Answers To An Age Old Question
Posted by Ruaidhri , 10 May 2011 · 1,435 views
While this question was asked down in the bowels of the Forum Leaders' Discussion area where our Moderators have their tea breaks etc., I thought it was of such importance that I shold post the answer here, where at least two people would be able read it.The QuestionSo...how DO you check a pen's gender? Inquiring minds want to know!(For some unknown reason there a rabbit - or possible hare - dancing beside this)The AnswerWhile it is a recognised fact that only those versed in the most esoteric pen lore can deal with your question, I shall give some basic pointers.From a purely scientific point of view, there are a number of simple tests that can be performed to determine the gender of one's pen. The important thing to remember is that the Male Pen is identified by a process of elimination - it is far simpler to spot the Female.To work!.The researcher will need (as well as a selection of pens of unknown gender) some Test Equipment -
- a ruler
- pictures of eg. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Paul Newman, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp (whoever they are).
- some pieces of shiny jewellery
- several bottles of good quality perfume
- an ironing board
- Using the ruler, place the pen to be tested 6" (several millipedes if you are a Metric Person, or 1/3 cubits if older) away from the test sample.
- Note the distance carefully in your notebook.
- Leave for approximately 1 hour.
- Remeasure and repeat with next test sample.