Journalling - Paper Or Digital - Privacy Worries

[ScottT]

I'd like to add my opinion to your security concerns.

 

If you do decide to journal on the computer, make backups off of the drive you use, as hard drives fail. They fail, your journal is gone, period.

 

I rather like the advice given by MarneM; secure your journals how you see fit, and if someone is so nosy as to break into your journals, that is a problem that needs fixed immediately.

 

Simplest approach...buy footlocker and buy one of those locks with the circular key. Place journals in footlocker and lock it. Have a paper taped to the inside of the lid stating upon your death, your wishes are for these journals to be destroyed, unread. If they choose not to honor your wishes, that is not your fault.

 

Or...do you have a really solid friend? Put locked footlocker in their care, with appropriate instructions. A small lockable container will do for your current journal, and you can always revisit your old journals when you visit your friend...

 

Whatever you decide, keep writing!

 

Take care,

Scott

[N2theBreach]

Do you feel comfortable letting us know which option you choose? I, for one, am interested in what you decided to do.

 

"No" is a perfectly acceptable answer, too, if you don't feel comfortable.

 

Good luck.

[Runnin_Ute]

Being that it is January 1, 2013 15:46 MT (GMT-7) as I write this, I hope my $.02 isn't to late.

 

Personally, I think you should keep them. I have a journal that I did fairly regularly, but wish I had done more so from October 1979 to September 1981. I pulled it out about a week or so ago and read some things out of it. Some of them were just silly. Others were things I wouldn't have a problem sharing with others and have done so on a number of occasions. This was a time in my life where I was doing some service to my church (unpaid) and my whole life was focused on that. My biggest regret was that I didn't do nearly enough. I sometimes went weeks without an entry. I know I had more significant things happen during that period of time than what that journal shows. I keep that particular journal on a publicly displayed bookshelf in my home. I rarely pull it out. But think of it this way, I was a young adult (ages 21-23) and I might have felt a little bit the way you do about some of those entries at some time in the past. There was a young lady that I was dating prior to my service starting, that I did not see for two years- our only communication was a series of weekly letters. At some time after I got home, we separated (she was in the US Air Force when I got home) as trying the long distance thing didn't work any longer. One day after she met someone else, who she later married she dropped off all those letters that we exchanged. I have them in a bunch of boxes in my basement. (I think) I know I haven't read them since they were written. It would be interesting to find out what I wrote to her about during that period of time.

[hankosaurus]

...Another option could be to learn shorthand...

 

I am thinking the very same thing. I remember back in the 50's my mother writing shorthand with a green Esterbrook pen something like this:

Green Pen

 

I wonder how hard it would be to learn to write in shorthand. I can imagine mixing shorthand with one's second language... then mixing in a bit of cursive just to really boggle the readers' minds.

 

Compelling things about ink and paper include how it is that the data-stream between pen point and paper is not easily tapped, and data is not lost through a system crash. Anything typed into a computer can be tapped and or lost, including these very words, I suppose.

 

Edited January 2, 2013 by hankosaurus

[Paddler]

Being that it is January 1, 2013 15:46 MT (GMT-7) as I write this, I hope my $.02 isn't to late.

 

Personally, I think you should keep them. I have a journal that I did fairly regularly, but wish I had done more so from October 1979 to September 1981. I pulled it out about a week or so ago and read some things out of it. Some of them were just silly. Others were things I wouldn't have a problem sharing with others and have done so on a number of occasions. This was a time in my life where I was doing some service to my church (unpaid) and my whole life was focused on that. My biggest regret was that I didn't do nearly enough. I sometimes went weeks without an entry. I know I had more significant things happen during that period of time than what that journal shows. I keep that particular journal on a publicly displayed bookshelf in my home. I rarely pull it out. But think of it this way, I was a young adult (ages 21-23) and I might have felt a little bit the way you do about some of those entries at some time in the past. There was a young lady that I was dating prior to my service starting, that I did not see for two years- our only communication was a series of weekly letters. At some time after I got home, we separated (she was in the US Air Force when I got home) as trying the long distance thing didn't work any longer. One day after she met someone else, who she later married she dropped off all those letters that we exchanged. I have them in a bunch of boxes in my basement. (I think) I know I haven't read them since they were written. It would be interesting to find out what I wrote to her about during that period of time.

I was drafted into the Army (1969 - 1971). I tried to write to my mother at least once per week so she wouldn't worry about me. She used to read some of them to her 6th grade school children. They would practically fall out of their chairs laughing at the crazy things a barracks full of young, bored men can get up to when all they have to do is polish shoes and shine brass. My mother is gone these many years now and I inherited all those letters. She kept them in a fire resistant safe. There are 72 of them. I can read one of those letters and think of several more events that took place at the same time that I didn't write about.

