Fpn "haiku" Competition

[Eoghan2009]

I am fascinated by the way you can use words. What I would like is to throw down the gauntlet to see who can express most with the fewest words. Haiku seems to work by the juxtaposition of two themes the contrast basically drawing forth a strong reaction. Obviously there will be differences of style and some examples may be historical rather than novel. Anyway I will post this and then reply to myself to get the ball rolling.

[Eoghan2009]

The cockerel crows

Christ's gaze

Peter's tears

 

 

 

 

 

I did intend to use the abbreviation of cockerel but censorship software "Bleeps" me out!!!!!!!!

Edited April 14, 2012 by Eoghan2009

[Eoghan2009]

woman cries

baby cries

mother cries

 

 

 

 

(the cry of pain, the cry of life, the cry of joy) That's a word count of six although I might mark myself down for the addition of an explanation.

[carlc]

woman cries

baby cries

mother cries

 

 

 

 

(the cry of pain, the cry of life, the cry of joy) That's a word count of six although I might mark myself down for the addition of an explanation.

 

I don't know if you wanted commentary in the thread but that is very good!

 

Looking forward to more - although the use of the term 'haiku' may have the purists on your case - sadly that has happened before and the thread got rather derailed by discussions of the niceties of English haiku versus the historically pure form (or something like that - I'm not here to open a debate about it though).

 

Let the words flow!

[79spitfire]

Haiku!

Gesundheit!

Bless you!

 

 

Couldn't resist, and no I didn't come up with it.

[McFortner]

A pen in my hand

Pausing to collect my thoughts

Ink upon the page

[professionaldilettante]

There seems to be confusion to the format of a Haiku, so here is the entry from Wiki for everyone to read up on before posting more non-haiku's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

Edited April 15, 2012 by professionaldilettante

[Scrawler]

A terse verse

in short forms

a big idea

[carlc]

There seems to be confusion to the format of a Haiku, so here is the entry from Wiki for everyone to read up on before posting more non-haiku's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

 

Reading the OP it would seem the challenge is minimum number of words to express the greatest amount of 'content' (for want of a better way of putting it) - the use of the word 'haiku' was merely used as an exemplar of the form aimed for (that is: a short poetic form). Thus non-haiku is perfectly acceptable. They're just free-forming.

 

Eoghan - if I've got that wrong please feel free to correct.

[bjcmatthews]

Infinite

 

(kidding)

[Kyosu]

They wouldn't know a Haiku

Alas poor Gaijin

If it bit them on the ass

[Eoghan2009]

The use of inverted commas in my experience is sometimes for quotations but also for using a word loosely or incorrectly. When talking with my class at school I may use both hands raised waving "bunny ears" to indicate visually they the word I am saying at the same time is used loosely or incorrectly. Thus to use "weight" in a science class is wrong, the correct term is "mass". Weight is properly measured in Newtons and mass is measured in kilograms. The distinction becomes more important in physics where the former changes as you leave the earth's gravity.

 

I do not generally correct this incorrect usage of the term weight outside of the lab. Context dictates meaning and in this context I do not wish to write a traditional Japanese Haiku, I merely use it as a "loan word" much as the French use English phrases such as "le weekend" much to the irritation of L'Académie française.

[plistumi]

Clever witticism

Better than

Nonconstructive criticism.

[Kyosu]

Perfectly round blobs of ink

Indigo smeared page

Ahabs die so beautifully

 

 

 

Eoghan2009, I meant no offense. We are all in the same boat. Please accept this pen themed doggerel by way of apology.

Edited April 16, 2012 by Kyosu

[Scrawler]

Clever witticism

Better than

Nonconstructive criticism.

 

:clap1:

[Kyosu]

There seems to be confusion to the format of a Haiku, so here is the entry from Wiki for everyone to read up on before posting more non-haiku's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

 

 

With apologies to the spirit of Izumi Shibiku, a Tanka [rather than a Haiku]:

 

Some cross the Bridge of Poetry,

some don't.

Unless you are the watchman there

it is not your right

to cast blame.

 

 

So, Professionaldilettante, where is your Haiku?

[Scrawler]

The guards at the gate

spring up with swords outstretched

bar their own entry

Edited April 16, 2012 by Scrawler

[Scrawler]

Who casts the first stone

may believe he has not sinned

but bloody dies alone

[Scrawler]

If you choose not to write in haiku

let me suggest what you can do

write a short verse

in that horrid old curse

commonly called Limerick-u.

[the flexistentialist]

I was once told this was the world's shortest poem and it stuck with me:

 

I…

Why?

 

 

May it now stick with others.

 

My favorite historically short poem was written when John Dunne's father-in-law had him thrown in jail and had the marriage with his daughter Anne annulled:

 

John Dunne.

Anne Dunne.

Undone.

 

It was carved into the brick of his jail cell.

 

 

the flexistentialist