it isn't english composition class. It's a friendly chat. In a chat, LISTENING gleans as much information as interrogation.

 

Sooooooooo, what do you use for letter writing ? Why did you choose this particular stamp ? What's for breakfast ? I got a new

omelet pan. I am practicing the technique for flufy, french omelets. Mushroom ! Tomorrow, I gonna add mushrooms.

[Just I]

I love the idea of Pen Pals and the Snail Mail exchange, but I fear someone would have to take the initiative to mail a letter to me first, LOL. I'm no good at starting conversations, but I can keep them going no problem...usually. There has to be substance...I don't mind small talk, but a deep conversation is much more gratifying. I haven't had a deep conversation with a "thinker" in a long time. I miss that quite a bit. I tend to dive right in if the other party seems receptive, which may surprise them.

I agree 100%! Real conversations, real connecting is where it is at for me always. The hard part for me can be getting there, i find people are often afraid of debate and opinions that differ. They judge and take offense rather than listen. Because I don't like hurting people, I am careful and think I miss out on a lot of potentially great conversations. :-)