 

So read those letters. Each one could be a worthy goad to your memory.

[chud]

No method of security is going to be 100% certain. You can, however, get pretty close, and it's really a tradeoff between security and ease of access (and expense, to some extent).

 

Computer files can be encrypted, and modern encryption is really very good. NSA-proof? Maybe, that's debatable. Anything less than NSA, proof? Yes... but, you have to use the encryption tools correctly. If you don't, you can leave vulnerabilities without realizing it, so there's some work in educating yourself about how these things work and understanding how to apply the tools securely. (As someone said, the password protection built into Word is just enough to stop the honest people, maybe - no more.)

 

Paper journals are best locked, and of course there are a lot of ways to do that; spend more money on a better safe, and it's more secure. You can take this all the way up to spending a LOT of money on a safe that's REALLY secure.

 

But is it worth it? I doubt you're worried about the NSA, so somewhere there's a balance where you have enough security to defeat the prying eyes you're worried about without breaking the bank or making it a day-long process for you to retrieve them yourself.

 

A safe-deposit box is probably one of the best suggestions. It's disposition after you die is still a bit of an issue, but that one's going to be very difficult to get around anyway. You could leave instructions for your attorney that they be destroyed upon your death, but if your estate goes through probate or there is any contest regarding the disposition of your estate then the court will probably require that they be preserved until it's satisfied that they are not relevant to the probate process, and you'll have to trust the court to respect your wishes regarding disclosure.

 

My guess is that a sturdy box with a quality lock will probably be plenty secure - but that's just a guess.

[Citygirl]

No method of security is going to be 100% certain. You can, however, get pretty close, and it's really a tradeoff between security and ease of access (and expense, to some extent).

 

Computer files can be encrypted, and modern encryption is really very good. NSA-proof? Maybe, that's debatable. Anything less than NSA, proof? Yes... but, you have to use the encryption tools correctly. If you don't, you can leave vulnerabilities without realizing it, so there's some work in educating yourself about how these things work and understanding how to apply the tools securely. (As someone said, the password protection built into Word is just enough to stop the honest people, maybe - no more.)

 

Paper journals are best locked, and of course there are a lot of ways to do that; spend more money on a better safe, and it's more secure. You can take this all the way up to spending a LOT of money on a safe that's REALLY secure.

 

But is it worth it? I doubt you're worried about the NSA, so somewhere there's a balance where you have enough security to defeat the prying eyes you're worried about without breaking the bank or making it a day-long process for you to retrieve them yourself.

 

A safe-deposit box is probably one of the best suggestions. It's disposition after you die is still a bit of an issue, but that one's going to be very difficult to get around anyway. You could leave instructions for your attorney that they be destroyed upon your death, but if your estate goes through probate or there is any contest regarding the disposition of your estate then the court will probably require that they be preserved until it's satisfied that they are not relevant to the probate process, and you'll have to trust the court to respect your wishes regarding disclosure.

 

My guess is that a sturdy box with a quality lock will probably be plenty secure - but that's just a guess.

 

 

 

Thanks for this, I am still struggling with the decision. The journals I have had scanned would have to be encrypted if I stay with that route as I can't password protect the actual files like I can with Word. With any future computer journalling I would use Word and password protect, I think that would secure enough to put my mind at ease.

 

However, I do still like paper journalling. I do have my old journals in a locked tin but my current one is always in easy access, I would find it a bind to have to unlock it and lock it up after every use. Thats why I wonder about using a paper journal for the non-private stuff and anything else (ie ranting or anything too personal) do on the computer.

[Plume145]

I think you're barking up the wrong tree, personally. I mean you got absolute heaps of great advice here (and I don't mean my tuppence worth, just to be clear), and that's ON TOP of your existing system of hand-writing which by your account, works great at the #1 task this whole journaling thing is for - the therapeutic aspect you mentioned.

 

Beyond that, if you still have difficulties, I think you need to look elsewhere other than the method: at your relationships with these people. If you can't trust them not to go through your private journals - in your own home (it's not like this is communal living where you would be naive not to expect snooping) - without permission - when the journals are put away out of sight, not lying on the freaking coffee table or something...I'd say you can't trust them in your home, period. Certainly not unsupervised, roaming freely - maybe watched like you would the handyman lol, but not making themselves at home like family do. I mean what's next, going through your medical records? Pawing through your laundry for interesting stains? Steaming open your mail? Impersonating you on the phone with the credit card company? Because, hey, that's all curiosity, right, they just wanna know more about you, no harm in that? Yeah, umm, no

 

Look, it's not really up for debate whether a person has the right to keeping their private thoughts private. Not for adults unless they're like in prison or something (maybe). Even for kids, most people nowadays would probably agree that things like what Jeffery Smith's relative did to him when he was young and he got his papers snooped through is just completely out of line (and a d@mn good thing too).

