Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm

[Blue_Moon]

Do you think, sometimes, people say nice things about their pen because they're trying to convince themselves that it's nice, when they really don't like it?

[The Blue Knight]

I've been guilty of that. I will only give a serious opinion on a pen a few months after I have bought it. When you have spent £xx or £xxx on a pen it sometimes can be hard to except it isn't very good.

[jar]

It seems to happen but I find it very hard to understand.

[bullet08]

it's makes them feel better about themselves. i've known enough people who can never admit that they were wrong in any possibly way.

 

edit: can't spell. can't really write either.

Edited September 16, 2014 by bullet08

[TheGreatRoe]

Do you think, sometimes, people say nice things about their pen because they're trying to convince themselves that it's nice, when they really don't like it?

 

If you make a very minor change to your question, you have a rhetorical question about human behaviour.

 

Do you think, sometimes, people say nice things about their _________ because they're trying to convince themselves that it's nice, when they really don't like it?

[saskia_madding]

Exactly. This is a phenomenon that happens about all sorts of things, not just pens. People rationalize stuff away when they don't want to deal with it. <shrug> I think it's a good coping mechanism for some people, who don't know how to deal any other way. Usually it's temporary, a band aid until they have managed to process the real emotion underneath.

[holgalee]

I think it may have to do with what I call the "emperor's new clothes" instinct, especially if others think that the pen is great. Sometimes it has to do with buyers' remorse as well, especially if the pen is expensive or more costly than the buyer would have preferred to spend. Hence the need to convince oneself and others that it's a good pen.

Edited September 16, 2014 by holgalee

[jvr]

Happens everywhere, esp. when people paid a lot of money. That's for example why everybody likes their Leica cameras and their Montblanc pens.

[Davros]

I think it is more than that. Sometimes, we decide how we feel about things by trying on attitudes, and seeing how well they fit. It isn't necessarily dishonesty. It also works the other way, where people like things they "shouldn't". I suspect it is a way to resolve cognitive dissonance.

[Ted A]

If a new pen puts ink on the paper without any stress it will be the greatest thing that I've every written with for the first couple of weeks. Then I'll start to become more even-handed in my thoughts about it.

 

I also tend to be somewhat of a contrarian (elitist maybe) when it comes to pens that others rave about. And I sometimes try to find reasons to be critical.

 

But, yes, if I spent a lot on a pen, I will try to convince myself that I didn't make a bone-headed purchase. And sometimes it becomes true as I learn how to use the pen. And sometimes I am able to admit that it was simply bone-headed.

[ISW_Kaputnik]

As others are pointing out, it's a very human trait to try to justify one's decisions. It's also possible to have a great first impression of a pen, and only realize its faults later. Then it may be embarrassing for some people to post an update with their changed opinion.

 

To be fair, there are any number of threads here started by people who bought an expensive pen and are disappointed with it. There's a thread around here somewhere, near the top in recent days, on what pens have most disappointed us. Looking at it, I saw that I'd mentioned one of my more pricey pens near the start of it, and it occurred to me that I could have mentioned a couple of others.

 

Whether someone is worked up about how good a pen is, or how bad, I try to keep in mind that many, probably most, of these opinions are based on a sample of one.

[Blue_Moon]

I think it may have to do with what I call the "emperor's new clothes" instinct, especially if others think that the pen is great.

 

I frequently see people talking about how they were convinced to buy a certain pen because of comments on FPN and people spending time on the forum feeling the strong pull to buy more pens, buy a certain more expensive pen than than normally would, etc. It can be a contagion, in that if everyone else is on board with something, most individuals don't want to be left out, so they join the party. Whereas, left alone, they probably would not have made the purchase. However, oftentimes, they buy it, not be that impressed, but if everyone else says it's great, thoughts may enter their head, such as, "Everybody loves it. It must be great. It just has to grow on me. I just have to get used to it." Then they write in the forums how much they like the pen.

 

Then again, the opposite can occur. Some people can say they don't like a certain pen (or anything else), not having any real grounds, based on superficial reasoning, and eventually trying it, they find they like it.

 

I started this thread because I was reading a certain member's comments about the pen he/she bought. I can't really pick out anything in particular, but it just seemed to me that the person was trying to talk him/herself into being enamored with the pen.

[Icywolfe]

Yes, I sorta do that but it's very hard to like certain pens I have. The Ahab and the Lamy Alstar. I keep saying "oh you got a dud..... impossible to have 2 duds in a row tho." And stuff like "you are just using it wrong because 2 million+ people used it before without problem." If I lived on a 20 th story building the Lamy is going out the window first.

 

This is why I can have some really contradicting posts that say "Go get the Alstar it's a great pen then change to my real opinion of the pen that it's bad." I stopped trying to convince I didn't waste money.... because I did.

Edited September 16, 2014 by Icywolfe

[gweimer1]

Nobody likes to admit they made a mistake, on top of spending money to get there. I just got a pen that I thought would be money well spent and something to restore. It won't be for me. I even...shudder...considered spending MORE money to make it seem like a win.

 

In the end, I've decided that I will probably sell a really nice, clean vintage cap that has an ugly wart of a pen hanging off it. And that is pretty much how I will list it.

[Ronchamp]

The best is to find reality is as we have dream. Both my Leica and my Montblanc work as I have dream. If this not happen, we have to correct it although this cost money and annoyance.

[Polanova]

 

If you make a very minor change to your question, you have a rhetorical question about human behaviour.

 

Do you think, sometimes, people say nice things about their _________ because they're trying to convince themselves that it's nice, when they really don't like it?

 

I fear people lie all the time - to themselves & to others. Often unconsciously. Lying about pens is the least of it.

 

 

I frequently see people talking about how they were convinced to buy a certain pen because of comments on FPN and people spending time on the forum feeling the strong pull to buy more pens, buy a certain more expensive pen than than normally would, etc. It can be a contagion, in that if everyone else is on board with something, most individuals don't want to be left out, so they join the party. Whereas, left alone, they probably would not have made the purchase. However, oftentimes, they buy it, not be that impressed, but if everyone else says it's great, thoughts may enter their head, such as, "Everybody loves it. It must be great. It just has to grow on me. I just have to get used to it." Then they write in the forums how much they like the pen.

 

Then again, the opposite can occur. Some people can say they don't like a certain pen (or anything else), not having any real grounds, based on superficial reasoning, and eventually trying it, they find they like it.

 

 

Since I spent more time on the forum, I have to increase my resistance to the temptation to buy any one or more of the usual suspect pens (which I actually don`t need).

[Icywolfe]

 

I frequently see people talking about how they were convinced to buy a certain pen because of comments on FPN and people spending time on the forum feeling the strong pull to buy more pens, buy a certain more expensive pen than than normally would, etc. It can be a contagion, in that if everyone else is on board with something, most individuals don't want to be left out, so they join the party. Whereas, left alone, they probably would not have made the purchase. However, oftentimes, they buy it, not be that impressed, but if everyone else says it's great, thoughts may enter their head, such as, "Everybody loves it. It must be great. It just has to grow on me. I just have to get used to it." Then they write in the forums how much they like the pen.

 

Then again, the opposite can occur. Some people can say they don't like a certain pen (or anything else), not having any real grounds, based on superficial reasoning, and eventually trying it, they find they like it.

 

I started this thread because I was reading a certain member's comments about the pen he/she bought. I can't really pick out anything in particular, but it just seemed to me that the person was trying to talk him/herself into being enamored with the pen.

That is the exact reason why I got the Lamy Alstar. So much praising..... did not deliver in the end. Stock nib had uneven tipping, 2nd nib was super tight in the tines that no light nor ink goes through. (Now fixed it's extremely scratchy.)

 

The opposite does happen and snowball into everyone saying it's a worthless pen.

 

I basically believe in the pen for a week and if it still feels like misbehaving I give up.

Edited September 16, 2014 by Icywolfe

[de_pen_dent]

Happens everywhere, esp. when people paid a lot of money. That's for example why everybody likes their Leica cameras and their Montblanc pens.

 

There is another trait that is common - denigrating others who happen to have different tastes and value preferences. I suspect this sort of reverse snobbery is a way some people have of reassuring themselves about their own choices.

[arcadeflow]

I believe sometimes people will try to say good things about something they recently purchased, they are justifying their buy. Later they may change their mind. But when you are talking about tools, you can take a long time to understand or relate to it. Sometimes you find it amusing and then you realize you can't really use it the way you intended to, or prefer to carry something else. That is why we should consider if people are really experienced with that tool before considering their opinion for themselves.

[PAKMAN]

I think many times we do gush about new pens and people even write reviews in the first few days of ownership. The question about how we feel about a pen should come after several months of use, this is true for reviews also!