 

As for the posthumous thing...listen, that stuff all happens right here or not at all. If you don't sort out relationships while everyone's alive and of sound mind, trying to micromanage what happens after you die is a waste of time, because 9 times out of 10, it won't work. Besides, even if people read some heat-of-the-moment ranting after you die, it won't make them see you/your relationship in a negative light if you guys sorted things out before you die. Honest face-to-face communication trumps written any day, the problems only start when people don't realize this. I don't know if the man upstairs or the woman in charge have an after-party prepared, but you really can't lose by assuming this here is the main event

[Renfield]

I think you're barking up the wrong tree, personally. I mean you got absolute heaps of great advice here (and I don't mean my tuppence worth, just to be clear), and that's ON TOP of your existing system of hand-writing which by your account, works great at the #1 task this whole journaling thing is for - the therapeutic aspect you mentioned.

 

Beyond that, if you still have difficulties, I think you need to look elsewhere other than the method: at your relationships with these people. If you can't trust them not to go through your private journals - in your own home (it's not like this is communal living where you would be naive not to expect snooping) - without permission - when the journals are put away out of sight, not lying on the freaking coffee table or something...I'd say you can't trust them in your home, period. Certainly not unsupervised, roaming freely - maybe watched like you would the handyman lol, but not making themselves at home like family do. I mean what's next, going through your medical records? Pawing through your laundry for interesting stains? Steaming open your mail? Impersonating you on the phone with the credit card company? Because, hey, that's all curiosity, right, they just wanna know more about you, no harm in that? Yeah, umm, no

 

Look, it's not really up for debate whether a person has the right to keeping their private thoughts private. Not for adults unless they're like in prison or something (maybe). Even for kids, most people nowadays would probably agree that things like what Jeffery Smith's relative did to him when he was young and he got his papers snooped through is just completely out of line (and a d@mn good thing too).

 

As for the posthumous thing...listen, that stuff all happens right here or not at all. If you don't sort out relationships while everyone's alive and of sound mind, trying to micromanage what happens after you die is a waste of time, because 9 times out of 10, it won't work. Besides, even if people read some heat-of-the-moment ranting after you die, it won't make them see you/your relationship in a negative light if you guys sorted things out before you die. Honest face-to-face communication trumps written any day, the problems only start when people don't realize this. I don't know if the man upstairs or the woman in charge have an after-party prepared, but you really can't lose by assuming this here is the main event

 

+1 on pretty much all you said.

 

I tried to say the same thing earlier in the thread.

 

I have teenage daughters, and I know how hard it is to give them privacy. But it has to be done. And anyone who invades someone's privacy doesn't deserve their respect.

[bassmannate]

I agree with the above. It sounds like you keep your journals locked up in some way. This sounds like it should be enough to keep the people most likely to get at them out of them because they would likely have to break locks and make it obvious that someone opened it. If they wish to go on with a relationship with you, that will be enough to keep them out of it no matter how much they like to snoop. If they don't want to continue the relationship, then what are they doing in your home?

 

Bottom line: just don't leave current journals out in plain sight where people can easily get to them and keep the rest locked away.

[Citygirl]

Well last night I decided to get out one of my old journals and read through it to see how I would feel. At first, on reading the entries about caring for my Mum, work related things etc, I thought 'No, I can't get rid of these originals' but then I went onto lets say more 'embarrassing' entries and immediately wanted to purge!

 

I understand what you say about privacy and respect, but some things are out of our control. I once read a true story about a woman who was taken into hospital during the night and her father in law went into her room afterwards to get some stuff for her, her journal was on the bedside table, he read it and used it to taunt her with afterwards, she then resorted to using the computer for any personal entries. I have also had diaries read in the past by someone I worked with when I thought it was safe and secure in my handbag. Things like this do worry me.

[comfortableshoes]

I've kept a journal throughout junior high and continue to do so now, 25 years later. When I was a kid one of my brothers went through my journal and after ratting him out to my mom he never invaded my privacy again. After that I started to use code words for a variety of things I didn't want people to know about. Specific people got code names or icons. I have continued that process through out my journaling. It helped to leave me feeling protected.

 

I did have a girlfriend who went through my journal once while I was in the shower. We were in process of breaking up and I'd written some pretty painful stuff in my journal and she was greatly offended that I hadn't talked to her about the issues we were having. Obviously though it was written at least partially in code she figured out I'd been writing about us. In the end, it was a painful conversation, that obviously we needed to have. We're still sort of friends but she's not someone I can ever trust again.

 

I have always kept my journals in a lock box other than the current journal. When I was younger I had a small lap desk that I installed a lock on. That helped to keep my current journal private. I no longer need to worry about keeping my journals private since my partner wouldn't read my journals without my permission and anything I do write she could read. Currently I keep my journals proudly on a shelf in my studio, they are great examples of my progress and growth as a human being. Granted I really don't want anyone reading those pesky high school journals, that would be embarrassing and yet a truthful reflection into who I was.

[Renfield]

Well last night I decided to get out one of my old journals and read through it to see how I would feel. At first, on reading the entries about caring for my Mum, work related things etc, I thought 'No, I can't get rid of these originals' but then I went onto lets say more 'embarrassing' entries and immediately wanted to purge!

 

I understand what you say about privacy and respect, but some things are out of our control. I once read a true story about a woman who was taken into hospital during the night and her father in law went into her room afterwards to get some stuff for her, her journal was on the bedside table, he read it and used it to taunt her with afterwards, she then resorted to using the computer for any personal entries. I have also had diaries read in the past by someone I worked with when I thought it was safe and secure in my handbag. Things like this do worry me.

 

Going into a colleagues handbag without permission is the same as stealing, gross misconduct, and a dismissal offence.

 

Please tell me you reported this person?

 

And if my father in law did that to me, I would never speak to him again, allow him in my house, or visit his house. Regardless of what my wife or children felt. So he could never taunt me for it, as he would never see me.

 

I trust people, until they loose my trust. Once they loose it, they never regain it. Simple

[ethernautrix]

If anyone read my journals and tried to shame or taunt me, I would make sure he regretted it. One, I'm not going to feel ashamed, but I will be mightily annoyed, and if the taunting continued, I would find the softest spot in his psyche and punch it hard. Twice. The end.

[Citygirl]

Well last night I decided to get out one of my old journals and read through it to see how I would feel. At first, on reading the entries about caring for my Mum, work related things etc, I thought 'No, I can't get rid of these originals' but then I went onto lets say more 'embarrassing' entries and immediately wanted to purge!

 

I understand what you say about privacy and respect, but some things are out of our control. I once read a true story about a woman who was taken into hospital during the night and her father in law went into her room afterwards to get some stuff for her, her journal was on the bedside table, he read it and used it to taunt her with afterwards, she then resorted to using the computer for any personal entries. I have also had diaries read in the past by someone I worked with when I thought it was safe and secure in my handbag. Things like this do worry me.

 

Going into a colleagues handbag without permission is the same as stealing, gross misconduct, and a dismissal offence.

 

Please tell me you reported this person?

 

And if my father in law did that to me, I would never speak to him again, allow him in my house, or visit his house. Regardless of what my wife or children felt. So he could never taunt me for it, as he would never see me.

 

I trust people, until they loose my trust. Once they loose it, they never regain it. Simple

 

 

 

Oh yes I did report the people concerned. They had taken my diary out of my handbag, made photocopies of the pages and passed them round the office. I wasn't aware of this until my manager took me into her office to tell me what had been going on. I was a temporary worker at that place, they were permanent, they never got dismissed. I ended up leaving because I couldn't work with them anymore, though my manager asked me to stay on. It wasn't a good experience. My Mum made me rip my diary up at the time and advised me not to keep one anymore but as years passed I started to keep one again and then went onto journalling. Fortunately nothing such as that experience has happened since.

[ethernautrix]

Having my journal photocopied and shared would take a bit more planning for how they would come to regret it.

 

I'm not a vindictive person (I know I sound like one), but that kind of action deserves a reaction. Maybe I would call their mothers and ask them if they knew they had reared their children wrong.

[comfortableshoes]

Oh yes I did report the people concerned. They had taken my diary out of my handbag, made photocopies of the pages and passed them round the office. I wasn't aware of this until my manager took me into her office to tell me what had been going on. I was a temporary worker at that place, they were permanent, they never got dismissed. I ended up leaving because I couldn't work with them anymore, though my manager asked me to stay on. It wasn't a good experience. My Mum made me rip my diary up at the time and advised me not to keep one anymore but as years passed I started to keep one again and then went onto journalling. Fortunately nothing such as that experience has happened since.

 

UH, as a person in HR it shouldn't have mattered if you were a temp or a FT employee. Taking your personal property is theft. Photocopying and distributing to coworkers private words is harassment. The employee who did the theft and copying should have been termed under that company's harassment policy.

[Runnin_Ute]

Well last night I decided to get out one of my old journals and read through it to see how I would feel. At first, on reading the entries about caring for my Mum, work related things etc, I thought 'No, I can't get rid of these originals' but then I went onto lets say more 'embarrassing' entries and immediately wanted to purge!

 

I understand what you say about privacy and respect, but some things are out of our control. I once read a true story about a woman who was taken into hospital during the night and her father in law went into her room afterwards to get some stuff for her, her journal was on the bedside table, he read it and used it to taunt her with afterwards, she then resorted to using the computer for any personal entries. I have also had diaries read in the past by someone I worked with when I thought it was safe and secure in my handbag. Things like this do worry me.

 

Going into a colleagues handbag without permission is the same as stealing, gross misconduct, and a dismissal offence.

 

Please tell me you reported this person?

 

And if my father in law did that to me, I would never speak to him again, allow him in my house, or visit his house. Regardless of what my wife or children felt. So he could never taunt me for it, as he would never see me.

 

I trust people, until they loose my trust. Once they loose it, they never regain it. Simple

 

 

 

Oh yes I did report the people concerned. They had taken my diary out of my handbag, made photocopies of the pages and passed them round the office. I wasn't aware of this until my manager took me into her office to tell me what had been going on. I was a temporary worker at that place, they were permanent, they never got dismissed. I ended up leaving because I couldn't work with them anymore, though my manager asked me to stay on. It wasn't a good experience. My Mum made me rip my diary up at the time and advised me not to keep one anymore but as years passed I started to keep one again and then went onto journalling. Fortunately nothing such as that experience has happened since.

 

The fact that these people were not terminated (or at least written up - as in written warning not verbal) , regardless of what the manager says tells me you made the right decision to leave. You don't want to work in that kind of environment.

[Citygirl]

Well here is an update. I feel I have (sort of) come to a decision. I had a discussion with my boyfriend earlier, we were talking about keeping things from the past and the subject of diaries came up. I asked him if he would ever be tempted to read my diary and he said no. I am not quite sure that I believe him as he has had a nosy at my phone before now when it fell out of my bag, but he says he would respect my privacy in a diary.

 

It got me thinking about how I do like paper journals but maybe I will write any real meaty stuff on the computer. I tend to mainly journal when I feel down or something has upset me so reading them back I don't get a picture of the good times aswell but I feel I am not disciplined to write every day or too regularly, I have to feel the urge. However, just even writing one line would be helpful and a paper journal is better for that, hardly worth firing up the computer for one line!

 

As for my old journals, after having talked with my boyfriend about this, I don't feel I can shred them. He told me that his ex has always kept a diary and saved them all and he was never tempted to read them. Maybe I am being overdramatic but I can't help it The thing is with the old journals they are now loose leaf after having them scanned. This is handy really as I still feel I wish to remove some entries and at least they are scanned so those entries are still there, but afterwards I want them as books again. Someone on the forum suggested a bookbinder but that may cost me again.

 

Also future handwritten journalling, I am unsure what to use. I could carry on writing in the journal I have already on the go which is page a day A5 diary which I write in as and when and don't keep to the dates, its got a flexible cover so isn't too heavy and cumbersome, but part of me wants to make a fresh start and get something different. I used to write in exercise books as they are light to carry but the covers soon get dog eared and they fill up quickly. Loose leaf paper is also an option but I do prefer writing in a book. Any suggestions would be helpful.

 

As for an appointment diary, I am happy to keep using my phone for that as it gives me reminders and means I don't have to have something else in my handbag.

 

Am feeling sort of relieved that I maybe coming to a decison on this

[View from the Loft]

I find that things always seem better once the decision is made

 

A bookbinder shouldn't cost too much, and will give you those journals back in book format. Costs nothing to phone and ask for a quote.

 

As for you paper journal in the future, use whatever book format you find best. I look for ones with 80 gsm or heavier paper (same weight as standard copy paper as a guide), firm covers (doesn't necessarily need to be hardback) and lays flat when open (it's easier to write on both sides of a page). This is what suits me, but I hope it gives you a few pointers to consider.

 

Lastly, well done for asking your boyfriend. Not an easy conversation to have, but glad that it helped you come to a decision.